Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: STEMO on 27 February 2018, 21:23:47

Title: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 27 February 2018, 21:23:47
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 27 February 2018, 22:33:08
I bet you were steaming!  :P
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: ronnyd on 27 February 2018, 22:39:19
It,s an age thing. ::)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: aaronjb on 28 February 2018, 08:45:15
I think it's time to check yourself into assisted living, you're clearly a danger to yourself and others at this point... :P
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Migv6 le Frog Fan on 28 February 2018, 08:50:00
I think it's time to check yourself into Dignitas, you're clearly a danger to yourself and others at this point... :P

Bit strong.  :o................probably right though. :y
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: aaronjb on 28 February 2018, 08:54:23
He knows I'm only teasing.


.. Or am I.
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Gaffers on 28 February 2018, 09:20:20
I don't know which is worse; doing what you did, or admitting to it :D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Kevin Wood on 28 February 2018, 09:38:17
Need to get yourself an induction hob. Ideal for the infirm. :y

Dignitas isn't a bad idea either, mind. ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Varche on 28 February 2018, 09:40:58
I think it's time to check yourself into assisted living, you're clearly a danger to yourself and others at this point... :P

Spot on. If it was an isolated incident then no problem. I am wondering if there is actually a wifey and if he has actually been taking his meds.
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 28 February 2018, 11:03:21
I waited till it set and it came off in a nice frisbee shape. Really good at repelling stuff these ceramic hobs.  :y
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 28 February 2018, 11:08:05
And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody.  :P
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 28 February 2018, 11:16:25
And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody.  :P

Welcome to my world STEMO!  The clock is ticking down, but I'm first to that nice cosy chair in the lounge, that's if it still exists when we finally get there!! ::) ::) ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Kevin Wood on 28 February 2018, 11:28:18
Cosy chair? That'll be an extra £500 a week, please! ::)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: aaronjb on 28 February 2018, 11:30:03
Cosy chair? That'll be an extra £500 a week, please! ::)

Fixed..
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 28 February 2018, 11:38:24
Cosy chair? That'll be an extra £500 a week, please! ::)

Fixed..

Yep, that is the way it is all going unless you have a spare £1 million in the bank when we are 75 ::) ::) :P
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Migv6 le Frog Fan on 28 February 2018, 12:25:46
And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody.  :P

Welcome to my world STEMO!  The clock is ticking down, but I'm first to that nice cosy chair by the sunny window, with a bit of potato stuck to my chin ::) ::) ;D ;D ;)

Sounds idyllic.  :D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 28 February 2018, 13:17:38
And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody.  :P

Welcome to my world STEMO!  The clock is ticking down, but I'm first to that nice cosy chair by the sunny window, with a bit of potato stuck to my chin ::) ::) ;D ;D ;)

Sounds idyllic.  :D

What, the sing song and holding hands sessions, along with mushy, easily eaten food and old folk social politics?  I can't wait!!! ::) ::) ::) :o ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: aaronjb on 28 February 2018, 13:25:00
Apparently those places are like one big swingers club.. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/older-people-stis-sexually-transmitted-infections-50-to-70-chief-medical-officer-report-dame-sally-a7463861.html
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 February 2018, 13:55:49
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 February 2018, 13:58:19
And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody.  :P

Welcome to my world STEMO!  The clock is ticking down, but I'm first to that nice cosy chair in the lounge, that's if it still exists when we finally get there!! ::) ::) ;D ;D ;)

It will almost certainly smell of 'leaked urine' :-\

Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Varche on 28 February 2018, 14:01:09
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)

I bet it is served on silver salvers at a table so long you need field glasses to see Mrs Opti at the other end. ;D ;D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 28 February 2018, 14:56:16
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)

I bet it is served on silver salvers at a table so long you need field glasses to see Mrs Opti at the other end. ;D ;D
He looks through the wrong end so she appears further away  ;D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 February 2018, 16:09:52
And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody.  :P

Yes it can.

But if it happens on a regular basis get it checked out (if you can 'remember' that it happens on a regular basis) ::)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 28 February 2018, 16:44:24
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti? :D :D ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 February 2018, 16:49:41
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti? :D :D ;)

I'm barely out of my teens, Lizzie. :) :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 28 February 2018, 16:55:25
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti? :D :D ;)

I'm barely out of my teens, Lizzie. :) :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

 ;D ;D ;D ;D  I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 February 2018, 17:09:28
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti? :D :D ;)

I'm barely out of my teens, Lizzie. :) :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

 ;D ;D ;D ;D  I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)

Ah.....a case of men running the world and making important decisions while the women are left to discuss the more mundane aspects of life in another room. Perhaps enjoying a little knitting. :) :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: BazaJT on 28 February 2018, 17:21:37
Does kind of beg the question why you're putting an electric kettle on the hob in the first place? Not being one of the "refined" society it's always been breakfast,dinner,tea and supper for me :y Gravel sandwiches without the bread ::) and first up best dressed :D :D ;D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 28 February 2018, 17:49:32
Does kind of beg the question why you're putting an electric kettle on the hob in the first place? Not being one of the "refined" society it's always been breakfast,dinner,tea and supper for me :y Gravel sandwiches without the bread ::) and first up best dressed :D :D ;D
Ermm......let me see........accidentally?  ::)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: TheBoy on 28 February 2018, 17:52:06
Would you rather have shat yourself?
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Kevin Wood on 28 February 2018, 17:56:01
Would you rather have shat yourself?
Did he say he hasn't? :-\
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 28 February 2018, 17:58:10
Would you rather have shat yourself?
Every time  ;D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Migv6 le Frog Fan on 28 February 2018, 18:03:18
That warm familiar comforting feeling.  ::)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 28 February 2018, 18:05:38
Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock. ;D

