WORDS OF WISDOM
1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
2. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
3. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
4. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
5. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
6. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
7. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
8. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
9. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
10. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
11. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
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Funny in Flight Announcement
"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
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The Best "Out Of Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position .
2: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
3: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.
4: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'
5: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
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Welcome to the world of marriage
1. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
2. There are two times a man does'nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!
3. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
4. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
5. Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper.
6. TV has no place in love. Marriage is a fight for remote control.
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Topic: Few points to ponder .... (Read 421 times)