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[Dishevelled Den]

During an early morning search many years ago I pulled the mattress from a bed only to find that it was accompanied by an infant who was buried in the mass of bedding.

Later in the search, having moved downstairs, I sat on the on the same infant who had been placed by its caring parents - once again disguised by a mass of clothing - on the chair I had the misfortune of choosing.

On another occasion I was at a snooty dinner when a waiter tapped me on the shoulder and enquired if the firearm he was holding like a diseased rat belonged to me.  It did, naturally, and had slipped from the old waistband holster I had been using at the time.

[Lizzie_Zoom]

During an early morning search many years ago I pulled the mattress from a bed only to find that it was accompanied by an infant who was buried in the mass of bedding.

Later in the search, having moved downstairs, I sat on the on the same infant who had been placed by its caring parents - once again disguised by a mass of clothing - on the chair I had the misfortune of choosing.

On another occasion I was at a snooty dinner when a waiter tapped me on the shoulder and enquired if the firearm he was holding like a diseased rat belonged to me.  It did, naturally, and had slipped from the old waistband holster I had been using at the time.

Police brutality Zulu!!

Seriously though it was obviously not your day!

[Mysteryman]

We had to take a friends rottweiler to the vets once and whilst in the waiting room I slackened off her collar. When I was called by the vet, I got up and walked into his surgery unfortunately the collar had eased over the dogs head and there I was, lead in hand - but no Rotty - she was still sitting on the floor in the waiting room. Expecting to see the Rottweiler the vet - stifling his laughter - was nearly in tears when he saw the empty collar and quickly asked what the problem was. Once I realised she wasn't on the end of the lead - and trying to reclaim some lost dignity - I explained that she seemed to be suffering from a bit of a weight loss. I nearly died of shame when I slinked back into the waiting room to get her. Still it cheered everyone else up.   

I like that

[geoffr70]

When in the army i was on a training course in Northern Ireland, which consisted of getting talked at for 12 hours a day. I was the only redcap surrounded by a room of infantiers.

Whilst sitting in the middle of a large and very warm lecture room, surrounded by said infantiers, with the lecturer boring us, i decided to rest my head on my hand. I didn't know I had fallen asleep until I woke myself up with a large groaning noise. (You know, those weird noises you sometimes make when you're asleep!)

I was suddenly aware that all eyes in the room were on me, and what had happened, so i immediately just coughed and patted my chest to explain it away! Very embarrasing!

That's a clean one anyway!

[Elite Pete]

Oh i've got loads. In the late 70s I had just bought Saturday Night Fever on cassette and was in my bedroom with it blasting out and I was giving it what for with the moves infront of the mirror when there was a knock at the window, I looked around and the window cleaner was pishing himself laughing. Bet you didn't know it was me that taught Travolta all he knows 

[albitz]

I had similar when I had long hair (any hair  ) playing guitar in front of the mirror, practising my Rory Gallagher moves, thinking I was really  8-).........then spy my little sister looking round the door, laughing her head of at me.

[Banjax]

i was about 18 or 19 getting the train out of glasgow, when i saw spotted an old schoolmate calling me over - sat next to her and chatted away the whole journey about everyone we were at school with together, various parties, stuff folk got up to, teachers, etc - she couldnt remember any of it which i found odd until the next monday at college............thats where i knew her face from - not school. i think she thought i was a bit radio rental from then on.