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[GastronomicKleptomaniac]

Disclaimer - I am not a pro, I am self-taught with 15 years experience. I can give my views on products, but if you buy them and don't like them, I'm not to blame. Also, none of the products are, to my knowledge, edible.

A couple of OOFers have asked for a beginner's guide to detailing. I can't stress enough, I have only learned by doing. There are courses you can attend, but for the average person wanting to look after their own cars, they're expensive. Instead, I'm putting together a brief guide to detailing. I've used our Tigra as the main example, which is a 14 year old car. I spent a few hours bringing it back to a decent finish, but by no means concours. For absolute technical detailing, strap on your beard and head over to www.detailingworld.co.uk - a great bunch of people with an insane appetite for, er, detail.

There are thousands of different products you could buy for every conceivable purpose. Like most hobbies, you could spend a great deal of money - IMHO it's generally diminishing returns. I'll make reference to various ones I've used and how I've found them. I'll just go through the process, mentioning them as and when.

The car

For this I've used our Tigra. It's our biffabout car, previously been damaged and repaired by a blind man on a galloping horse. But, it's a nice metallic black. It had sat under some trees for about 4 months before I started this, so it was coated in bits of tree, bird doings, and general filth. The wheels are painted to a fairly terrible standard, so I haven't done anything with them other than blast them with water and foam. Please, take a moment to think how suave you would look in a motor like this. Steve McQueen "drove" a Puma in the late 90s, but he made the wrong choice of two-seat shenanigans.

BEGINNING EDITED by Pe Te, on Flickr

IMG_20200503_115208501 by Pe Te, on Flickr

Preparation

Because the car is covered in all sorts, I want to strip it back to basically bare paint. There are various ways to do this. I like to do as much as possible without touching the paint, because the more times you touch a dirty car, the more chance of making more scratches.
 Because it's an old car, and because I know I'm going to polish and wax it immediately, I use All Purpose Cleaner. You can buy big bottles from various detailing companies. I use it for most things - interior deep cleans, wheels, door shuts - but in this case I'm mixing it roughly 1:8. Into a bottle with a foaming head with some hot water and sprayed over the car. Not ideal to do it in sunlight, try not to let it dry. ***Use APC at your own risk. If you use it too strongly it could cause damage to the paint***

IMG_20200503_115530853 by Pe Te, on Flickr

IMG_20200503_120236297 by Pe Te, on Flickr

Then let this start to soak. The idea is it will dissolve the tree sap and droppings, as well as any remaining waxes on the paint from previously.

Snow foam

You need a pressure washer to use snow foam. I use a Karcher K2, it works for me, but others are more highly recommended. In addition, you'll need a foam lance. All much of a muchness, about £25-30 for a brass one. They need cleaning out every year or so to work at their best, we've had ours for about five years now. I've replaced the bottle after a slight brute force incident.

IMG_20200503_120408854 by Pe Te, on Flickr

I like AutoFinesse Avalanche or KKD Blizzard - both are good, won't strip waxes off, and available for about £20 for 5 litres. 5l normally lasts us about six months but we have a lot of cars. Mix this up, about 1:10 is usually right. Have a fiddle with the foam gun to get a reasonable amount of foam, you want it to cling to the paint. The idea being that it softens dirt and starts loosening it.

IMG_20200503_120708143 by Pe Te, on Flickr

This is after a couple of minutes "dwelling" as the pros say.

Let it sit but don't let it dry on the paint. Especially try to avoid doing it in sunlight - again, there is potential to damage the paint. After 3-5 minutes, go round with the jetwash and rinse it off. Pay particular attention to panel gaps and around the windows, etc, get as much water around as possible to blast out as much dirt as you can. Never aim it at 90 degrees to the paint , always come at it from a shallow angle, so the water lifts the dirt away rather than driving it into the paint. Get the car nice and wet.

TO BE CONTINUED

[GastronomicKleptomaniac]

Two Bucket Method, and Wash Mitts

One of the best things you can do to keep the paint in good nick. Like most kids I grew up watching my dad throw a bit of washing up liquid into a tiny bucket, then use an old sponge all over the car. Then I saw how different a car looked if you did it properly...

