Knife crime tsar

[Bigron]

I usually carry a small (locking) folding knife from Poundland - amazingly useful, but no threat to a mouse!

Ron.

[STEMO]

Kinnell! The forum is full of mad stabbers. 

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

I carry a zombie knife, but its only for cleaning under my finger nails, honest. 

[STEMO]

I carry a zombie knife, but its only for cleaning under my finger nails, honest. 

Are they for killing zombies? I thought they were already dead.

[Lizzie Zoom]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

[STEMO]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

Yeah, yeah. Tell that to the judge. 

[Lizzie Zoom]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

Yeah, yeah. Tell that to the judge. 

Yeah. Honest gov. Just for emergencies

[Sir Tigger KC]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

Trouble is by the time you have decided what tool to use, have located and extracted it....... You are dead!     

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

Yeah, yeah. Tell that to the judge. 

Yeah. Honest gov. Just for emergencies

You'll be going down, Lizzie..........

[STEMO]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

Yeah, yeah. Tell that to the judge. 

Yeah. Honest gov. Just for emergencies

You'll be going down, Lizzie..........

I beg you pardon     

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

I carry a zombie knife, but its only for cleaning under my finger nails, honest. 

Are they for killing zombies? I thought they were already dead.

I thought you were streetwise. 
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/1612976/what-zombie-knife-street-weapons-ban-latest-uk/

[STEMO]

I carry a zombie knife, but its only for cleaning under my finger nails, honest. 

Are they for killing zombies? I thought they were already dead.

I thought you were streetwise. 
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/1612976/what-zombie-knife-street-weapons-ban-latest-uk/

I thought you understood sarcasm.

[Raeturbo]

Well, are you allowed to carry a screwdriver? Just as bad, and in most shops you go to you could simply pick a knife up on the display. It's a hard call for police as it is, god forbid you search the wrong guy even though you're doing it because statistics tell you to.

[Lizzie Zoom]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

Yeah, yeah. Tell that to the judge. 

Yeah. Honest gov. Just for emergencies

You'll be going down, Lizzie..........

Do not worry Opti, I am not going down any time soon.

A Swiss Army Knife is not considered to be a weapon as it's longest, folding knife, is less than 3" long.

I have even have it in my handbag when I go to Kent Police HQ and Training College.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I have a Swiss Army Pocket Knife, given to me by our Swiss parent company for achieving our targets, which has 20 tools that I keep in my handbag for emergency use

Yeah, yeah. Tell that to the judge. 

Yeah. Honest gov. Just for emergencies

You'll be going down, Lizzie..........

I beg you pardon     

Lizzie is a nice young lady. She knows I'm a gentleman and wouldn't dream of implying imply the other type of 'going down'.