Me and my mate Bill_Oddie are concerned at the direction this thread is taking. Christmas and all it represents should remain squeaky clean in our view.
A few tips:
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
Leave a plate filled with biscuits and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy.
" Leave another plate out with half a stale biscuit and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa.
Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
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Topic: 5 more sleeps until (Read 1590 times)