Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: MR MISTER on 23 September 2013, 19:25:10
-
I am worried. I am angry. I am frustrated. My wife has come in from work tonight knackered, again. She has slight scoliosis (curvature of the spine) and her back is killing her. As most of you know, she is a headteacher. She leaves home each mornind at 6:45 and is in school for 7:15. She seldom gets home before 6:30 and then she scoffs her tea and gets the laptop out. She manages to fit in a bath of an evening then back on the laptop, closes it down about ten and straight to bed, asleep by five past. Her staff don't seem to 'get it'. They constantly winge and demand things from her which are almost impossible to implement, all in the name of their 'work/life' balance.
She is killing herself but won't admit it and there's absolutely nothing I can do to make her see sense.
Pissed right off. :(
Oh, and forgot to mention, weekends are spent emailing/planning for the week ahead and sleeping with head on laptop.
-
Mines the same. Won't let it go.
It's in her own hands though, in our case. Trouble is, it's now expected.
-
Sorry. A small rant there. :o
-
Does she still love doing the job Steve ? If so,probably not much you can do for the moment. If not,gently try to persuade her of the great benefits of retiring from it early,and perhaps doing something else ?
-
Does she still love doing the job Steve ? If so,probably not much you can do for the moment. If not,gently try to persuade her of the great benefits of retiring from it early,and perhaps doing something else ?
She's only 42, Albs. Nowhere near retirement. I have tried to convince her to take step down, less money but less responsibility. But, apparently, that would be admitting failure.
-
I am worried. I am angry. I am frustrated. My wife has come in from work tonight knackered, again. She has slight scoliosis (curvature of the spine) and her back is killing her. As most of you know, she is a headteacher. She leaves home each mornind at 6:45 and is in school for 7:15. She seldom gets home before 6:30 and then she scoffs her tea and gets the laptop out. She manages to fit in a bath of an evening then back on the laptop, closes it down about ten and straight to bed, asleep by five past. Her staff don't seem to 'get it'. They constantly winge and demand things from her which are almost impossible to implement, all in the name of their 'work/life' balance.
She is killing herself but won't admit it and there's absolutely nothing I can do to make her see sense.
Pissed right off. :(
Oh, and forgot to mention, weekends are spent emailing/planning for the week ahead and sleeping with head on laptop.
dont know what to say really STMO.. you cant help :-\ or may be you can :-\ probably she is too busy to get the picture from outside.. you have to convince her that life is short and nothing is more important than her health.. but I'm not sure she will accept.. :-\
so fast forward the film and tell her a scenario if she looses her health what will happen..
-
Does she still love doing the job Steve ? If so,probably not much you can do for the moment. If not,gently try to persuade her of the great benefits of retiring from it early,and perhaps doing something else ?
She's only 42, Albs. Nowhere near retirement. I have tried to convince her to take step down, less money but less responsibility. But, apparently, that would be admitting failure.
Wrong.. if you think like that , you cant help her :(
-
I am worried. I am angry. I am frustrated. My wife has come in from work tonight knackered, again. She has slight scoliosis (curvature of the spine) and her back is killing her. As most of you know, she is a headteacher. She leaves home each mornind at 6:45 and is in school for 7:15. She seldom gets home before 6:30 and then she scoffs her tea and gets the laptop out. She manages to fit in a bath of an evening then back on the laptop, closes it down about ten and straight to bed, asleep by five past. Her staff don't seem to 'get it'. They constantly winge and demand things from her which are almost impossible to implement, all in the name of their 'work/life' balance.
She is killing herself but won't admit it and there's absolutely nothing I can do to make her see sense.
Pissed right off. :(
Oh, and forgot to mention, weekends are spent emailing/planning for the week ahead and sleeping with head on laptop.
dont know what to say really STMO.. you cant help :-\ or may be you can :-\ probably she is too busy to get the picture from outside.. you have to convince her that life is short and nothing is more important than her health.. but I'm not sure she will accept.. :-\
so fast forward the film and tell her a scenario if she looses her health what will happen..
thats inevitable for everyone.. so forcing yourself till the end is meaningless.. but people generally understand their mistake late :-\
-
Does she still love doing the job Steve ? If so,probably not much you can do for the moment. If not,gently try to persuade her of the great benefits of retiring from it early,and perhaps doing something else ?
