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[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody. 

Welcome to my world STEMO!  The clock is ticking down, but I'm first to that nice cosy chair by the sunny window, with a bit of potato stuck to my chin

Sounds idyllic. 

[Lizzie Zoom]

And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody. 

Welcome to my world STEMO!  The clock is ticking down, but I'm first to that nice cosy chair by the sunny window, with a bit of potato stuck to my chin

Sounds idyllic. 

What, the sing song and holding hands sessions, along with mushy, easily eaten food and old folk social politics?  I can't wait!!!

[aaronjb]

Apparently those places are like one big swingers club.. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/older-people-stis-sexually-transmitted-infections-50-to-70-chief-medical-officer-report-dame-sally-a7463861.html

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock.

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody. 

Welcome to my world STEMO!  The clock is ticking down, but I'm first to that nice cosy chair in the lounge, that's if it still exists when we finally get there!!

It will almost certainly smell of 'leaked urine'

[Varche]

Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock.

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea.

I bet it is served on silver salvers at a table so long you need field glasses to see Mrs Opti at the other end.

[STEMO]

Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock.

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea.

I bet it is served on silver salvers at a table so long you need field glasses to see Mrs Opti at the other end.

He looks through the wrong end so she appears further away 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

And I'm not ready for the old people's home just yet, could happen to anybody. 

Yes it can.

But if it happens on a regular basis get it checked out (if you can 'remember' that it happens on a regular basis)

[Lizzie Zoom]

Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock.

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea.

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti?

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock.

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea.

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti?

I'm barely out of my teens, Lizzie.

[Lizzie Zoom]

Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock.

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea.

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti?

I'm barely out of my teens, Lizzie.

    I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Wifey was late home tonight after a governors meeting. I was tired but started our tea at about 8:15. Made the dinner and finished of by making two cups of tea. Sat down and ate..and talked...and ate a bit more..then........what's that smell?

At this point I could do an Opti and ask you all to guess. But you'd only say I'd shit meself again, so I won't.

I'd made the tea and put the electric kettle firmly on to the hob, on the ring I'd just turned off. The bottom of the kettle had turned into a black, plasticky goo and, when I lifted it up, it left strings of plastic like pizza cheese.

What a pillock.

In refined society we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

.......rather than breakfast, dinner, and tea.

At the level of middle class I am from, upper, it was breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper Opti.  Do you remember those days Opti?

I'm barely out of my teens, Lizzie.

    I bet you remember smoking cigars and drinking brandy in the library with the other men prior to WW2 Lord Opti

Ah.....a case of men running the world and making important decisions while the women are left to discuss the more mundane aspects of life in another room. Perhaps enjoying a little knitting.

[BazaJT]

Does kind of beg the question why you're putting an electric kettle on the hob in the first place? Not being one of the "refined" society it's always been breakfast,dinner,tea and supper for me Gravel sandwiches without the bread and first up best dressed

[STEMO]

Does kind of beg the question why you're putting an electric kettle on the hob in the first place? Not being one of the "refined" society it's always been breakfast,dinner,tea and supper for me Gravel sandwiches without the bread and first up best dressed

Ermm......let me see........accidentally? 

[TheBoy]

Would you rather have shat yourself?