Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: chrisgixer on 06 June 2014, 01:37:52
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Post your ailments here, and for a small fee, myself and my fellow Drs shall endeavour to prescribe treatment. Of course there are no guarantees, except for the (*COUGH*large*COUGH*) modest bill and a long wait, but we can
send you round the house refer you to our network of similar minded professionals should there be, well, let's see shall we? :)
What's that? "Credentials?" you say. Well, I'm self trained of course, with years of hands on experience and access to the internet. So anything is possible.
Now then. "NEXT"... :)
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30 views and no patients. Come on don't be shy. Dr/patient confidentiality is top priority here. :)
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It seems the rumours are true. People are scared of the 'doctor.'
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Can you add me to the list of consultants, please; I have MANY years of experience in breast examination and in suitable cases I would be prepared to waive my fee.....
Ron. (Doctor Emeritus).
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I have my rubber gloves on. Please form an orderly queue. Thank you.
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My wee smells like popcorn ..please diagnose Dr
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My wee smells like popcorn ..please diagnose Dr
Easy. You have a problem with your nose. ;D
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My wee smells like popcorn ..please diagnose Dr
Too much coffee. :)
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My wee smells like popcorn ..please diagnose Dr
Too much coffee. :)
Doctors shouldn't be relying on google for a diagnosis. I'm beginning to lose faith in you.
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As always Dr Esta, I limit my diags to first hand experience.
My wee smells of popcorn, or sugar puffs ime, when I've had a lot of strong coffee. Especially after a night on the tiles.
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30 views and no patients. Come on don't be shy. Dr/patient confidentiality is top priority here. :)
Well ok, as you guarantee confidentiality
. . . . . . about my rectal prolapse . . .
PS: Any free PDE5 inhibitors available please ?
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30 views and no patients. Come on don't be shy. Dr/patient confidentiality is top priority here. :)
Well ok, as you guarantee confidentiality
. . . . . . about my rectal prolapse . . .
PS: Any free PDE5 inhibitors available please ?
That's definitely Dr Estas area. I'll see to the paperwork and his office will be in content in due course.
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30 views and no patients. Come on don't be shy. Dr/patient confidentiality is top priority here. :)
Well ok, as you guarantee confidentiality
. . . . . . about my rectal prolapse . . .
PS: Any free PDE5 inhibitors available please ?
That's definitely Dr Estas area. I'll see to the paperwork and his office will be in content in due course.
You don't understand, I want someone to fix the problem, not cause it ???
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Can I book a telephone appointment for 3 weeks next Thursday please?
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30 views and no patients. Come on don't be shy. Dr/patient confidentiality is top priority here. :)
Well ok, as you guarantee confidentiality
. . . . . . about my rectal prolapse . . .
PS: Any free PDE5 inhibitors available please ?
That's definitely Dr Estas area. I'll see to the paperwork and his office will be in content in due course.
Oh yes. I'll definitely be content in due course. ;D
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Is your Surgery in Reading?
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Not Reading.
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...and make sure you get the right day for appointments. >:(
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I have my rubber gloves on. Please form an orderly queue. Thank you.
who you plan to finger first ;D ;D ;D :y
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Has our resident Dr cem(tinterweb) been sacked for mal practice..
and if your surgery is not in Reading it must be in Slough :)
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I'm depressed. :( What should I do? :-\
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Doctors,
There apears to be a problem, not with me but some people on a thing called the internet, specifically a corner of the internet known as OOF.
For some difficult to understand reason a few people seem to think they are some kind of Lord or doctor without any kind of custrad test proof of a qualification
It seems to relate to council house dwellers in a popular suberb of London called Reading and a belief that a house with a 30ft garden is a country manor, these people also own or indeed have owned a heavy, average, at best, performance car designed in the 90's that breaks down alot.
A few suggestions of Oedipus complex and small willy syndrome have yet to be formally linked with the behaviour as does the obsession with sleeping with other owners of said vehicle, but there is a direct link between the car they drive and Schrodlinger's cat ( is the car alive or dead?), hopefully with your combined doctorial knowledge you can come up with a reason and cure for this strange behaviour.