IMG_20200503_123652926 by Pe Te, on Flickr

I'm using APC here, just to make sure it strips as much off as possible. For a normal wash, use proper car shampoo, mixed as directed on the bottle. I use Bilt Hamber Autowash, which is a tiny bottle but it's super concentrated. It works out at pennies per wash. See also Dodo Juice Born To Be Mild. Both are very good shampoos.

For the concours Mercedes, I use Meguiars Gold Class. It feels slicker and smells great, but is much more expensive. I was lucky to win a bottle last year, it's still my favourite but cost per wash is much higher. Avoid any of the supermarket or cheapy shampoos. They have higher salt and chemical contents that could harm your paint. And the super concentrates work out cheaper anyway...

The wash mitt - again, various types. That's a noodle mitt, I use this for any properly dirty cars, it's better for getting in around the panel gaps, lights, behind the mirrors. About a fiver for a decent one. The idea is they lift dirt away from the surface. You can get synthetic wool, or microfibre, but I only use those if the car is relatively clean to begin with, because they seem to soil quicker.

The two bucket method is simple. Dunk the mitt in the shampoo. Get it soaking. Wash a small area (a sixth of an Omega roof, or thereabouts). Then dunk it in the clean water, shake it about to get the dirt off, then back into the shampoo bucket, and wash the next bit. Lots of water means less risk of scratching. If you've not done this before, then look in the rinse bucket when you're finished - you'll see how much you've took off. Don't be afraid to empty and refill the rinse bucket if you need to. We use builders buckets because they hold more water, but also are Pete-proof...

Go over the whole car, a panel at a time, top to bottom. Make sure you get round all the corners, leave the bottoms of the sills and bumpers til last. Then go round with the jetwash, rinsing across the panels, until there's no soap left on.

Drying Towels

Everyone knows their dad used a chamois. They were the best thing, but now there's a load of better options. I can't remember what brands we use. I would avoid the Auto Finesse turqoise one, it's great for a few washes but soon stops drying properly. Something similar to this - https://www.waxworx.uk/shop/shop-by-category/accessories/waxworx-big-blue-drying-towel/ - is what you want. I've never used that one and can't comment if it's any good.

Pop it gently on the paint and then pat it down, before grabbing the edge and pulling it off the paint. Don't rub hard into the paint, you'll risk scratches. Think of the tablecloth trick and you won't go far wrong. Start with the biggest panels, and those that are closest to the sun, so you don't get water marks. Never use any washing powder on your cloths, it tends to ruin them.

Clay

I didn't clay the Tigra this time (because I had no clay, mainly, but also because it's been done fairly recently) - but this is another important step. Clay bars are about a tenner, I like Bilt Hamber's, because you can use plain water as lubricant. Medium grade is best if the car's not had it done before, soft grade if it has. Cut a piece off about an inch cubed. Pop this into a bowl of hot water for five minutes (tea break!) to soften it. You then want to mould it into your hand and work it across the paint in straight lines. Use a spray bottle with warm water (and maybe some shampoo, if you prefer) to keep the surface very wet. Multiple passes in both directions and you'll initially feel it grabbing, then eventually it'll glide off. Have a look at it...

https://procarreviews.com/wp-content/uploads/Clay-Bar-For-Cars-e1536262829701-750x410.jpg - not my photograph so I've linked it instead.

Keep rinsing the clay in a bucket of clean hot water, keep kneading and folding it to have a clean surface, and you'll feel the difference. If you're really strange, put your fingers in a cigarette wrapper and run them over the paint. If it snags, clay it a bit more.

The clay removes "surface contaminents", meaning the paint end up cleaner, and the polishing stage is much quicker, easier, and the pads and cloths last longer.

TO BE CONTINUED

[GastronomicKleptomaniac]

Polishing

Can you polish by hand? Yes. Can I be bothered? No. I use a DA polisher, mine is the Dodo Juice Buff Daddy, because I really like Dodo Juice as a company. It's a rebranded DAS6, which have been out for donkey's years. I got mine when I bought Zeke about eight years ago, it cost me about £100 IIRC. They are reasonably idiot proof, and a good machine to learn with. It's a Dual Action, which means it oscillates and rotates at the same time. Rotaries are available, apparently they are quicker for polishing but there's more risk of burning the paint. As I am a shaven ape, I stick with my DA.

