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[Golfbuddy]

Lady Golfbuddy and I have been invited to a Senior NCO's mess dinner next weekend and I was wondering what special etiquette we would need to observe for this kind of occasion.

The dress is full mess kit for the members and black tie for guests. I am not a total stranger to formal dinner occasions but would welcome some advice from anyone with some experience of these affairs.

I believe that it is expected that we don't leave the table once everyone is seated and that touching the breasts of the lady sat to your left is frowned upon but, other than that is there anything else I should be aware of?

[Taxi_Driver]

Farting at the dinner table is probably frowned upon too  

[Andy B]

Lady Golfbuddy and I have been invited to a Senior NCO's mess dinner next weekend and I was wondering what special etiquette we would need to observe for this kind of occasion.

The dress is full mess kit for the members and black tie for guests. I am not a total stranger to formal dinner occasions but would welcome some advice from anyone with some experience of these affairs.

I believe that it is expected that we don't leave the table once everyone is seated and that touching the breasts of the lady sat to your left is frowned upon but, other than that is there anything else I should be aware of?

Pass the port to the left!  

[alan2450]

Depending on which Regiment or Corp, some have seperate etiquette rules:

These will help:
Don't take your pint to the table when called for dinner  
Stand behind your chair until top table arrives, grace normally said then.
Remove your name place card and put in your pocket before it is removed by some rogue  
Don't start eating until everyone is served (unless directed to do so)
These days you normally get a "comfort" break so that the ladies can powder their what ever?
If you don't like port   make sure you have some sort of drink for the toasts.

But the most important thing to remember is:

Have a really good time  

[Golfbuddy]

Depending on which Regiment or Corp, some have seperate etiquette rules:

These will help:
Don't take your pint to the table when called for dinner  
Stand behind your chair until top table arrives, grace normally said then.
Remove your name place card and put in your pocket before it is removed by some rogue  
Don't start eating until everyone is served (unless directed to do so)
These days you normally get a "comfort" break so that the ladies can powder their what ever?
If you don't like port   make sure you have some sort of drink for the toasts.

But the most important thing to remember is:

Have a really good time  

Thanks Alan,

I've heard about this comfort break thing. Very 'pc'  

And I believe that the place card thing is so that 'messages' can't be passed to the top table in your name. Is that right?

[Kevin Wood]

Farting at the dinner table is probably frowned upon too

Thank break I'm not going, then. Not sure what's wrong with me today but...  

Kevin

[Golfbuddy]

Farting at the dinner table is probably frowned upon too

Thank break I'm not going, then. Not sure what's wrong with me today but...  

Kevin

It's an age thing Kevin. And it only starts about a year after you get married. Don't ask why it's just the way it is.  

[alan2450]

Yes, the place card could find its way to the top table, with such pranks as:

Asking to pay for all the port  
Offering to buy everyone a drink  
Offering to sing a song  

The list goes on  

Oh how i miss it  

[Tony H]

Farting at the dinner table is probably frowned upon too

Thank break I'm not going, then. Not sure what's wrong with me today but...  

Kevin

If you stick a meega activated charcoal cabin air intake filter down the back of your trousers  it will prevent them from being smelly

[Chopsdad]

My wife want's to know why you have to read it 75 times :-?

I've had to explain that the bit at the top is is also pronounced RED 75 times and is simply a counter  

Give me strength  

[Golfbuddy]

My wife want's to know why you have to read it 75 times :-?

I've had to explain that the bit at the top is is also pronounced RED 75 times and is simply a counter  

Give me strength  

 

[amigov6]

 :)I believe in certain circles using ketchup to stick the peas to your knife is frowned upon. Also try to refrain from licking your plate clean then shouting " eee that were rather' champion were that" then grabbing the waitress's arse and telling here to fetch you a tinnie!!!!!!!!!
      Some people really need to lighten up! [smiley=2vrolijk_08.gif]

[CaptainZok]

If you do happen to feel the need to break wind, lighting of the nether gasses will almost certainly be a no no too.

[Golfbuddy]

All advice greatfully received. Keep it coming, I may not make a total arse of myself yet. Bit of a blow about the fart lighting though.  

[Kevin Wood]

If you stick a meega activated charcoal cabin air intake filter down the back of your trousers  it will prevent them from being smelly Cheesy

Sound advice noted.  

Kevin