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[OOMV6]

A little tale from years gone by...

A “few” years ago whilst I was training in the hotel / catering industry I was doing the stint in the kitchen.

So there I was all dressed up appropriately, chefs whites, chequered trousers, white hat. Make the Marie-Rose sauce was the instruction. No hassle.

A ten litre mayonnaise pot. Add tomato ketchup, worcestershire sauce etc etc. Give it a good old stir and hey presto, Marie-Rose was there.

Seal the top back on, lift pot from workbench to place on the lower shelf. This is where it went wrong.

I grabbed the pot from above. Unknowingly I only had hold of the top itself. I slid the pot towards me to put below. The pot fell, leaving me standing there like a right idiot with just the lid in my hand.

The pot hit the deck perfectly square on i.e. it didn’t topple over. As a result the 10 litres of pink sauce, upon impact, jumped up out of the pot and made off towards the celing at high speed. Of course I was looking down at the time, wondering why the pot had suddenly got so much lighter. So with the pink sauce flying at high speed towards the ceiling, at least there was something to block some of it, and as such, lessen the mess all over the kitchen. That happened to me my face.

Whilst the other chefs behind me saw what went on, I am not entirely sure they were prepared for what they were about to see. From behind, I was in a pristine chefs uniform. It’s only when I turned around, did they see the true picture. A young trainee chef who was now wearing a bright pink uniform (from the front anyway) which stretched, and completely covered, from the knee to the top of the hat. A lovely pink face too.

I do realise that it is one of thoise occasions where you really needed to be there to understand the full hilarity of the situation, but I can assure you the laughter didn't die down too quickly.

There must be a few of you out there with tales of unfortunate situations, which although you may have told over and over, may not have been heard here. Let's here them.

[Varche]

Working in the kitchens at the Norbreck in Scarborough.

The Rice pudding option for dessert wasn't warm enough and so a waiter put it in the dumb waiter (small lift) several floors above except it wasn't there.

In the kitchen there was a terrific bang and gallons of luke warm rice pudding exploded out of the lift.

I nearly got sacked for laughing so much.

[SIR Philbutt]

About 30 years ago when I had my "sooped" up Mk1 escort I was returning from Yorkshire over the Pennines (Blackstone edge) late one evening. The road was de-restricted at the time with a long straight past a dam, quick(open) "s" bend and a long up hill straight, about a mile and half in all. Having traveled this road many times, if clear, I always would hit the main beam, switch on the "Cibie's", drop to 2nd at the de-restricted sign and give it the boot, up past the dam in 3rd through the "s" into 4th and up to the top of the hill. Such fun  .

On this particular evening as I got to the dam a rabbit ran out from the near side and "bump" under the car. I hit the brakes, stop and reverse up.

There in the dim light from my car I see this rabbit "thrutching and twitching" in the gutter  . What should I do, drive off or put it out of it's misery. Decide the latter and go to look in the boot for an implement. Find the only possible solution is the tire lever, grab it, and turn to do the dirty deed. Then I notice there is a police car pulled up on the opposite side of the road, "alright lad" says the driver. (good job i'd had to stop )

"OK" I say, "i've hit this rabbit and I am going to put it out of it's misery". So he gets out and comes over, takes one look at the animal and say's "sorry lad but cant let you do that. This is a Hare and out of season so if you do that I will have to arrest you. You will have to safely transport this to a vet and have it treated."

"What, you have got to be kidding. It's eleven at night." i say.

Just then the passenger get's out and and opens the boot. "I've got the solution here somewhere" he says and starts "rummaging" around all the cones & lights and other stuff in there. "Found it" he shout's and walks over with a spray can. He then leans down to the animal, gives a long spray on the back of it's neck and stands back, his mate stands back and therefore I do.

After a couple of seconds the animal stops twitching, stands up, looks at me, looks at the coppers then bolts off back into the bushes.

Absolutely amazing to watch 

[r1]

About 30 years ago when I had my "sooped" up Mk1 escort I was returning from Yorkshire over the Pennines (Blackstone edge) late one evening. The road was de-restricted at the time with a long straight past a dam, quick(open) "s" bend and a long up hill straight, about a mile and half in all. Having traveled this road many times, if clear, I always would hit the main beam, switch on the "Cibie's", drop to 2nd at the de-restricted sign and give it the boot, up past the dam in 3rd through the "s" into 4th and up to the top of the hill. Such fun  .

On this particular evening as I got to the dam a rabbit ran out from the near side and "bump" under the car. I hit the brakes, stop and reverse up.