For this car, I use a cheapy eBay foam pad. For the "proper" cars I use two pads and generally two polishes - all Menzerna, because they work. Menzerna 400 Heavy polish on a cutting pad, followed by Menzerna 2500 on a finishing pad. I then have a very soft foam pad to use a very fine cut polish if I need to, but generally those two are good enough for me.

IMG_20200503_125033180 by Pe Te, on Flickr

For this, I used Autoglym Ultra Deep Shine. It gives good enough results for this car, despite being designed as a hand polish. The pad has obviously been squashed in storage but soon plumps up once it's spinning...

DA onto speed 3 or 4. Three good blobs of polish on the pad, work it over a cool panel without switching the machine on. This spreads the polish over the pad... you can use your fingers if you'd prefer. Then push the polisher gently onto the panel, and switch it on. Work it over in overlapping strokes, moving at about an inch per second. Multiple passes, usually until the polish goes clear. Don't put any pressure on the machine, let the head do the work. If it's slowing down, you're pushing too hard and you'll burn through the lacquer. If there's a scratch you want rid of, take lots of multiple passes, not a few hard presses!

I cannot stress enough, read the instructions. Some polishes need time to cure, some need wiping immediately off. Use a nice thick microfibre cloth, gentle, multiple passes. Start with the gentlest polish and pad combo you have, try it, and see if it's giving you the result you want. If not, then go to a heavier cut pad or polish.

Use a clean toothbrush to regularly clean the pad off. You can buy dedicated brushes for the job, but as ever, it's got detailing tax on it.

In terms of polishes, there are hundreds. I've used Auto Finesse Tripple (lots of fillers but a good all rounder, easy to wipe down. Also very good by hand), Tough Prep (a bit harsher, less fillers, bit harder to work). Autoglym Super Resin is similar to Tripple, also very good. TurtleWax do some through EuroCarParts, they work but are a bit fussy on pad. As I said above, Menzerna are very nice to use with the right pads. All are similar in price. I've had excellent results with CarPro Essence - but it's a little more expensive than the others. Also a bit fussy, doesn't like sunlight when you're using it.

Whatever polish you use, remember that the polish is the abrasive part - literally breaking down the top layer of paint to show fresh, smooth lacquer. Some, such as Tripple, are designed to leae a little protection, but I would always, always follow up with a wax or sealant, to keep the shine for a lot longer. Most All In Ones such as Tripple will last a couple of weeks before the effects fade.

A good bright torch is the best way to see the paint - if it has scratches or swirl marks, they won't always show up until the sun hits it. Take multiple passes, inspecting after each, until the swirls are gone!

For product selection, you can mix and match with whatever works for you. All cars and paints are different, some will look and work better with one product than another. However, if you're only dipping your toe in, generally, sticking with one manufacturer will work - ie, follow Auto Finesse polish with Auto Finesse wax or sealant. A quick look at their website will tell you what has been tested with what - sticking with AF, Tripple followed by one of their waxes, for example.

[GastronomicKleptomaniac]

Pre-wax Prep

If you're going to wax or seal a car, it needs to be prepared. Some polishes will leave a trace behind that stops the Last Stage Product (LSP) adhering. It'll either look crap, or it won't last anywhere near as long as you want.

You can use IPA (industrial alcohol, not funky beer), to wipe down with. I however use "Stripped-Ease" by Angelwax. It's a spray bottle, smells quite nice but is a quick and easy wipe down, before it then evaporates. Work it gently, a small piece at a time, with a clean cloth, and you're good to go.

Waxes and Sealants

What's the difference between a wax and a sealant? At my level of knowledge, waxes contain carnauba wax with a mix of other ingredients to make it stick to your paint. A sealant uses various chemicals to stick to your paint. There are old-fashioned paste waxes (I'm a big fan of Collinite 476S, and Dodo Juice Blue Velvet). Liquid waxes (Meguiars Gold Class, great shine, terrible longevity). Spray waxes (Meguiars Ultimate Spray Wax, good finish). Liquid sealant (Autoglym Extra Gloss Protection - excellent shine and longevity but don't let it sit unbuffed). Spray sealants (I adore CarPlan Super Gloss, and it's much cheaper than the posh makes).

