Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: MR MISTER on 11 October 2013, 19:42:25
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......or should I see a doctor?
I've noticed that I am having a spot of bother controlling my bottie burps recently. Quite often, when I cough, I fart. If I burst out laughing, I fart. If I bend down to pick something up, I fart.
It's ok, I guess, everyone farts. It's the involuntary bit that bothers me.
I was out walking my dog earlier and met a nice old lady walking hers. My dog gets tired after a while and, being a spoilt bastard, expects me to pick her up and carry her for a little while. I bent down to pick her up and, as I rose, a grandaddy escaped from my arsehole. Little old lady didn't say anything but squirmed a bit. I felt quite bad for her but, of course, couldn't say anything. I don't know which of us was most embarrased. I know her husband too and I just know she will tell him. " I met that fella with the westie tonight and the dirty bastard nearly shat himself."
Is it normal?
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Just blame the dog or ....
These mite help ;D
(http://johnnyjet.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/product-lg-300x266.jpg)
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Just blame the dog or ....
These mite help ;D
(http://johnnyjet.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/product-lg-300x266.jpg)
They might help with the smell, but I don't see a silencer. :-\
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Just blame the dog or ....
These mite help ;D
(http://johnnyjet.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/product-lg-300x266.jpg)
only get genuine parts--patern ones are---er----well -----pants ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Have a look here :y
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/incontinence/Pages/Incontinenceproducts.aspx (http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/incontinence/Pages/Incontinenceproducts.aspx)
Might also help with slippage spillage (always confuse those two ::))
:y
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Thanks guys. This is a really great forum.
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Here to help :-*
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Did you ever send off that poop testing kit? ::)
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Did you ever send off that poop testing kit? ::)
Yep. All clear.
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According to Lord Ashton the Conservative Party chairman, just don't use this bad combination of tablets: Laxatives and sleeping pills. ::) :o ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Don't worry, its only a problem when you follow through and shit the bed ;)
Oh hang on you ............. :-X :-X :-X ;D
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Look on the bright side, at least, this time, Mrs STEMO doesn't have to lovingly hand wash your usually heavily soiled smalls.
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Look on the bright side, at least, this time, Mrs STEMO doesn't have to lovingly hand wash your usually heavily soiled smalls.
Mrs STEMO is a bit like you. She wouldn't know to turn the washing machine on.
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Look on the bright side, at least, this time, Mrs STEMO doesn't have to lovingly hand wash your usually heavily soiled smalls.
Mrs STEMO is a bit like you. She wouldn't know to turn the washing machine on.
That's probably just as well. You at least get to keep a shred of dignity by washing your own shitty smalls and sheets! ::) :)
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Look on the bright side, at least, this time, Mrs STEMO doesn't have to lovingly hand wash your usually heavily soiled smalls.
Mrs STEMO is a bit like you. She wouldn't know to turn the washing machine on.
That's probably just as well. You at least get to keep a shred of dignity by washing your own shitty smalls and sheets! ::) :)
Dignity? I've got a fourteen year old lad, his mars bars are a sight to behold. ;D
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Somebody me and some friends knew who had the same problem, we nick named Peter Puffer. ;D ;D ;D Now what can we call you: _______ Steve? :P ;D ;D ;D
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Somebody me and some friends knew who had the same problem, we nick named Peter Puffer. ;D ;D ;D Now what can we call you: _______ Steve? :P ;D ;D ;D
Ermmmmm....I could say 'stinky' but that wouldn't be very nice of you. ;D
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Somebody me and some friends knew who had the same problem, we nick named Peter Puffer. ;D ;D ;D Now what can we call you: _______ Steve? :P ;D ;D ;D
35 years ago, on a childhood holiday, I recall Peter (who was 6 months old) being called 'Peter Pops' due to the prodigious quantity of botty burps that he produced ;D ;D (might not be the same peter)
French => English translation (Principal Translations/Principales traductions)
péter⇒ (émettre un gaz naturel)
colloquial fart
formal pass wind, break wind
slang drop one, blow off
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Somebody me and some friends knew who had the same problem, we nick named Peter Puffer. ;D ;D ;D Now what can we call you: _______ Steve? :P ;D ;D ;D
35 years ago, on a childhood holiday, I recall Peter (who was 6 months old) being called 'Peter Pops' due to the prodigious quantity of botty burps that he produced ;D ;D (might not be the same peter)
French => English translation (Principal Translations/Principales traductions)
péter⇒ (émettre un gaz naturel)
colloquial fart
formal pass wind, break wind
slang drop one, blow off
I met Peter and his wife, where they lived in France and used to keep an eye on my house there and let the electric and water meter men in to read them.
Sadly, Peter died about about 10 years ago in his early 70's from cancer.
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Somebody me and some friends knew who had the same problem, we nick named Peter Puffer. ;D ;D ;D Now what can we call you: _______ Steve? :P ;D ;D ;D
fEsta. I thought we had this already :)
But no, it's not an age thing. Ime its a diet thing. I had steak and chips last night, but this time with onions.
While working on Lazytinkers car yesterday, undoing every bolt was accompanied by an audible warning. The warning "level" was directly proportionate to the tightness and seizure level of the bolt.
So given that poxy car fought us at EVERY single turn yesterday, including the rear lower shock mount that needed maximum force to undo at EVERY turn of a 300nm torque wrench (for leverage) I would like to make it clear to the owner that it was not the bolt that was squeaking at every turn, but my hairy arse! And the tantrum that followed was nothing to do with taking 20mins to undo one poxy bolt, but more to do with blasting a hole in my brand new pants. ;D
Bloody onions, in my case. ::)
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But as your a practicing homosexual, is there any surprise you've lost control? ;D
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But as your a practicing homosexual, is there any surprise you've lost control? ;D
Practice makes perfect. ;)
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But as your a practicing homosexual, is there any surprise you've lost control? ;D
Practice makes perfect. ;)
Damn. Should have said raging.... ;D
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Don,t worry mate, it,s not an age thing, iv,e been like it for most of my life. Wife does complain about the smell
sometimes but i just blame her cooking. ;)
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Don,t worry mate, it,s not an age thing, iv,e been like it for most of my life. Wife does complain about the smell
sometimes but i just blame her cooking. ;)
;D ;D ;D
Have you noticed how pets look at you when strange noises come from beneath you ;D
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Don,t worry mate, it,s not an age thing, iv,e been like it for most of my life. Wife does complain about the smell
sometimes but i just blame her cooking. ;)
;D ;D ;D
Have you noticed how pets look at you when strange noises come from beneath you ;D
Just had a flashback to an image of one of my dogs letting rip, jumping to her feet and then staring intently at her own backside for a few moments before turning to me and giving me a look as if it was my fault. ;D ;D ;D