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[hol666]

Jay, sorry to here your problems, my ex-wife (she divorced me ) and I went through hell when she was diagnosed 7 years ago.  She still isn't well now and that sadly, is unlikely to change.  However, she is entitled depending on a doctors visit, to DLA and also to obtain a blue badge which to anyone who's had dealings with M.E. is a godsend.  
There is some really good info on the web, which I'm sure you've both looked for, some of it can be helpful.  Hope things improve for you both.

[Chopsdad]

In my company, the initial discussion is called a "fact find" and does not form part of the disciplinary process - hence no union or outsider invites.  After the facts are determined, a second meeting is arranged to summarise the findings and outline the way forward - full representation ie unions, colleage etc are invited.  This can and should take place on neutral ground if requested.

Q. If your wife has been off for 6m and may not return for 4-5 years, what is the maxium time they will continue to pay sick and keep her job open?

The outcome of the meeting may be an offer of 6m lump sum pay and not dismissal as you fear.  Only when this is resolved will you be able to seek the appropriate state benefits but either way a doctors note advising she is not able to attend will and must be accepted.  Ask them to send any q's they have by post to be completed when she is up to it, less stress, less hassle and still two way commumication.

[Darth Loo-knee]

I have got to the point where i dont know if i should laugh or cry...........

Over the last yea my wifes health has gone downhill, after many tests and appointments to see specialist or consultants she was diagnosed with a severe case of M.E. she has been told she will not return to work for about 4-5 years!!!!! Possibly never

I run a small training consultancy, nothing too fancy, but it means i travel away from home a hell of a lot, currently i am in Nottingham and will be until the end of November, i go home on weekends, but because the business is still taking off i sometimes have to take jobs like this in order to keep the cash flowing in, it is the only form of income currently and is a fledgling company so it needs a lot of attention, but i feel torn between it and my wife.
My wife has for the last 10 years been employed by a large international telecommuncations company, internally they have a awful reputation for looking after thier staff, so from the moment she went off sick they have been a thorn in our sides, originally it was thought she was on a skive, they would phone her on a regular basis, even thought he doctor had written to the HR dept and requested they dont hassle her. Even now they are still not entirely convinced she is genuine and they dont fully recognise ME as a disability, they have caused untold stress on her constantly reminding her that she should be in work and reminding her that she will be disciplined for non attendance.  
For the last 6 months they have been paying her, she has a health scheme that gives the company the option to continue to pay after the 6 month SSP period, which is now up, however it is discretionary and is subject to the insuance company agreeing. It takes about 2 months to process everything and it can be a lengthy process.
We told them 3 months ago she had been diagnosed with ME all the paperwork has been submitted and is still being discussed, however her work have now said that they want to start disciplinary proceedings as her sickness is unacceptable (she has had sicknotes that take her from the start of her illness right up to date and beyond) they are looking to fire her on the grounds that she has breeched the terms of her contract   that have said that they wil not allow her to have representation at the meeting even though she is a member of a union and given her current condition i know that she will fall apart in the meeting, shre has no energy to argue against them even when she is in the right.

I have been trying to find out what her rights are as someone who has been diagnosed with this illness, even trying to find out if we need to regester as being disabled or even if this illness gives her rights under the DDA, all i come up against is frigging beaurocracy and small minded people who dont seem to want to answer basic questions about the whole process.
One person today treated me like a moron, they were sighing everytime i asked a question   i am asking the question because i dont know the answer, 20 other people may have asked thay question today, but i haven't spoken to them and i am an individual who is asking for thier professional assistance.....

As for the whole benefits thing, dont get me started on that, they wont deal with me beacause of DPA and my wife just donesn't have the energy to deal with these people, mentally she is knackered and she doesn't have the stamina to fight through all the 'dangle berries' in order to get what she deserves.....

This country and this system suck, sorry for my rant and thanks for reading, i hope i havent sent you to sleep

I am very sorry about the trouble your having...

