European Union Directive
The European Union Commissioners have today announced that, after considered debate, an agreement has been finally reached to adopt a single language for the European Union. The preferred language for all European communications will now be English, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the final negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five – year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.
In the first year, the letter ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, Sivil Servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced with ‘k’.
Ther will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ some 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to attain a stage where more komplikated improvements are possible.
By the forth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and redusing ‘w’ by 50 persent to just ‘v’.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar moves would be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten styl.
Ze drem of a truli akseptibil Englis languaj vil av finali kum tru.
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Topic: New European Directive (Read 2306 times)