Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: biggriffin on 09 April 2017, 11:10:32

Title: for the older OOF'er
Post by: biggriffin on 09 April 2017, 11:10:32
Is this the most expensive bog "in the world"

https://www.victorianplumbing.co.uk/geberit-aquaclean-8000-plus-wall-hung-shower-wc-soft-close-seat?campaign=googlebase&gclid=COqjob6Ql9MCFUSVGwodewwJ8A

Shame it doesn't make tea to  :D

Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 09 April 2017, 11:16:44
" ....... the evenly oscillating spray and the pulsating massage function will increase your sense of well-being even further. "   :D  ;D

Just what Uncle STEMO needs first thing in the morning!  :y
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 09 April 2017, 11:25:41
Toilet......luxury.

I can only afford to crap in a bucket. And as for bog roll I use the Daily Mail.
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 09 April 2017, 11:34:40
" ....... the evenly oscillating spray and the pulsating massage function will increase your sense of well-being even further. "   :D  ;D

Just what Uncle STEMO needs first thing in the morning!  :y

By this time it is already too late. :(
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: powerslinky on 09 April 2017, 11:52:22
Toilet......luxury.

I can only afford to crap in a bucket. And as for bog roll I use the Daily Mail.
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Glad someone has found a use for it  ::) ::)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Mister Rog on 09 April 2017, 12:08:43


Not sure if it would deal with a good "pebble dash" after an excessively hot curry  ::)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 09 April 2017, 12:47:05
Toilet......luxury.

I can only afford to crap in a bucket. And as for bog roll I use the Daily Mail.

What's an old commie like you doing buying the Daily Mail?  :-\  Surely you meant the Morning Star?  :)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 09 April 2017, 13:09:41
Toilet......luxury.

I can only afford to crap in a bucket. And as for bog roll I use the Daily Mail.

What's an old commie like you doing buying the Daily Mail?  :-\  Surely you meant the Morning Star?  :)

Buy it.....certainly not. :(

Use it to wipe my arse.....certainly would. :y
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 09 April 2017, 13:11:39
Toilet......luxury.

I can only afford to crap in a bucket. And as for bog roll I use the Daily Mail.

What's an old commie like you doing buying the Daily Mail?  :-\  Surely you meant the Morning Star?  :)

The Socialist Worker makes a good read. Plenty about Mr Corbyn. :)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: biggriffin on 09 April 2017, 13:38:27
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 09 April 2017, 13:58:20
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: biggriffin on 09 April 2017, 15:00:54
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D


Only the members in the oof, home for the be-fuddled
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 09 April 2017, 15:10:31
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D


Only the members in the oof, home for the be-fuddled

Sounds good!  :)  How do you get in there then?  ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Mister Rog on 09 April 2017, 16:49:16
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !

Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 09 April 2017, 17:09:08
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !


I give a full-breasted 19 year old scullery maid a nice crisp fifty for services rendered.  :y

This works out at far more than minimum wage. :)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Nick W on 09 April 2017, 18:09:55
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !


I give a full-breasted 19 year old scullery maid a nice crisp fifty for services rendered.  :y

This works out at far more than minimum wage. :)


Too right, it's about £600 an hour ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Kevin Wood on 09 April 2017, 18:44:54
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !


I give a full-breasted 19 year old scullery maid a nice crisp fifty for services rendered.  :y

This works out at far more than minimum wage. :)


Too right, it's about £600 an hour ;D

Cheeky cow! Fancy charging for the cigarette afterwards! ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Mister Rog on 09 April 2017, 22:49:17
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !


I give a full-breasted 19 year old scullery maid a nice crisp fifty for services rendered.  :y

This works out at far more than minimum wage. :)

I wouldn't want anyone cleaning my arse for me, at any price, even with £10 notes  :o

Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 09 April 2017, 23:37:01
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !

I'd imagine the new plastic fiver's aren't very absorbent to be honest.  :-\   ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 09 April 2017, 23:37:49
Apparently they stain too :o
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 09 April 2017, 23:41:12
Apparently they smear too :o

 ::)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: ronnyd on 10 April 2017, 00:18:37
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !

I'd imagine the new plastic fiver's aren't very absorbent to be honest.  :-\   ;D
Bit like the old Izal stuff then. ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: STEMO on 10 April 2017, 12:08:25
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !


I give a full-breasted 19 year old scullery maid a nice crisp fifty for services rendered.  :y

This works out at far more than minimum wage. :)

I wouldn't want anyone cleaning my arse for me, at any price, even with £10 notes  :o
Well, Rog, you'd better not get old and infirm then.  ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Viral_Jim on 10 April 2017, 12:51:57
I had something very similar in my hotel room in China last year (the toilet sadly, not the young lady!).

I was too bloody terrified to go near it!

(http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c170/jimmy944/006CF293-35A9-4642-85BA-949BB7B1FD1E.jpg) (http://s27.photobucket.com/user/jimmy944/media/006CF293-35A9-4642-85BA-949BB7B1FD1E.jpg.html)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 10 April 2017, 13:20:05
Well, this thread proves that 'adult discussion' is not beyond us. ;)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: STEMO on 10 April 2017, 14:49:54
I had something very similar in my hotel room in China last year (the toilet sadly, not the young lady!).