What do you go for? Whatever you prefer. I've got CarPlan SuperGloss on the Omega and vRS and it looks great and the water sheets off. And it's a doddle to use. I've used AG Extra Gloss on the Tigra, which is an easy to use liquid. I've got a few months of protection out of it before. Auto Finesse Tough Coat is also a piece of cake to use and lasts ages.

However, if I'm having a proper day of it, there's a tactile satisfaction to using a paste wax. A bit more effort in applying and buffing but they can look better than a sealant. Always use a good clean microfibre, apply in overlapping straight lines, whatever product you use. And read the instructions. The tougher products will weld themselves to your paint if you leave them too long, or apply them in sunlight, and then the neighbours will wonder when you learned all that Anglo-Saxon.

FINISHED EDITED by Pe Te, on Flickr


Ceramic coatings

Never used them, because I currently have no indoor facility. They get rave reviews but are incredibly fussy with prep, and some of them need no dust, no water, etc, for a few days. In all honesty, they're probably brilliant, but they're pricey and I don't feel the need to go to that level. Diminishing returns and all that.

Glass

A car won't look properly clean unless the glass is spotless. I use whatever spray glass cleaner comes to hand (Meguiars at the moment). Then coat all the outsides with Angelwax H2Go. As long as the glass is clean, it lasts ages. If you're not familiar with rain repellent - it means water beads up and runs off the screen once you're doing more than about 25mph. And even below that, it's much easier to see through. Again, clean microfibres, apply it, let it cure for 5 (tea break!), then buff off.

[STEMO]

That's no good to me, I just don't bother. But I'm sure it will be of interest to some on here, thanks for taking the time to do it. 

[TheBoy]

Good write up , no idea if accurate, as I use the one bucket method, with a Karcher.  Or push the boat out and find a local Eastern European.

[Doctor Gollum]

GK, how often do you remove the bumpers/light clusters to properly clean the unseen edges?

Or is that just me

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

This is brilliant. Just what I wanted. Im going to print it off and keep it handy until it becomes second nature.
Thanks Gastro...

[TheBoy]

This is brilliant. Just what I wanted. Im going to print it off and keep it handy until it becomes second nature.
Thanks Gastro...

Anyone fancy practicing on a big black one, just let me know....

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

I have a big dark red one and a small bright red one to practice on. Also a small black one if I fell energetic.

[Viral_Jim]

Thanks GK, great write-up! It's nice to have a how-to from someone that's clearly well practiced, but not as unrealistically anal as some you see on the net.

I do have a question though, what do you do on your cars over time? Clearly the above is quite an involved process, not exactly something you'd do weekly (not least because you'd end up thinning the lacquer/paint). So what do you do to keep it shiny, and how often, in between giving it a full going over?

[YZ250]

Good write up. 

As I said previously, my lad did it as a living for years so he has the light rails, reflector boards etc.  He also did dent repair etc but changed jobs a couple of years back and left all of his clobber in my garage, even though he has his own house.     It's a lot of gear. 

As you know, it can take many hours, but worth the results at the end. 

[GastronomicKleptomaniac]

GK, how often do you remove the bumpers/light clusters to properly clean the unseen edges?

Or is that just me

Usually if theyve been parked up for a while, other than that... When winter is over and I start using them again.

In between times, I tend to snowfoam, rinse, and use Autoglym Aqua Wax to dry. If they haven't got too dirty...

[Entwood]

Thanks GK ....  I think ...... 

You've just cost me £180.00 ..... I'll let you know in a couple of weeks time if I'm gonna love you or hate you ......   

[GastronomicKleptomaniac]

Thanks GK ....  I think ...... 

You've just cost me £180.00 ..... I'll let you know in a couple of weeks time if I'm gonna love you or hate you ......   

... you've bought a Tigra?!