She's only 42, Albs. Nowhere near retirement. I have tried to convince her to take step down, less money but less responsibility. But, apparently, that would be admitting failure.
Wrong.. if you think like that , you cant help her :(
There's nothing I can say to her that I haven't already, Cem. I know folk can't really advise....just getting it off my chest.
-
Does she still love doing the job Steve ? If so,probably not much you can do for the moment. If not,gently try to persuade her of the great benefits of retiring from it early,and perhaps doing something else ?
She's only 42, Albs. Nowhere near retirement. I have tried to convince her to take step down, less money but less responsibility. But, apparently, that would be admitting failure.
Failure will the mindset if she stopped because she couldn't do it. She has proved she can do it,but if she then stops because she doesn't want to do it, its not failure imo. I was in a not dissimilar position about 10 years ago. Half way up a managerial ladder that I didn't want to be on. I got off the ladder and haven't regretted it.
Sounds like your silver scouse tonque needs to do some work. ;)
-
Does she still love doing the job Steve ? If so,probably not much you can do for the moment. If not,gently try to persuade her of the great benefits of retiring from it early,and perhaps doing something else ?
She's only 42, Albs. Nowhere near retirement. I have tried to convince her to take step down, less money but less responsibility. But, apparently, that would be admitting failure.
Wrong.. if you think like that , you cant help her :(
1.There's nothing I can say to her that I haven't already, Cem.
2. I know folk can't really advise....
3.just getting it off my chest.
1. probably you didint try your best still :) buy her some roses on a sunday (send me the bill) prepare her a breakfast then with all your seriousness tell her what will happen.. if necessary write it on a paper (work on it) and give in her hand - must be a little long and sign under it..
2. we can
3. thats ok, glad you shared with us..
-
Does she still love doing the job Steve ? If so,probably not much you can do for the moment. If not,gently try to persuade her of the great benefits of retiring from it early,and perhaps doing something else ?
She's only 42, Albs. Nowhere near retirement. I have tried to convince her to take step down, less money but less responsibility. But, apparently, that would be admitting failure.
Failure will the mindset if she stopped because she couldn't do it. She has proved she can do it,but if she then stops because she doesn't want to do it, its not failure imo. I was in a not dissimilar position about 10 years ago. Half way up a managerial ladder that I didn't want to be on. I got off the ladder and haven't regretted it.
Sounds like your silver scouse tonque needs to do some work. ;)
Pardon?
-
Thought you said it was a serious post. ;D..........and btw, wtf is a successful woman in her early 40,s doing with a miserable old coffin dodging shifty scouse git like you ? :P ;D
-
The thing is, she's like an alcoholic before they admit there's a problem. And I am worrying about nothing.
If I get to say 'I told you so', it wont be much consolation.
-
Thought you said it was a serious post. ;D..........and btw, wtf is a successful woman in her early 40,s doing with a miserable old coffin dodging shifty scouse git like you ? :P ;D
Well, you see, it's the size of my.............no, never mind. ;D
-
This problem affects many conscientious workers in positions of management. The solutions is delegation. Now, that seems simple in practice, but can be very difficult indeed, for one of two reasons:
Either
a) There is no-one with the ability to do any parts of the job to the manager's exacting standards, or
b) The manager perceives that there is no-one with the ability to do any parts of the job to his/her exacting standards.
If it's a) then the manager has a short-term problem and needs to focus on this when recruiting/promoting.
If it's b) then the manager needs to have his/her perceptions challenged by giving up certain aspects of his/her duties to an underling on a trial basis, acting as a mentor. In school, this is probably easier than in industry as teachers instinctively want to climb the ladder and can be readily persuaded to see that the acceptance of management duties will enhance their career prospects.
In any event, it's a sign that the manager in question sets very high standards, which is good in itself, but can lead to the problems you outline, Steve.
-
This problem affects many conscientious workers in positions of management. The solutions is delegation. Now, that seems simple in practice, but can be very difficult indeed, for one of two reasons:
Either
a) There is no-one with the ability to do any parts of the job to the manager's exacting standards, or
b) The manager perceives that there is no-one with the ability to do any parts of the job to his/her exacting standards.
If it's a) then the manager has a short-term problem and needs to focus on this when recruiting/promoting.
If it's b) then the manager needs to have his/her perceptions challenged by giving up certain aspects of his/her duties to an underling on a trial basis, acting as a mentor. In school, this is probably easier than in industry as teachers instinctively want to climb the ladder and can be readily persuaded to see that the acceptance of management duties will enhance their career prospects.
