Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Sir Tigger KC]

I have just spoken with the BMW 'Genius' man.

He confirmed that due to NCAP safety standards the lane assist can't be permanently deleted.

He also confirmed that he has no end of customers asking the same question.

Still, I suppose it enables retards and cretins who are incapable of driving a straight course  access to the Kings highway. ......and we are all told to be inclusive these days.

Not to worry, Opti, you get used to it. In fact, you'll probably grow to love it, and wonder how you ever got by without it. Or.......you'll regret ever buying the fickin nannying heap of shite 

Nope....because I will switch it off. Along with the  stop/start system that will save the polar ice from melting.

How long does it take to turn off all the nannying shite before you head off to Waitrose?   

[Andy B]

I'm sure there must be someone out there that can switch it off for good ..... if they're clever enough to write Adblue out & re-map engine ECUs  .... give it time ....

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I have just spoken with the BMW 'Genius' man.

He confirmed that due to NCAP safety standards the lane assist can't be permanently deleted.

He also confirmed that he has no end of customers asking the same question.

Still, I suppose it enables retards and cretins who are incapable of driving a straight course  access to the Kings highway. ......and we are all told to be inclusive these days.

Not to worry, Opti, you get used to it. In fact, you'll probably grow to love it, and wonder how you ever got by without it. Or.......you'll regret ever buying the fickin nannying heap of shite 

Nope....because I will switch it off. Along with the  stop/start system that will save the polar ice from melting.

How long does it take to turn off all the nannying shite before you head off to Lidl?   

FTFY.

Three prods down from eight.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I'm sure there must be someone out there that can switch it off for good ..... if they're clever enough to write Adblue out & re-map engine ECUs  .... give it time ....

Some clever bod from The BMW tech team could probably code it out in five minutes flat.....but they won't.

[YZ250]

I'm sure there must be someone out there that can switch it off for good ..... if they're clever enough to write Adblue out & re-map engine ECUs  .... give it time ....

Some clever bod from The BMW tech team could probably code it out in five minutes flat.....but they won't.

I wonder if it can be disabled on Carly. 

[YZ250]

Since the NCAP update, is it still possible to set it to Individual Mode and untick Steering Intervention. Previously, this left the green light on but stopped it pulling. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I'm sure there must be someone out there that can switch it off for good ..... if they're clever enough to write Adblue out & re-map engine ECUs  .... give it time ....

Some clever bod from The BMW tech team could probably code it out in five minutes flat.....but they won't.

I wonder if it can be disabled on Carly. 

?

[Varche]

This 'lane assist' bollix sounds a bit unnerving to me. 

Mind you I still think that parking sensors are a technological wonder! 

It's a solution to a problem that doesn't exist.

I have onLy read a half of this thread. Welcome to the future!. All vehicles will have to have this feature to facilitate 100%driverless mode.  In the meantime , we have to put up with it. On the plus side it may be lives ( yours included) by stopping other vehicles drifting off line as the driver nods off. Big problem on the continent with vast distances with no hold ups or traffic jams

Our car irritates me with beeping to let you know you haven't input to the steering. I.e. you have fallen asleep or driven in a straight line or a constant small turn.

[YZ250]

I'm sure there must be someone out there that can switch it off for good ..... if they're clever enough to write Adblue out & re-map engine ECUs  .... give it time ....

Some clever bod from The BMW tech team could probably code it out in five minutes flat.....but they won't.

I wonder if it can be disabled on Carly. 

?

Carly is an OBD Port Dongle. You load the app on your mobile phone and sign in to pair your phone to the dongle. You then have a choice of pre-proven adaptations or you can long code to change certain things within your car’s software. 

[Varche]

Just a thought. When you have your first prang in it lets hope your account bears out what the ECU’s say actually happened.

Suddenly an Omega elite looks good

[STEMO]

Just a thought: If you do manage to totally disable it, which I doubt you can, will you also disable your insurance policy?

[TheBoy]

that said . the shocking. appallingly bad standard of some driving these days  many people should NOT have a licence ,driver aids or not 

Steady on, DtB, clearly you haven't discovered how difficult it is to drive whilst updating your arsebook and checking in on idiotter, whilst applying your makeup, and a screen full of gonks with all you tech stuck to the windscreen....

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

Just a thought. When you have your first prang in it lets hope your account bears out what the ECU’s say actually happened.

Suddenly an Omega elite looks good

The guy I from work who I mentioned earlier in the thread, who had a fatal coming to ether with a cyclist a few weeks ago had his Tesla taken away by the Police, so they could have it interrogated to see if his story agreed with the info from the car.
He has since been arrested on suspicion of causing death by dangerous driving.

[Doctor Gollum]

The ether won't have helped any

[dave the builder]

that said . the shocking. appallingly bad standard of some driving these days  many people should NOT have a licence ,driver aids or not 

Steady on, DtB, clearly you haven't discovered how difficult it is to drive whilst updating your arsebook and checking in on idiotter, whilst applying your makeup, and a screen full of gonks with all you tech stuck to the windscreen....

True 
But then I don't connect my phone to the internet ,I have one of those ye olde computer boxes with a 32" screen for such matters 
 I did replace the Omega's wax cylinder player with a bluetooth enabled touch screen ,i don't answer calls or texts while driving , if someone has an emergency ,they call call 999 if it's urgent, or leave me a message or text if less urgent and they want to talk to me