People need to make up their minds - do you want an EU army/navy/airforce or not?
At the moment defence is not an EU function. Every European country (EU or not) has sovereign control of it's own forces. So whilst the EU is guilty of many things, it's got no role in military support for Ukr using any countries existing assets. Sure - it can provide funding for Ukr to buy stuff, but it has no control of any army, navy or airforce to send in.
If there were a "coalition of the willing" then one, some or all of the European nations could send in their army, navy and/or airforce now, with no approval required from anyone. That would certainly upset both the US and Russia, and would likely result in a response from Russia against those countries that took part. And worse, if Russia were to attack a NATO country as a result of their participation, that would not automatically invoke Article 5 of the NATO treaty, since it can be argued that the NATO country 'started it'.
I've said it from the beginning, this war is going to go on for 5+ years. The west will not get directly involved, and the best that can be hoped for is that western countries use that 5+ year period to re-arm. That's exactly what Poland, Sweden and Finland are doing, and to a lesser extent France and Germany. However, the UK response so far has been very poor. Lots of talk about 3.5% and 5% defence spending, but no sign of it actually happening.