The Worst Day
A small man was sitting in a bar staring into his drink. He didn't move for a half-an-hour when a big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him, took the man's drink and guzzled it down.
The poor man started crying. The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab and went home. After the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I went in the house only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener.
I left home depressed and came to this bar." And now, when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and DRINK MY POISON!
Grief
Dorothy is very upset as her husband, Albert, had just passed away. She goes to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed, and the instant she sees him, she starts wailing and crying.
One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her. Through her tears she explains that she was upset because Albert was wearing a black suit and that it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The attendant apologizes and explains that they always put the bodies in a black suit as a matter of course, but he'd see what he could do.
The next day Dorothy returns to the mortuary to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the attendant pulls back the curtain, Dorothy manages to smile through her tears as Albert is now wearing a smart blue suit.
She asks the attendant "How did you manage to get hold of that beautiful blue suit?"
"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a deceased man about your husband's size was brought in, and he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the attendant replied.
He continued, "After that it was simply a matter of swapping the heads."
Author
Topic: Couple of jokes ... (Read 606 times)