In any event, it's a sign that the manager in question sets very high standards, which is good in itself, but can lead to the problems you outline, Steve.
I see your points clearly, Nick, but I don't imagine that she is much different from any other head (Principal now). The job has become a nightmare in the last few years and, when Michael Gove and Michael Wilshere say 'the buck stops with you', they mean it.
-
Steve if she enjoys her job then you can only be there to support her. Obviously an educated woman , when she needs help hopefully she will ask. Having said that she does put up with you so there maybe a flaw in the argument. ;D ;D ;D
-
My wife is exactly the same where she is a primary school teacher, along with her sister who teaches teenagers. Every night during term time they are preparing for the next day / week, taking on extra craft projects. All of the materials for this stuff including what they print out for lessons is at their expense as they get reimbursed for none of it. >:( >:( >:( >:(
On top of that their pay is erratic with them sometimes waiting weeks or even months before they are paid what they are owed. >:( >:( >:( >:(
I've tried telling them they should be a bit more mercenary, but it falls on deaf ears when they don't want to let the children down. Being Ukraine the pay is very poor, but further education is encouraged, my sister-in-law a few years ago did a part time university course to become a qualified maths teacher and my wife is now in the first year of a 2 year part time course to become a qualified English teacher. This involves my wife going to Cherkassy University for 2 weeks every 3 months and she gets the time off school to do this, but she has to pay all of her own expenses.
Every 2 years they have to go on a 3 week teacher training refresher course, the course is free but they have to pay for the transport to Cherkassy, which is about 80 miles away, for their accommodation and meals. They have no choice if they want to carry on teaching.
This seems to be a global problem if you are a conscientious hard working good teacher, but there are plenty of bad teachers that aren't, and in the Ukraine many of whom are corrupt, with pupils bribing them for good results. >:( >:( >:( >:(
On top of this my wife has to look after our 3 years old daughter and with her mum and sister run their smallholding of a 1 acre kitchen garden, a couple of pigs, a goat (for milk), chickens and ducks for eggs and meat, plus they rent several more acres for growing wheat for flour and animal feed. This is why Eastern Europeans work so hard it is a way of life.
When I'm over there I do my fair share of the hard work, which I enjoy where I like to keep fit. :y :y :y :y
-
Steve if she enjoys her job then you can only be there to support her. Obviously an educated woman , when she needs help hopefully she will ask. Having said that she does put up with you so there maybe a flaw in the argument. ;D ;D ;D
I'm over it now, Cleggy. A bit of piss taking support from you lads and it's all good. ;D
-
Hopefully the workload will reduce as the term goes on?
-
As an ex career woman, I recoginse all you state about your wife Steve.
That is what it takes in professional circles to push a career forward and stop it going backwards, especially for women. My contract at the time actually stated I worked the hours it took to run the business. Delegation was vitally important, but when you are a senior manager your responsibilities are large, and it still takes you to make the decisions and give the instruction to ensure P&L accountability.
A teacher nowadays has many targets to meet, many tick boxes to complete, and a headteacher must have that considerably multiplied, with no doubt the added joy of the politics that go with such a position!
The choice is simple. You either go with it, or call it a day. But with me it was the promise of a great pension that I looked forward to (as did my ex) that kept me going, and how that is paying off now! :y :y :y :y
Bare with it Steve, it will only get better - one day! ;) ;) ;) ;)
-
Being a headmistress is a stressful job that would take it's toll on anyone.
...........and then the poor girl has to come home to you.
Life can be a real bitch at times. :) :'( :y
-
As an ex career woman, I recoginse all you state about your wife Steve.
That is what it takes in professional circles to push a career forward and stop it going backwards, especially for women. My contract at the time actually stated I worked the hours it took to run the business. Delegation was vitally important, but when you are a senior manager your responsibilities are large, and it still takes you to make the decisions and give the instruction to ensure P&L accountability.
A teacher nowadays has many targets to meet, many tick boxes to complete, and a headteacher must have that considerably multiplied, with no doubt the added joy of the politics that go with such a position!
The choice is simple. You either go with it, or call it a day. But with me it was the promise of a great pension that I looked forward to (as did my ex) that kept me going, and how that is paying off now! :y :y :y :y
Bare with it Steve, it will only get better - one day! ;) ;) ;) ;)
Write out 1000 times "I must learn to use the words bare and bear in the correct context".
