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Chat Area => General Car Chat => Topic started by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 January 2021, 18:34:13

Title: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 January 2021, 18:34:13
https://youtu.be/w1nwN9BSiqw (https://youtu.be/w1nwN9BSiqw)

I shall check mine out when it gets light.
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 27 January 2021, 19:17:18
That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 January 2021, 19:27:36
That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

I've just had a look and can't see that piece of pipe.... ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: STEMO on 27 January 2021, 19:29:10
That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

I've just had a look and can't see that piece of pipe.... ??? ??? ???
Start a 10 page thread  ;D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 January 2021, 19:31:18
His car is 2010 and mine is 2015. Perhaps that explains it.....or not.
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 January 2021, 19:34:38
That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

I've just had a look and can't see that piece of pipe.... ??? ??? ???
Start a 10 page thread ;D

Well you never need to look. You just give it to a wrench monkey and say "fix that for us lad, I'll give you what you ask for" ;D ;D

Must be nice to have money. :)
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: STEMO on 27 January 2021, 19:36:10
That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

I've just had a look and can't see that piece of pipe.... ??? ??? ???
Start a 10 page thread ;D

Well you never need to look. You just give it to a wrench monkey and say "fix that for us lad, I'll give you what you ask for" ;D ;D

Must be nice to have money. :)
There's that money word again.  ::)
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: STEMO on 27 January 2021, 19:37:26
And, for £300, I can get a cambelt and water pump done, not just an oil change using the wrong oil  ;D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 January 2021, 19:44:19
And, for £300, I can get a cambelt and water pump done, not just an oil change using the wrong oil  ;D

I've been using the main dealer, but now the car is 5 years old I may not bother.

Yearly service  (yes, it is essentially an oil change and SFA else) has been around £200-£250 using the 3+ service plan.

Full cost is around £600 for people who are too lazy to negotiate, or too rich to give a f*uck about money. :)

Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 January 2021, 19:46:47
That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

They are generally fragrant. No skanks allowed on the reception desk at Tata. :)
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Viral_Jim on 27 January 2021, 20:05:03
I've been using the main dealer, but now the car is 5 years old I may not bother.

Yearly service  (yes, it is essentially an oil change and SFA else) has been around £200-£250 using the 3+ service plan.

To be fair, there's probably about £90 of parts in an oil change on one of those, so not the worst value in the world at £200.

Have you given up on your idea of swapping it for an XJ supercharged 575?
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 27 January 2021, 20:18:21
That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

I've just had a look and can't see that piece of pipe.... ??? ??? ???

See? Just the thought of the attractive receptionist with big tits had you in a trance!  :o  ::)

Your reply bore no relation to my comment!  ;D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: dave the builder on 27 January 2021, 20:23:34

That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 27 January 2021, 20:40:50

That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: STEMO on 27 January 2021, 21:01:00

That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
My pipe leaks most of the time, very inconvenient. Or at least it was, until I discovered tena for men. ;D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: dave the builder on 27 January 2021, 21:09:11

That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
My pipe leaks most of the time, very inconvenient. Or at least it was, until I discovered tena for men. ;D
"tena" for a woman  is about all I'd pay ,including 12" of fuel hose  :P
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 27 January 2021, 21:25:43
You'll get what you're given and say thank you afterwards  :D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 January 2021, 13:38:28
I've been using the main dealer, but now the car is 5 years old I may not bother.

Yearly service  (yes, it is essentially an oil change and SFA else) has been around £200-£250 using the 3+ service plan.

To be fair, there's probably about £90 of parts in an oil change on one of those, so not the worst value in the world at £200.

Have you given up on your idea of swapping it for an XJ supercharged 575?

I did toy with idea but I think it is simply too big.

Besides, TB owns an XJ so obviously the car has an image problem. :)
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Viral_Jim on 28 January 2021, 14:23:56

I did toy with idea but I think it is simply too big.

Besides, TB owns an XJ so obviously the car has an image problem. :)

A very good point. Much like new Range rovers sadly. Every Kim Kylie and Courtney seems to have one. Not like the rare and majestic signum  :y

What is yours putting out now you've had the remap? I still get tempted by the previous generation XJR & s-type R, although down on Cc's, 430bhp is likely to be adequate I would imagine.
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: ronnyd on 28 January 2021, 14:29:26

That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
My pipe leaks most of the time, very inconvenient. Or at least it was, until I discovered tena for men. ;D
You've spelt incontinent wrong.  ;)
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 28 January 2021, 15:32:40

That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
My pipe leaks most of the time, very inconvenient. Or at least it was, until I discovered tena for men. ;D
You've spelt incontinent wrong.  ;)
No, it's always beem incontinent, only now he has Tena for Men, it's alot less inconvenient  ;D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 January 2021, 15:46:29

I did toy with idea but I think it is simply too big.

Besides, TB owns an XJ so obviously the car has an image problem. :)

A very good point. Much like new Range rovers sadly. Every Kim Kylie and Courtney seems to have one. Not like the rare and majestic signum  :y

What is yours putting out now you've had the remap? I still get tempted by the previous generation XJR & s-type R, although down on Cc's, 430bhp is likely to be adequate I would imagine.

As stock Jaguar quote 510 BHP and 461 ft lb.

According to Viezu the remap will add another 50-60 BHP and another 50-60 ft lb.....(my mind won't work in NM)

Once moving and into it's stride it's as quick as a 2020 M5, RS6 or E 63S....and they all have 600 BHP.

Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 28 January 2021, 16:59:31
One of our Seniors often talks about when the 5litre supercharged was first introduced.

There was one for sale via one of the magazines, so business protection popped around to buy it.............with the Police, and when the guy answered the door they asked where the other 9 were as the engine had not been launched and a truck load of protos had disappeared enroute from darkest Wales.....they were in his lockup
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 28 January 2021, 17:12:22
https://youtu.be/D5HJd3Pwtys (https://youtu.be/D5HJd3Pwtys)

Not exactly sure what they did to this 2008 XFR 5.0 V8 prototype to make it hit 225 MPH...... :)
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: STEMO on 28 January 2021, 17:17:36
One of our Seniors often talks about when the 5litre supercharged was first introduced.

There was one for sale via one of the magazines, so business protection popped around to buy it.............with the Police, and when the guy answered the door they asked where the other 9 were as the engine had not been launched and a truck load of protos had disappeared enroute from darkest Wales.....they were in his lockup
That must have been one big lockup.  ;D
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: STEMO on 28 January 2021, 17:18:39
Oh......engines, not cars  :-[
Title: Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
Post by: Viral_Jim on 28 January 2021, 18:25:39
One of our Seniors often talks about when the 5litre supercharged was first introduced.

There was one for sale via one of the magazines, so business protection popped around to buy it.............with the Police, and when the guy answered the door they asked where the other 9 were as the engine had not been launched and a truck load of protos had disappeared enroute from darkest Wales.....they were in his lockup

I remember hearing about that. The theft I mean, not the recovery. Guess that bit isn't as interesting. Amazingly stupid though, to sell something which can't yet be bought, and openly advertise it.  ::)