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Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 5385 times)

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maria

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #15 on: 05 April 2008, 21:56:29 »
Like it ;D ;D ;D
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denisaok

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #16 on: 05 April 2008, 21:59:57 »
The fact you are calling it a "big end" just goes to show you've been servicing the wrong model.
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denisaok

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #17 on: 05 April 2008, 22:02:23 »
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."

"You're wasting your time," said the boy.

"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.

"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
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denisaok

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #18 on: 05 April 2008, 22:04:48 »
The priest in a small  village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.  But, one Saturday night the cock went missing!! The priest knew that cockfights happened in the village, so he started to question his parishioners in the church the next morning.

During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All  the men stood up.

"No, no!", he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up.

"No no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock  that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.

"No no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?" All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests, and a goat stood up.
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maria

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #19 on: 05 April 2008, 22:04:51 »
Now that made me laugh ;D ;D :y
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waspy

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #20 on: 05 April 2008, 22:07:28 »
Fantastic. TPMS  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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maria

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #21 on: 05 April 2008, 22:08:58 »
I asked for some jokes now i am getting lots to read thanks every one for cheering me up tonight as i needed it :y
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denisaok

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #22 on: 05 April 2008, 22:11:07 »
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

 On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married  ten times?”

“Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was  supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.  

Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was...Goodness me, I miss him!

But now that I’ve married you, I’m so excited!”

“Good,” said the husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a senior manager with BT, this time I KNOW I’m gonna get SCREWED!
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Entwood

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #23 on: 05 April 2008, 22:13:02 »
Now THAT I like .. :)

 ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y
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maria

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #24 on: 05 April 2008, 22:20:00 »
I read that befor but its a good joke and makes me laugh every time ;D ;D
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denisaok

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #25 on: 05 April 2008, 22:23:19 »
A small boy accompanied his parents to a nudistcolony. They all stripped off and went out into thegarden.   The boy looked round with interest and then asked his father why some men had big ones and
some men had small ones.Dad couldn't be bothered with long explanations sohe just said, "Those with big ones are smart and those with small ones are stupid"
The boy wandered off on his own for a while and then met his father again.
"Have you seen mother?" asked his Dad.
"She's behind that bush over there said the the boy
talking to a stupid man who's getting smarter bythe minute!"


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To ask a question and feel idiotic for a moment is better than not to ask and be idiotic for a life time.

maria

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #26 on: 05 April 2008, 22:28:36 »
Love it ;D ;D ;D
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Richie London

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #27 on: 05 April 2008, 22:29:17 »
Quote
As any one got any good jokes too tell i could do with a laugh right now and be cheered up :y

gordon brown has announced cheaper petrol, gas and electric,beer and wine. the congestion charge will stop and all speed cameras removed, and im going to win euro millions next week  ;D ;D ;D ;D

richie
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maria

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #28 on: 05 April 2008, 22:31:57 »
That would be nice if you did and you would be one happy chap ;D
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Richie London

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #29 on: 05 April 2008, 22:40:47 »
money wouldnt make me happier, or would it lol.but i know i wouldnt be getting up at 6 every morning anymore.  :) :)

richie
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