There in the dim light from my car I see this rabbit "thrutching and twitching" in the gutter  . What should I do, drive off or put it out of it's misery. Decide the latter and go to look in the boot for an implement. Find the only possible solution is the tire lever, grab it, and turn to do the dirty deed. Then I notice there is a police car pulled up on the opposite side of the road, "alright lad" says the driver. (good job i'd had to stop )

"OK" I say, "i've hit this rabbit and I am going to put it out of it's misery". So he gets out and comes over, takes one look at the animal and say's "sorry lad but cant let you do that. This is a Hare and out of season so if you do that I will have to arrest you. You will have to safely transport this to a vet and have it treated."

"What, you have got to be kidding. It's eleven at night." i say.

Just then the passenger get's out and and opens the boot. "I've got the solution here somewhere" he says and starts "rummaging" around all the cones & lights and other stuff in there. "Found it" he shout's and walks over with a spray can. He then leans down to the animal, gives a long spray on the back of it's neck and stands back, his mate stands back and therefore I do.

After a couple of seconds the animal stops twitching, stands up, looks at me, looks at the coppers then bolts off back into the bushes.

Absolutely amazing to watch 

i presume it said hare spray on the tin

[moggy]

About 30 years ago when I had my "sooped" up Mk1 escort I was returning from Yorkshire over the Pennines (Blackstone edge) late one evening. The road was de-restricted at the time with a long straight past a dam, quick(open) "s" bend and a long up hill straight, about a mile and half in all. Having traveled this road many times, if clear, I always would hit the main beam, switch on the "Cibie's", drop to 2nd at the de-restricted sign and give it the boot, up past the dam in 3rd through the "s" into 4th and up to the top of the hill. Such fun  .

On this particular evening as I got to the dam a rabbit ran out from the near side and "bump" under the car. I hit the brakes, stop and reverse up.

There in the dim light from my car I see this rabbit "thrutching and twitching" in the gutter  . What should I do, drive off or put it out of it's misery. Decide the latter and go to look in the boot for an implement. Find the only possible solution is the tire lever, grab it, and turn to do the dirty deed. Then I notice there is a police car pulled up on the opposite side of the road, "alright lad" says the driver. (good job i'd had to stop )

"OK" I say, "i've hit this rabbit and I am going to put it out of it's misery". So he gets out and comes over, takes one look at the animal and say's "sorry lad but cant let you do that. This is a Hare and out of season so if you do that I will have to arrest you. You will have to safely transport this to a vet and have it treated."

"What, you have got to be kidding. It's eleven at night." i say.

Just then the passenger get's out and and opens the boot. "I've got the solution here somewhere" he says and starts "rummaging" around all the cones & lights and other stuff in there. "Found it" he shout's and walks over with a spray can. He then leans down to the animal, gives a long spray on the back of it's neck and stands back, his mate stands back and therefore I do.

After a couple of seconds the animal stops twitching, stands up, looks at me, looks at the coppers then bolts off back into the bushes.

Absolutely amazing to watch 

i presume it said hare spray on the tin

No hare restorer,he forgot to say it waved goodbuy to him.So it was a hare restorer with a permanant wave

[SIR Philbutt]

Ah well, was hoping someone would ask  . Hare restorer it is. Gold star to moggy

Like the permanent wave bit will use that next time I tell this one 

[mantahatch]

Aged about 17 or 18 in my Chevette, 4 blokes parked up in a country lane  It was the one and only time I have ever attempted drugs 

Anyway I am n drivers seat with my best mate beside me and the supplier/taker of so called drugs in the back. He starts to roll this joint and out comes this little foil pack and he sprinkles something into the roll up. He lights it and takes a drag, says oh yes. Passes to other mate who takes drag and say, oh yes. Then they pass it up front, I take and drag and pass it to my mate who takes drag. We just look at each other, no comments pass between us. No feeling weird or anything. The two guys in the back are getting weird as we pass this "joint around.

So pitch black country lane, and then a car comes the other way with main beam on, blinding us. So I get all leary and put my main beam on and start making the V sign out the window. Low and behold what car is it ? yes you guessed it, its a Police car. Well me an my mate thinking are numbers up, and two guys in the back sober up pretty quickly. Policeman wants to know why I am making abusive gestures, I apologise like a gibbering child. Policeman says don't let it happen agan and drives off.

Now, years later I realise when weed is smoked there is a strange smell to it. Now why did the Policeman not notice it ? Ahh you guessed it again, it was not any kind of drugs at all.

Ahh to be young and stupid again.

Feel free to have a good laugh at me. So I can honestly say I have never taken illegal drugs, and I learnt something that night.