I was too bloody terrified to go near it!

(http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c170/jimmy944/006CF293-35A9-4642-85BA-949BB7B1FD1E.jpg) (http://s27.photobucket.com/user/jimmy944/media/006CF293-35A9-4642-85BA-949BB7B1FD1E.jpg.html)
I like the look of the 'water/wind' button, I'd have had to give that a go.  ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 10 April 2017, 16:39:14
That's not a function, its a measurement which displays using the Beaufort scale
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: tunnie on 10 April 2017, 16:49:27
I had something very similar in my hotel room in China last year (the toilet sadly, not the young lady!).

I was too bloody terrified to go near it!
I like the look of the 'water/wind' button, I'd have had to give that a go.  ;D

I was in Japan number of years ago, same thing on toilets there. Mate had a go on one, all you could hear was shouts, laughs and chuckling going  ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: TheBoy on 10 April 2017, 17:17:16
I had something very similar in my hotel room in China last year (the toilet sadly, not the young lady!).

I was too bloody terrified to go near it!
I like the look of the 'water/wind' button, I'd have had to give that a go.  ;D

I was in Japan number of years ago, same thing on toilets there. Mate had a go on one, all you could hear was shouts, laughs and chuckling going  ;D
Clearly he was excited by strange sensations up his arse.  Did you get very drunk, and feel loose at any point there?
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: aaronjb on 10 April 2017, 17:23:22
Clearly he was excited by strange sensations up his arse.  Did you get very drunk, and feel loose at any point there?

Couple of years ago there was an email from HR at work warning us not to visit certain bars in Roppongi lest you wake up some time later in your hotel room with no recollection of what happened, missing several thousand dollars from your corporate Amex.. apparently that was because an employee had allowed a "lady in a bar" to buy him a drink and, next thing he knew..
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: TheBoy on 10 April 2017, 17:36:03
Clearly he was excited by strange sensations up his arse.  Did you get very drunk, and feel loose at any point there?

Couple of years ago there was an email from HR at work warning us not to visit certain bars in Roppongi lest you wake up some time later in your hotel room with no recollection of what happened, missing several thousand dollars from your corporate Amex.. apparently that was because an employee had allowed a "lady in a bar" to buy him a drink and, next thing he knew..
;D

Though its one thing having your corporate card whacked, to having your arse violated if you're not that way inclined :P
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 10 April 2017, 17:37:35
Here's a cheaper version if any of you fellas like the idea of a massaging warm jet of water on your ring piece!  :y

Clever Bog Linky (http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-Wall-Hung-Toilet-Electric-Bidet-Toilet-Seat-Washlet-Toilet-Kit-Ceramic-White/121612288124?_trksid=p2047675.c100005.m1851&_trkparms=aid%3D222007%26algo%3DSIC.MBE%26ao%3D2%26asc%3D40656%26meid%3D49570ea1d9f04e5b9aa96cf02114d47b%26pid%3D100005%26rk%3D3%26rkt%3D6%26mehot%3Dag%26sd%3D132102292180)
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Viral_Jim on 10 April 2017, 22:29:10
Hmm, to be honest, if it involves water, electricity and my nether regions, quality, not price would be the driving factor in my choice of product!  ;D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: STEMO on 11 April 2017, 11:39:54
Hmm, to be honest, if it involves water, electricity and my nether regions, quality, not price would be the driving factor in my choice of product!  ;D
You'd have to make sure you fixed it to a solid wall too. Most of the new builds they throw up now wouldn't support the weight of the magic bog and a big, fat-arsed curry wallah as well.
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Rods2 on 11 April 2017, 13:47:07
Our lord opti, has a lady to attend to his cleansing's requirements,after using the privvy

Doesn't everyone? ;) :D

Does she still use fivers, or has he moved on to tenners !


I give a full-breasted 19 year old scullery maid a nice crisp fifty for services rendered.  :y

This works out at far more than minimum wage. :)

I'm sure she earns every penny m'lud. With a wire brush and a gallon of Detol. ::) ::) ::)

Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Tony H on 15 April 2017, 16:33:05
Just read the spec on that toilet pretty impressive especially the "lady wash function ::)" as the place that sells these is only half a mile from me I may just pop over there and buy one.  ;)   
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: biggriffin on 15 April 2017, 16:42:00
Just read the spec on that toilet pretty impressive especially the "lady wash function ::)" as the place that sells these is only half a mile from me I may just pop over there and buy one.  ;)


Can you try before you buy.  :D
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Lincs Robert on 15 April 2017, 18:14:16
These are very popular in South Korea, hotel I was in had one. Not altogether an unpleasant experience  :o
Title: Re: for the older OOF'er
Post by: Tony H on 15 April 2017, 19:31:35
Just read the spec on that toilet pretty impressive especially the "lady wash function ::)" as the place that sells these is only half a mile from me I may just pop over there and buy one.  ;)


Can you try before you buy.  :D

I can always ask!  :) ;D