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[Del Boy]

Standing on a plug when you're half asleep.

[Del Boy]

Or actually, sitting on a boll*ck when you get on a bike or jump in the car that little bit too fast. That does give me bad, bad pain 

[Dishevelled Den]

You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth!  Big load of wusses!   

I'll agree with you - furthermore, if I were a female there would be nothing coming out of that area but pee.

[Gaffers]

There are 2 high up on my list:

Being delivered a hospital pass in front of a mean looking forward running toward me at full chat (spent 3 weeks unable to lie down after that); and

Getting full body cramp just 1km in to the 10km run following a long swim a long and difficult bike ride knowing that another 9km of hell are on their way

[SIR Philbutt]

Or actually, sitting on a boll*ck when you get on a bike or jump in the car that little bit too fast. That does give me bad, bad pain 

Defo agree did this yesterday and is still hurting. 

Must add to this toothache. one that lasts for days and will not go even with painkillers. Had one on holiday last year and was actually in tears.

Agree with all the others except ...

You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth!  Big load of wusses!   

Has been already said by someone somewhere .. "It cant be that bad as they would do it again" 

I would not do any of these voluntarily

[Plomien]

Kidney stones, and then removal of the stent afterwards

[millwall]

keep seeing that bus nostalgia post  now that is painful

[the alarming man]

got to agree....will it ever end...aagghh

[Nickbat]

You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth!  Big load of wusses!   

No conception of pain? I'll have you know I've had some really painful paper cuts in my time! 

[albitz]

Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort.

[blackviper90210]

You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth!  Big load of wusses!   

No conception of pain? I'll have you know I've had some really painful paper cuts in my time! 

I don't think I want to know where 

[SIR Philbutt]

Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort.

Is this how they came up with "the only way is essex". most would have just stubbed their toe. which is painful   

Gets my vote for the best one yet but still waiting for Richie and TB might just get beat 

[henryd]

You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth!  Big load of wusses!   

No conception of pain? I'll have you know I've had some really painful paper cuts in my time! 

I don't think I want to know where 

black belt in origami ?

[albitz]

Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort.

Is this how they came up with "the only way is essex". most would have just stubbed their toe. which is painful   

Gets my vote for the best one yet but still waiting for Richie and TB might just get beat 

I have plenty more where that came from.Local hospital spoke of naming a ward after me.Have always been accident prone.
Have been moderately maimed by Omegas three times that I recall.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort.

Medics are masters of understatement!!!    Surgeon once said to me just before an Op ' You're in for a difficult few weeks'... He meant 'You're going to have a few weeks from hell!!!'