We live in hope
:-)
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No chance ;D
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I'm depressed. :( What should I do? :-\
Jump.
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I'm depressed. :( What should I do? :-\
Jump.
Up and down I mean. Exercise is good for depression. Although I got this from the internet as I have no experience of depression. :)
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I'm depressed. :( What should I do? :-\
Jump.
Up and down I mean. Exercise is good for depression. Although I got this from the internet as I have no experience of depression. :)
Thanks Doc!! :y I wonder if I can get Dr Opti to refer me to his sister in law for some therapeutic jumping sessions? :-\ ::)
Ooo and maybe some little blue pills from the OOF Apothecary Shop? Just to give me a little extra jump! :)
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Tiggers can bounce without the help of pills, everyone knows that.
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Tiggers can bounce without the help of pills, everyone knows that.
That's true Dr, but a little extra bounce never hurt anyone! :y
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Am I paranoid, where I try to avoid doctors, by the simple expedient of not being ill, but everytime I go on OOF to read about cars, how to fix Omegas and an area for irrelevant discussions about irrelevant things, there seems to be more and more
quacks doctors lurking around the website.
Should I ignore or join them? ???
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If you can't beat them.... ::)
I decided that I'm not depressed after all, but horribly hungover! :( Jumping around as per Dr Gixer's advice just gave me a savage headache! ::) Forgot that I was out on the razzle last night.... :P ;D
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I'm depressed. :( What should I do? :-\
Jump.
Up and down I mean. Exercise is good for depression. Although I got this from the internet as I have no experience of depression. :)
Thanks Doc!! :y I wonder if I can get Dr Opti to refer me to his sister in law for some therapeutic jumping sessions? :-\ ::)
Ooo and maybe some little blue pills from the OOF Apothecary Shop? Just to give me a little extra jump! :)
Sorry, Sir Tig....but at your age the lady in question may prove too much for you, :)
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seems like alot of new drs have emerged from somewhere lord knows where though but laughter is a great healer so im told dr gixer you got to help me im talking sh1t again please help!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :P :P :P
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Sorry, Sir Tig....but at your age the lady in question may prove too much for you, :)
Do or die Dr Opti!! :y :y :y But I'm hardly a geriatric I'll have you know! ::) ;D
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My wee smells like popcorn ..please diagnose Dr
Too much coffee. :)
I don't drink coffee........... you're a fraud aren't you....and come to think of it how did you manage to put my piles back in, I remember you having both hands on my shoulders :o :o :o :o :'( :'( :'( :'(
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My wee smells like popcorn ..please diagnose Dr
Too much coffee. :)
I don't drink coffee........... you're a fraud aren't you....and come to think of it how did you manage to put my piles back in, I remember you having both hands on my shoulders :o :o :o :o :'( :'( :'( :'(
That's his party trick. Done it loads of times. Ouch. :(
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I feel violated :(
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My wee smells like popcorn ..please diagnose Dr
Too much coffee. :)
I don't drink coffee........... you're a fraud aren't you....and come to think of it how did you manage to put my piles back in, I remember you having both hands on my shoulders :o :o :o :o :'( :'( :'( :'(
That's his party trick. Done it loads of times. Ouch. :(
He has you and I mixed up Esta. ::)
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As the only certified doctor here,i think your all f.u.c.k.i.n.g mad ;D
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There are two cures for most people... fornication and consumption. The exact dosage of either depends on the specific problem, and both generally involve chocolate and beer :y Failing that, there's always tissues :-X
And as the only Doctor in Scotland, I am totally impartial to all your English ailments, in so far as I really could give a bottle of Glen Morangie either way :-*
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As always Dr Esta, I limit my diags to first hand experience.
My wee smells of popcorn, or sugar puffs ime, when I've had a lot of strong coffee. Especially after a night on the tiles.
:y