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[GastronomicKleptomaniac]

Who the juddering flip decides to make outbound sales calls at 7pm? I work shifts so was just settling down in bed (up at 2-45, I'm not narcoleptic) and I heard the phone go. Now even my mother, after two years, has learned that ringing me in the evening is likely to end in an earful of abuse, unless she is on fire and/ or drowning.
 Dash downstairs, wondering if Woman has had some sort of mishap, only to be greeted with "Hello, is that Mr Kleptomaniac" ">noncommittal grunt<" "I'm just calling from Razzle magazine with regards to your subscrip-" "I work shifts and I was in bed. Good day, sir" "Oh I'm ever so sor->click<"

Ignoring my wonky schedule, I know that's very unusual - but I can't think of a single situation where you'd gladly accept a sales call. If you work 9-5 you're probably winding down with a glass of Chablis and the television, or a newspaper, or seeing the kids before bedtime... and if you're unemployed you probably won't have any money to spend on frivolity - or if you look like a guest on a certain ITV show you may well be down the pub or fighting with the neighbours...

[dbug]

I just tell em I'm registered with the TPF and to feck off

[Auto Addict]

If a withheld, or an unrecognisable number comes up, I answer the phone 'Birmingham Central Police Station, Desk Sergent Wilson speaking, how may I help you?

They hang up for some reason

[Rog]

Well . . . . What about . . .

Silent calls, nobody there, some kind of number collecting scam - click

Heloooo this is mike fom puter support. Yeah right - click

Hello, did you receive your free local paper this week ? No - Click

Hello Mr *** this is (whatever charity), you kindly gave etc would you consider . . No ! - Click


Any more annoying calls ? Yes - Click

Hmphhhh

However, my son got a job soon after finishing Uni, cold calling ! So I do have some sympathy with some of them.

 

[Gaffers]

I got the attempted hack in to your computer 'This is Microsoft Customer Support' call last weekend.  I managed to keep them on the line for 35 minutes before they realised I run Linux 

[taitinson]

We get a lot of the PPI calls at work, so i politely give them all of "my" details, Mortgage / loans etc, then after 15mins of this they quite often tell me i am eligible and try and put me through, after asking my name.
Surname is Mouse i say, would that be Mickey they ask, Yes i reply..... Click. Funnily enough that company doesn't normally ring again.

[STMO123]

I always give them a mouthful and then feel a bit sorry afterwards. I realise they have a job to do but they are a fickin nuisance.

[cleggy]

The answer phone is permanent on, three rings it kicks in, If I want to I answer when I know the caller

You'd be surprise the number of hang ups when the machine kicks in

[YZ250]

The answer phone is permanent on, three rings it kicks in, If I want to I answer when I know the caller

You'd be surprise the number of hang ups when the machine kicks in

Exactly the same here. 

I work odd shifts as well so we leave the answer-phone permanently on to minimise rings. As said above, you can answer it if you want to, so this works best for us. 

[STMO123]

The answer phone is permanent on, three rings it kicks in, If I want to I answer when I know the caller

You'd be surprise the number of hang ups when the machine kicks in

Caller display will do that.

[YZ250]

The answer phone is permanent on, three rings it kicks in, If I want to I answer when I know the caller

You'd be surprise the number of hang ups when the machine kicks in

Caller display will do that.

I use caller display in conjunction with answer phone. The answer-phone limits the rings if you are on shifts or if you just don't want to answer it. 

[cleggy]

The answer phone is permanent on, three rings it kicks in, If I want to I answer when I know the caller

You'd be surprise the number of hang ups when the machine kicks in

Caller display will do that.

Yes, but you have to get off your arse to look at it, and the landline is in the hall

[STMO123]

The answer phone is permanent on, three rings it kicks in, If I want to I answer when I know the caller

You'd be surprise the number of hang ups when the machine kicks in

Caller display will do that.

Yes, but you have to get off your arse to look at it, and the landline is in the hall

Digital cordless will do that 

[Taxi_Driver]

The answer phone is permanent on, three rings it kicks in, If I want to I answer when I know the caller

You'd be surprise the number of hang ups when the machine kicks in

Caller display will do that.

Yes, but you have to get off your arse to look at it, and the landline is in the hall

Digital cordless will do that 

I guess your the sad git that carries it with you all the time 
Ive got three in the house and when the phone rings have to listen to give me a clue as to where the nearest one is....they are never on the chargers  and when i do spot one....its most likely turned off due to flat battery 

[doz]

I just normally say I'm not the person they want I'll just get them. Then just put the phone down and leave them hanging on.