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[Nickbat]

Here are mine:

There was a young girl from Devizes
Who had boobs of two different sizes.
One was small and did nothing at all;
The other was big and won prizes!


There was a young queer from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night as to who had the right
To do what, with which, and to whom.


*No offence intended by the use of the term "queer".
That's the way it was originally written.

[CaptainZok]

There was a Bavarian monk
Who went to sleep on his bunk
He dreamt that God Venus
was sucking his elbow
and woke up all covered in sweat.
 

[Dishevelled Den]

A diner while dining at Crewe
Found a rather large mouse in his stew
Said the waiter, Don't shout
And wave it about,
or the rest will be wanting one too.

[Darth Loo-knee]

Old Mother Hubbard went to her Cupboard
To give her doggy a bone,
When she bent over, Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his Own 

[eddie]

there was an old man from gotham
who took out his eyeballs to wash 'em
his wife said "jack if you dont put 'em back
I'll put 'em on the floor and squash 'em"

There was a young lady from darjeeling
who had a peculiar feeling
she lay on her back and ...no...no...no.no!


women and kids ya know

eddie

[NiallyV6CDX]

Old Mother Hubbard went to her Cupboard
To give her doggy a bone,
When she bent over, Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his Own 

Haha,  very good (trust you to give us a dirty one )   

[3.2 manual]

what must be done, must be done,
out the window his bum was hung,
farmer green passing by,
heard a rumble in the sky,
he looked up, it came down,
now he's known as farmer brown.

[TheBoy]

My father, bless him, taught me many....

...none really fit for posting here 

[unlucky alf]

there was a young lady from daulton creak
who had her monthly`s twice a week
her sister from woking said
how very provoking
no time for poking so too speak!

[unlucky alf]

there was a young lady from keldoors,
whos f4nny was covered in sores,
even the dogs wouldnt eat
the green festered meat
that hung in festroodles from her draws

[Richie London]

There was a young lady named Randle
Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal
By coming out bare
On the main village square
And massaging herself with a candle.

[Ghost]

I see woman on bending knee,
the more she bends the more I see,


I saw a big fat worm one day wriggeling on its belly,
watched it for a little while and squashed it with my wellie.


to market to market said my uncle jim as some one
threw a tommato at him,
tommatoes dont hurt he cried with a grin,
the next bugger did it come in a tin,

the rest i can not write down as there are two many young and quick offended eyes,

no worms were miss treated or killed by these limericks [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif]

[Auto Addict]

Spike Milligan was the king of limericks

My favorite is:-

There was a young Indian named Ghandi
Went into a bar for a shandy
Knocked over a bourbon
Which he mopped up with his turban
The barman said blimey, that's handy.