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[kris]

sorry to bore/ bother you all again. spoke about this a while back but didnt takre much notice. lost my mam 5 yrs ago and rally breaked me up. raced from kent but she died as i pulled into car park at hospital. never got to say good bye and have never forgiven  myself  for not being there when she needed me the most. any way started to deal with it my own way and things started to get better but just latley have started to get worse. taking things out on the missus. drinking more. punishing myself for something i had no control over. it's starting tom tear my family apart. i know some of you have mentioned a service that help idiots like me but cant remember what it was called. could somebody please remind me. many thanks, kris

[Jimbob]

Cruse...

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

highly recommended 

[Darth Loo-knee]

sorry to bore/ bother you all again. spoke about this a while back but didnt takre much notice. lost my mam 5 yrs ago and rally breaked me up. raced from kent but she died as i pulled into car park at hospital. never got to say good bye and have never forgiven  myself  for not being there when she needed me the most. any way started to deal with it my own way and things started to get better but just latley have started to get worse. taking things out on the missus. drinking more. punishing myself for something i had no control over. it's starting tom tear my family apart. i know some of you have mentioned a service that help idiots like me but cant remember what it was called. could somebody please remind me. many thanks, kris

Kris if you go to your Doctor talk it over with him, they WILL have some sort of Bereavement Counselling there in place already, you just need to ask.
Don't feel to stupid about going and asking for help alot of us have been and done this already, don't forget mate we all deal with things in different ways and being upset is nothing to be ashamed of

[kris]

Cruse...

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

highly recommended 

cheers jim. ( couldnt remember the name)


dlk have been to the docs and all he wanted to do was put me on anti-depresants. 

[BigAl]

dlk have been to the docs and all he wanted to do was put me on anti-depresants. 

anti-depressants may help, but the counselling idea is a good first step, as is realising you need some help

[Baron Von Spongebob]

Hey Buddy, we have all been through it..Don't blame yourself but you must be strong for yourself and your family, Booze is not the answer although you might think it is, At the time of drinking all feels fine unti, the next drink or two then it all goes downhill, Booze is a depressant so do not use it, Get the mental picture in your head of the good times whatever they may be.

You have of course have the option of professional help, take it if you need it, do not bury your head in the sand.

Human we all are, well most of us..
Best of luck mate but take the right option that suits you,, that does not include Drink..

[BigAl]

sorry to bore/ bother you all again.

Kris, you're not boring or bothering anyone on the forum, we're basically an extended family

have never forgiven  myself  for not being there when she needed me the most

what difference would it have made?, would it have saved her life or eased her suffering?

drinking more

as you mentioned later the doc wants to put you on anti-depressants, too much alcohol can make you depressed

idiots like me

you're an idiot, because you're upset you mum died - no, you're not

[Mr Skrunts]

Kris, all the advice above is excellent.

I lost my Dad when I was 22, looking back and thinking about it it I never opened up and spoke to anyone, I treasured the memories and the good times and slowly moved forward, but the process cost me my job at the time.

My Mum passed away in 2000, I couldnt sleep, I snarled at everyone, I was so stressed you wouldnt believe it.  I was offered anti depressents (piled them up in box) but some how I knew they were not the awnswer for me.  It took over a year for me to start sleeping just a few hours at a time, but I got there.

The one thing I learnt was my partner suffered most of my stress, she understood why and tried to getme to open up and talk about it.  Sadly I am an awkward sod that very rarely lets people know whats really going on inside, but when I did open up it really did help.



The only advice I can offer is, as mentioned, the booze wont make any better to deal with.  Anti depressents may help, talk with people, your partner and your Doctor, but at the end of the day you know how you feel about taking them.  But open up to your partner, let her in, tell her how you feel.  give her a hug and sob your eyes out.   

Just remember Kris, it's good to talk