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[Danny]

Confirmators - these look like indicators but they only work at the instant the car makes the turn (or slightly after).

Infuriators - again these look like indicators but they are only used on straight roads & often motorways for miles and miles.

Nondicators - only fitted to BMWs these are never used, except to bag a parking space in multi-story car parks.

Divlights - very similar to fog lights but only used during the hours of daylight.

Toolights - these are fog lights that can only be used if the head lights are on.

Dumblights - just like rear fog lights, but once used they cannot be turned off for days, sometimes weeks or months.

Dicklights - similar to the above, but used in slightly misty conditions in nose-to-tail traffic.

Unilights - these are like head lights, but fitted to only one side of the vehicle and angled to light up the opposite side of the road.

Crashdoors - like ordinary car doors but these are thrown open violently (usually outside schools) without warning, to sharpen up the avoidance skills of passing motorists.

Cyclelights - almost mythical devices rumoured to be seen on older cyclists' machines.

Lanejamma - this is a vehicle that can never reach the legal speed limit and can only be driven in the centre or outside lane of motorways.

[Paulus]

I encounter these, and more, EVERY DAY. As you say, usually BMWs. I came across a good example of Dicklights this morning. Bowling along at 60mph on the M6 by J10, slightly misty, a little busy as is usual on a Monday morning. Just then, the car in front of me (I think you can guess the manufacturer) switched his rear foglights on. I responded by following him on full beam for the next 2 junctions.

Petty??? Perhaps, but it made me feel a bit better.