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[thewelshman]

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits
By Pam Aires

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to
boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old
dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning, And those dirty memories
are rapidly dimming, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things When they no longer bounce,
but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings, I wish I'd looked after
me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow, When it's not the
sweet chariot that swings low, When they're less of a friend and more
of a foe, Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots, From the men on the site to
the men in the suits, Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me
boots, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When picking them up requires some leverage, When it's not so much
lift as industrial heavage, When there's more of a parting and less of
a cleavage, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters, Cruising around with my
favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters, I wish I'd
looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door, When they're less
in the air and more near the floor, When people see less of them
rather than more, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

[Entwood]

 

[phil her up]

Pam Aires is quite funny, but  talking about her tits just don't seem right, if it was Carol vorderman that would be a differant matter

[Debs.]

  .......

[HolyCount]

And what has carol got that pam hasn't ( apart from teeth!)  :-?

[Debs.]

And what has carol got that pam hasn't ( apart from teeth!)  :-?

Dunno.....`just doesn`t add up!  

[amigov6]

Some years ago in Viz there was an article called "Borderline boilers" One chap wrote in saying he'd like to "Do" Carol from behind,eating a curry off her bare back while she did his Tax Returns.
   Some thoughts stay with you! 8-)

[CaptainZok]

Some years ago in Viz there was an article called "Borderline boilers" One chap wrote in saying he'd like to "Do" Carol from behind,eating a curry off her bare back while she did his Tax Returns.
   Some thoughts stay with you! 8-)

Ahh a fellow reader of the more "highbrow" publications.
Bet you get the Sport to keep up with where Elvis is these days too.

[Debs.]

Some years ago in Viz there was an article called "Borderline boilers" One chap wrote in saying he'd like to "Do" Carol from behind,eating a curry off her bare back while she did his Tax Returns.
   Some thoughts stay with you! 8-)

  Eeeeeeew!......now that would be a hot-ruby!  

[maria]

Like it  

[Elite Pete]

I remember Pam Aires from the 70s early 80s, I think it was Opportunity Knocks. She's a very funny woman

[HolyCount]

I remember Pam Aires from the 70s early 80s, I think it was Opportunity Knocks. She's a very funny woman

Yeah -- I saw her one woman show a good few years back --- my ribs hurt for a few days after that !  Mind you -- I am easily amused  

[The Barge Captain]

It must be read whilst mentally doing her accent

[Marks DTM Calib]

I remember Pam Aires from the 70s early 80s, I think it was Opportunity Knocks. She's a very funny woman

I work with her nephew....