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Author Topic: Everyone a moron ......  (Read 838 times)

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HolyCount

  • Guest
Everyone a moron ......
« on: 30 April 2009, 17:52:31 »

Number 6 made me giggle though .....



What happened to survival of the fittest? lol

How do these people survive?


ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked
up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this
remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit
this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!


FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier',
the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'




Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
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Pitchfork

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Re: Everyone a moron ......
« Reply #1 on: 30 April 2009, 17:57:26 »

Talking of Morons ( or is it Cretins) so is the one who drove into my wife's brand new car in his N reg Peugot 306 at 4 o'clock this afternoon by driving too fast down a narrow lane which gets use as a Rat-Run to cut off a corner >:( >:(
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HolyCount

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Re: Everyone a moron ......
« Reply #2 on: 30 April 2009, 18:02:01 »

Quote
Talking of Morons ( or is it Cretins) so is the one who drove into my wife's brand new car in his N reg Peugot 306 at 4 o'clock this afternoon by driving too fast down a narrow lane which gets use as a Rat-Run to cut off a corner >:( >:(

I would say, in his case, it's cretinous moron ( or moronic cretin!)
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The Red Baron

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Re: Everyone a moron ......
« Reply #3 on: 30 April 2009, 18:22:17 »

they are all good uns count. :y
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cem_devecioglu

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Re: Everyone a moron ......
« Reply #4 on: 30 April 2009, 18:38:29 »

 :-?

people sometimes are unbelievable and some : always ;D
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Everyone a moron ......
« Reply #5 on: 30 April 2009, 19:42:49 »

Quote
Number 6 made me giggle though .....



What happened to survival of the fittest? lol

How do these people survive?


ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked
up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this
remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit
this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!


FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier',
the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'




Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!


You should have asked for a dozen...... ::) ::) ::) :y
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Jimbob

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Re: Everyone a moron ......
« Reply #6 on: 01 May 2009, 07:03:54 »

Weve helped a woman out in our street cos of number 4

They ARE out there!

Debs.

  • Guest
Re: Everyone a moron ......
« Reply #7 on: 01 May 2009, 08:00:08 »

Quote
Weve helped a woman out in our street cos of number 4

They ARE out there!
:o....talk about letting the side down! ::)
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