1/ Your Wives place of work should not be phoning and adding to your stress. That is Harassment.
2/ You are entitled to have anyone to accompany you into a counciling or disciplinary.
3/ Get in touch with your Union Headquarters and speak to someone there, (some union reps have know clue, some where I work are in the Bosses pocket if you get my meaning )
4/ Unions have there own solicitors that you have being paying for whilst being a union member so no extra cost.
5/ To sack your Wife in the circumstances I am sure is Unfair Dismissal...

My brother in law about 16 months ago went off on the sick to look after my sister who had problems after giving birth... his work was phoning and stressing him out so I got him to join the union i am in GMB. Since then he has been threatened with the sack and all sorts but the union has been on there case. They (his work) have had to keep a job open for him, they have also paid christmas bonuses to him, and holiday pay he was owed...

It must be hard for you but keep your chin up and don't give in to the inconsiderate Bas****s...
If you do get no joy with the Union which I can't see there is also the Citizens Advise Bureau

 

[smoothomega]

So sorry to hear about your wife. It saddens me to say that the more honest you are the more you suffer these days. I do think this country, as great as it used to be is now on the verge of compleate and utter turmoil. I can see myself joining my brother in oz before long as the rules and rights of individuals over here suck. ooooooooooooooooooo it makes me sooooooo angry  

[Golfbuddy]

Sorry to hear about your troubles Jay. I am the General Manager of a company employing 50 people so not that big but we would never treat any of our people like your wife's company.

I would whole heartedly agree with the suggestion to talk to ACAS. They have trained advisors on their help line who really know their stuff. They are there to help settle disputes before they arise and are truly impartial. The only problem is that they don't always tell you what you want to hear.

I have been on the other end of union intervention and, once again, they do know their stuff so use them, thats what your wife paid her subs for. If all else fails, there is, as others have suggested, the final resort of an employment tribunal. If you need to go down this route do get legal representation. Check all of your insurance policies. I had to take my last employer down this route and I found that I was covered on my house buildings contents of all things. All I had to pay was a £50 excess and I got several thousand pounds of legal representation.

So, in conclusion, do get advice, do use every avenue open to you, do try to remain positive because if you're right you're right and finally don't let the bast@rds get you down.

Good luck to you and Mrs Jay

[Ken T]

Sorry to hear of your plight, I think the guys advice sounds good, esp getting a solicitor. it may cost a bit, but he should know his way around the laws, and be able to put them in their place. If its Orange doing this, then they are about to loose 5 customers. It could be good contacting Watchdog, large companies don't like their name getting mentioned in the press.
Best of luck,
Cheers Ken

[Jay w]

cheers for the advice guys.

I will be speaking to ACAS tomorrow, as well as asking as the union to find out how we move forward.

THey have done a lot of 'fact finding' we have has HR reps come to the house and assess her condition (at our invitation) they admitted that she was not well, they have asked for Dr reports and cosultants reports, all of which confirm her condition, they have had all of that.
The HR dept is nothing more than a glorifies call centre and the people there are targeted on how many people return to work, we have been told this by someone we know who works in a dept that deal with HR closely.

She has medical cover with work that includes private health insurance, should she be off for more than 6 months they will assess her and if she is genuine she will continue to recieve a portion of her salary less any benefits, HR are telling us they are instructing the insurance co NOT to pay up  as she is a cost to the business, she has been there for 10 years, with the exception of being off for maternity she has NEVER had a days sick, her record is exemplory.

Thanks for the good wishes, it is bloody hard going at times, especially when i am away so much, my son helps out a lot and we have some really good friends who look out for her and ensure i am kept informed, i nag her to death on the phone to make sure she is doing what she is told....i think she loves it secretly

I will let you all know how it goes  

[sir moanalot]

sorry to hear about you troubles, get all the harrassement calls switched straight onto ansaphone, so you have the evidence recorded. companies do all of the aforementioned stunts to scare you initially so continue with your own personal proceedings. dla and the benefit system is a shambles and will keep refusing -to save money, my sister has been told on countless occassions she is not entitled to anything and has gone to an independant tribunal and won-backdated payments!
so i know it seems a struggle at the moment but it will be achieved in the end. chin up........