Or, if you prefer, I can come down and give you 6" of the best! ;D
Did I just say that? :-[
-
As an ex career woman, I recoginse all you state about your wife Steve.
That is what it takes in professional circles to push a career forward and stop it going backwards, especially for women. My contract at the time actually stated I worked the hours it took to run the business. Delegation was vitally important, but when you are a senior manager your responsibilities are large, and it still takes you to make the decisions and give the instruction to ensure P&L accountability.
A teacher nowadays has many targets to meet, many tick boxes to complete, and a headteacher must have that considerably multiplied, with no doubt the added joy of the politics that go with such a position!
The choice is simple. You either go with it, or call it a day. But with me it was the promise of a great pension that I looked forward to (as did my ex) that kept me going, and how that is paying off now! :y :y :y :y
Bare with it Steve, it will only get better - one day! ;) ;) ;) ;)
Write out 1000 times "I must learn to use the words bare and bear in the correct context".
Or, if you prefer, I can come down and give you 6" of the best! ;D
Did I just say that? :-[
Yes.
-
As an ex career woman, I recoginse all you state about your wife Steve.
That is what it takes in professional circles to push a career forward and stop it going backwards, especially for women. My contract at the time actually stated I worked the hours it took to run the business. Delegation was vitally important, but when you are a senior manager your responsibilities are large, and it still takes you to make the decisions and give the instruction to ensure P&L accountability.
A teacher nowadays has many targets to meet, many tick boxes to complete, and a headteacher must have that considerably multiplied, with no doubt the added joy of the politics that go with such a position!
The choice is simple. You either go with it, or call it a day. But with me it was the promise of a great pension that I looked forward to (as did my ex) that kept me going, and how that is paying off now! :y :y :y :y
Bare with it Steve, it will only get better - one day! ;) ;) ;) ;)
Write out 1000 times "I must learn to use the words bare and bear in the correct context".
Or, if you prefer, I can come down and give you 6" of the best! ;D
Did I just say that? :-[
Yes.
Well...if I said it.....I guess I can't back out now.. ::)
-
As an ex career woman, I recoginse all you state about your wife Steve.
That is what it takes in professional circles to push a career forward and stop it going backwards, especially for women. My contract at the time actually stated I worked the hours it took to run the business. Delegation was vitally important, but when you are a senior manager your responsibilities are large, and it still takes you to make the decisions and give the instruction to ensure P&L accountability.
A teacher nowadays has many targets to meet, many tick boxes to complete, and a headteacher must have that considerably multiplied, with no doubt the added joy of the politics that go with such a position!
The choice is simple. You either go with it, or call it a day. But with me it was the promise of a great pension that I looked forward to (as did my ex) that kept me going, and how that is paying off now! :y :y :y :y
Bare with it Steve, it will only get better - one day! ;) ;) ;) ;)
A pension substantial enough to keep RB in business, Lizzie. :y :-* :-* :-*
Sigh.......It must be great to be wealthy. :'( :'( :'(
-
As an ex career woman, I recoginse all you state about your wife Steve.
That is what it takes in professional circles to push a career forward and stop it going backwards, especially for women. My contract at the time actually stated I worked the hours it took to run the business. Delegation was vitally important, but when you are a senior manager your responsibilities are large, and it still takes you to make the decisions and give the instruction to ensure P&L accountability.
A teacher nowadays has many targets to meet, many tick boxes to complete, and a headteacher must have that considerably multiplied, with no doubt the added joy of the politics that go with such a position!
The choice is simple. You either go with it, or call it a day. But with me it was the promise of a great pension that I looked forward to (as did my ex) that kept me going, and how that is paying off now! :y :y :y :y
Bare with it Steve, it will only get better - one day! ;) ;) ;) ;)
A pension substantial enough to keep RB in business, Lizzie. :y :-* :-* :-*
Sigh.......It must be great to be wealthy. :'( :'( :'(
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
-
Wifey came home tonight clutching a local newspaper with a two page feature on her school. The reviews were glowing so I guess I'd better shut up :-X
-
Wifey came home tonight clutching a local newspaper with a two page feature on her school. The reviews were glowing so I guess I'd better shut up :-X
Result....... :y :y
Oh and well done Mrs STEMO