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[thewelshman]

Tough questions make the mind boggle
It's hard to believe people like this exist. Some of them are
determined not to be helped. They must have been born & raised in a
deep mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!

THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with
G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state
funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword

2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon

3) Name the capital of France? - F

4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell

5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar

6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital

7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil

A famous Scotsman? - Jock

9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.

10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs

11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water

12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse

13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair

14) A famous Royal? - Mail

15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with
wings

16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet

18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate

19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on

20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police

21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April

22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing

23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep

24) Something you put on walls? - A roof

25) Something slippery? - A conman

26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish

27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam

28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato

29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas

30) Something red? - My sweater

RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter : Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the
world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in
Spain.

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera.
True or false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an
American TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel
last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four

BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

[FRE07962128]

Tough questions make the mind boggle
It's hard to believe people like this exist. Some of them are
determined not to be helped. They must have been born & raised in a
deep mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!

THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with
G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state
funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword

2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon

3) Name the capital of France? - F

4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell

5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar

6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital

7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil

A famous Scotsman? - Jock

9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.

10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs

11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water

12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse

13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair

14) A famous Royal? - Mail

15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with
wings

16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet

18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate

19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on

20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police

21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April

22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing

23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep

24) Something you put on walls? - A roof

25) Something slippery? - A conman

26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish

27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam

28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato

29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas

30) Something red? - My sweater

RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter : Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the
world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in
Spain.

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera.
True or false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an
American TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel
last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four

BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

Yes, there are some right plonkers around but perhaps we are all capable of the odd stupid moment, especially when a few million people are listening to hear how stupid you are!

Makes you wonder, yet again, about our educational system.

Lizzie Zoom

[waspy]

  at stupid people

[ians]

Some of those are truly side splitting.  

Weakest Link must have been the Big Brother special..

[Paulus]

[Entwood]

 

[DaveyDavey]

Excellent, that's put a large smile on my face!!

[maria]

Very good

[HolyCount]

Mind you -- if you stuck me on TV and asked me my name I would probably have to "pass" !!  

[humbucker]

i remember seeing a clip of family fortunes;

"name a dangerous race"

"arabs"

i was in stitches, so very very wrong!

[mars]

 

[Marks DTM Calib]

i remember seeing a clip of family fortunes;

"name a dangerous race"

"arabs"

i was in stitches, so very very wrong!

Its the sort of thing that prince phillip would say.......hes a top guy!

[waspy]

i remember seeing a clip of family fortunes;

"name a dangerous race"

"arabs"

i was in stitches, so very very wrong!

Its the sort of thing that prince phillip would say.......hes a top guy!

Hey Mark, do you recall the fuse box saga some years back at Rolls Royce  

[Marks DTM Calib]

E.g.:

Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps.

At Washington Embassy reception for Commonwealth members.


British women can't cook. They are very good at decorating food and making it attractive. But they have an inability to cook.

Addressing mainly female audience at Scottish Rural Women's Institute Display in 1966.


Do you still throw spears at each other?

To Australian Aborigines, during a visit to Queensland, 2002.


If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate how much more aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.

During Royal Jubilee tour in 2002.


I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

Speech in December 1988, dismissing claims who sell slaughtered meat have greater moral authority than those who participate in blood sports.


Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.

To group of deaf children standing next to Jamaican steel drum band, on visit to new National Assembly for Wales, 1999.


When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

March 1988.


Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practiced for a good many years.

Address to General Dental Council, quoted in Time November 21, 1960.


Tolerance is the one essential ingredient … You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance.

His recipe for a successful marriage, during celebrations for their golden wedding anniversary, November 1997.



And my personal favourite:

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test.

To Scottish driving instructor, 1995.

[waspy]

Yup Mark. Top guy