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :P

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea. :)

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti? :D :D ;)

I'm barely out of my teens, Lizzie. :) :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

 ;D ;D ;D ;D  I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)

Ah.....a case of men running the world and making important decisions while the women are left to discuss the more mundane aspects of life in another room. Perhaps enjoying a little knitting. :) :-* :-* :-*

Or rather the stronger women planning how they were going to manipulate "their men" into making correct decisions! ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 28 February 2018, 21:56:01

I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)

What Lord Opti got up to with his aristocratic chums in his youth is best left in those pre war the Drawing Rooms Lizzie!  ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 01 March 2018, 09:39:54

I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)

What Lord Opti got up to with his aristocratic chums in his youth is best left in those pre war the Drawing Rooms Lizzie!  ;)

That is where us ladies would be withdrawn to, so we would not welcome men there once they went to the library as we would discuss womanly subjects.  Mind you, goodness knows what Lord Opti would have got up to in those days Sir Tigger!! :o :o :o ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 11:16:00

I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)

What Lord Opti got up to with his aristocratic chums in his youth is best left in those pre war the Drawing Rooms Lizzie!  ;)

That is where us ladies would be withdrawn to, so we would not welcome men there once they went to the library as we would discuss womanly subjects.  Mind you, goodness knows what Lord Opti would have got up to in those days Sir Tigger!! :o :o :o ;D ;D ;)
[/highlight]


Much the same as today, Lizzie................a likeable rogue. :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 01 March 2018, 11:38:04

I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)

What Lord Opti got up to with his aristocratic chums in his youth is best left in those pre war the Drawing Rooms Lizzie!  ;)

That is where us ladies would be withdrawn to, so we would not welcome men there once they went to the library as we would discuss womanly subjects.  Mind you, goodness knows what Lord Opti would have got up to in those days Sir Tigger!! :o :o :o ;D ;D ;)
[/highlight]


Much the same as today, Lizzie................a likeable rogue. :-* :-* :-* :-*

I'm sure about that Lord Opti! :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 01 March 2018, 12:23:18
D'yer mind, you two love birds, this thread is about me being senile.
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 12:30:06
D'yer mind, you two love birds, this thread is about me being senile.

Yes. Sorry. Make an appointment to see the quack...... try not to forget. :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 12:31:41
Reminder for STMO  to make an appointment to see the doctor about his poor memory. :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 12:32:40
Would a 'reminder' every 30 minutes suffice? :)

Hmmm.....it's possible he could go wandering into town and get lost.

Best make it every 15 minutes. :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 12:40:15
A lot of old people tend to 'wander'
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Viral_Jim on 01 March 2018, 13:18:09
A lot of old people tend to 'wander'

But given the social care funding crisis, and the timely inclement weather, should we really be discouraging this? Surely the socially responsible thing to do would be to let nature take its course...  :D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 13:46:32
A lot of old people tend to 'wander'

But given the social care funding crisis, and the timely inclement weather, should we really be discouraging this? Surely the socially responsible thing to do would be to let nature take its course...  :D


Good point, Jimmy..... a week from now he could be found dead next to a frozen whippet encased in a block of ice. :)

Think how much that would save the taxpayer. :y
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Viral_Jim on 01 March 2018, 13:47:39
Its the way he would have wanted to go!
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 13:49:42
Its the way he would have wanted to go!

Yes. Totally selfless like all scousers. :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 01 March 2018, 13:50:45
What were we talking about again? ;D
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 13:51:11
So....he won't be needing his car then. :)

Shame to let it go to waste.
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 13:51:50
What were we talking about again? ;D

Your imminent demise. :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: STEMO on 01 March 2018, 13:55:07
Just got back from a walk with my whippet westie. The wind is starting to get a bit...erm.....bracing. Was up at 5:20 this morning brushing the snow off wifey's car, so I could really do with my nap about now.
Sorry, Opti and Jimmy, but I am fit as a fiddle and will be annoying you for years yet.  :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 March 2018, 14:18:19
Just got back from a walk with my [s]whippet[/s] westie. The wind is starting to get a bit...erm.....bracing. Was up at 5:20 this morning brushing the snow off wifey's car, so I could really do with my nap about now.
Sorry, Opti and Jimmy, but I am fit as a fiddle and will be annoying you for years yet.  :)

The cracks are showing......unsure which breed of mutt you own is a sure sign 'the little grey cells' are doing a runner. :)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: ronnyd on 01 March 2018, 16:32:40
A lot of old people tend to 'wander'
Like you are now you mean. ;)
Title: Re: F**k f**k and triple f**k!
Post by: Rods2 on 02 March 2018, 00:03:07
Where he is on his last legs, I bet every time STEMO has an accident he smiles thinking, well I ain't going like Elvis this time. :P ;D