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[mantagte]

 
 
The Man  Rules

 
We always  hear "the rules" From  the female side....   
  Now  here are the rules from the male  side.     These  are our rules!  Please note.. these are all  numbered "1 " ON  PURPOSE!   
 
1.    Men are NOT mind  readers. (FIRST  & FOREMOST RULE)   
 
1.  Learn to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it down. We  need it up, you need it down. You don't  hear us complaining about you leaving it  down.

1.  Sunday sports or news, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it  be.

1.  Crying is  blackmail.

1.  Ask for what you  want.  Let us be clear on this  one:
Subtle hints do not  work!
Strong hints do not  work!
Obvious hints do not  work!
Just say it!
 
1.  Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to  almost every question.

1.  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do, Sympathy is what your girlfriends  are for.

1.  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1.  If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.

1.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one

1.  You can either ask us to do  something or tell us how you want it  done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1.  If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.  We  know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.  If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1.  You  do have enough clothes.

1.  You do have  too many shoes.

1.  I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1.  Thank you for reading  this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on  the couch tonight; But  did you know men really don't mind that?  It's like camping. 
 
 

[Webby the Bear]

yep, the man does rule

[Sixstring]

Can I just add.................

1)  Headaches are not an acceptable excuse, just say "I don't feel like it" we are not mindreaders.

1) Doing something important DOES include doing something to the car, or going for a bike ride.

1) The "silent treatment" is not a punishment, its a break from nagging.

Lastly.........

When you go out, "it takes as long as it takes", so why does this rule not apply to me too when I go out???

[Webby the Bear]

When you go out, "it takes as long as it takes", so why does this rule not apply to me too when I go out???

too true!!!!

[jonnycool]

And I thought it was just me...

[Lizzie_Zoom]

Womens Rules:

If we do not like what we hear we will ignore you and do what we do anyway!

[Amigo]

The loo seat thing. Too flipping true. Why is one more important than the other?
  Is something wrong? "NO". Ok then & i go off & do something else. Well i did ask, stop playing silly games. (They REALLY hate that!!)

One to add to your list is, when ordering food (sit down or delivery) you both choose your mains then when it comes to side dishes you ask if she'd like any rice/chips etc. & she says no. so the food arrives & she wants to dig into your chips/rice etc. No. you had your chance....cue the sulks & a ruined meal!

[Mysteryman]

I'm not laughing at that. It is so incisive as to be shockingly close to my, and I suspect, lots of otheres relationships.