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Author Topic: Joke Time  (Read 2302 times)

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FRE07962128

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #15 on: 24 May 2008, 19:23:01 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
HAHA

Dont set me off.

Never married but engaged twice.

Could say that the relationships dint last, but then I could say I had 2 very lucky escapes. ;D ;D ;D


Dysons (for doing the house work before someone gets smart (Lizie)) and Dishwashers are wonderfull things.  :y :y

"Dishwashers"?!!!!  For one person Skruntie?!  All it takes is a bowl of hot water, washing up liquid, a scourer, and, if you want to protect your soft hands, a pair of Marigolds! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Get a good woman in your life to control you...you need it! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y




Nooooo.

I have it all worked out.

The plan is that I am buying a dishwasher when I move (12 Place settings)

Then I buy 2 crockery sets and 2 cutlery sets.

So basically I set off with an empty DWsher and slowly fill it up as the week goes on.

Now the problem I have (which is where a woman would come in handy) is whether I buy 6/8/12 place setting for the cutlery and crockery.

With a 6 piece, I would have to start on set 2 before the end of the week.

But with an 8 piece I would have 1 place setting that never gets used. (But at least I have a spare n case of breakage.

Now being practical, I could but 2 x 6 place, and alternate the schemes till the DW is full, therefore making for an economical use of the DW.

But I am planning a diet, and rather than go for a fad diet, I would rather change my food portions.  This would mean I would only use small plates. Which would then mean I would need 3 x 8 place's as I would want 24 small plates.

You see now that I am thinking like a woman, I have to stop and think why???

Why spend £350 on a dishwasher

Why buy multiple sets of cutlery and crockery.

Why not just buy picnic knifes and forks (Plastic disposable) and paper plates.

Then all I need is the odd roll of bin liners and it's all sorted.



Simplicity.

Why complicate life with a woman in it.

Because we bring beauty, culture and sophistication to any given situation, and would also have wonderful cutlery and crockery that would bring sunshine to your life every time you sit down for a meal :D :D :D ;D ;).

Plastic knives, forks, and paper plates indeed!  ::) ::) ::) How can you even consider them for everyday use outside of a BBQ!  Think of the environment if not yourself; you poor man, you need that special woman desparately! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


« Last Edit: 24 May 2008, 19:24:33 by FRE07962128 »
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Richie London

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #16 on: 24 May 2008, 19:35:06 »

Quote
HAHA

Dont set me off.

Never married but engaged twice.

Could say that the relationships dint last, but then I could say I had 2 very lucky escapes. ;D ;D ;D

very lucky escape m8, took me 20 yrs to escape from stalag heathrow.  ;D ;D ;D

Dysons (for doing the house work before someone gets smart (Lizie)) and Dishwashers are wonderfull things.  :y :y
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #17 on: 24 May 2008, 19:50:28 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
HAHA

Dont set me off.

Never married but engaged twice.

Could say that the relationships dint last, but then I could say I had 2 very lucky escapes. ;D ;D ;D


Dysons (for doing the house work before someone gets smart (Lizie)) and Dishwashers are wonderfull things.  :y :y

"Dishwashers"?!!!!  For one person Skruntie?!  All it takes is a bowl of hot water, washing up liquid, a scourer, and, if you want to protect your soft hands, a pair of Marigolds! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Get a good woman in your life to control you...you need it! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y




Nooooo.

I have it all worked out.

The plan is that I am buying a dishwasher when I move (12 Place settings)

Then I buy 2 crockery sets and 2 cutlery sets.

So basically I set off with an empty DWsher and slowly fill it up as the week goes on.

Now the problem I have (which is where a woman would come in handy) is whether I buy 6/8/12 place setting for the cutlery and crockery.

With a 6 piece, I would have to start on set 2 before the end of the week.

But with an 8 piece I would have 1 place setting that never gets used. (But at least I have a spare n case of breakage.

Now being practical, I could but 2 x 6 place, and alternate the schemes till the DW is full, therefore making for an economical use of the DW.

But I am planning a diet, and rather than go for a fad diet, I would rather change my food portions.  This would mean I would only use small plates. Which would then mean I would need 3 x 8 place's as I would want 24 small plates.

You see now that I am thinking like a woman, I have to stop and think why???

Why spend £350 on a dishwasher

Why buy multiple sets of cutlery and crockery.

Why not just buy picnic knifes and forks (Plastic disposable) and paper plates.

Then all I need is the odd roll of bin liners and it's all sorted.



Simplicity.

Why complicate life with a woman in it.

Because we bring beauty, culture and sophistication to any given situation, and would also have wonderful cutlery and crockery that would bring sunshine to your life every time you sit down for a meal :D :D :D ;D ;).

Plastic knives, forks, and paper plates indeed!  ::) ::) ::) How can you even consider them for everyday use outside of a BBQ!  Think of the environment if not yourself; you poor man, you need that special woman desparately! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D



What could I possibly say to that?


There's the kitchen, let me know if there's anything you need?   ;D ;D :y
« Last Edit: 24 May 2008, 19:56:51 by skruntie »
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amigov6

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #18 on: 24 May 2008, 20:26:16 »

Quote
My better half.

MMMM.

Long story.

Let's just say, happy and single spring to mind at the moment.  :D
Best 7 years of my life but no dishwasher. Love all you girls but from a distance. Tried it a few times but not for me, happy on my own now.
 I honestly think i lack the certain something that needs someone, i just do'nt. What little time & money i have i like to use as i wish.
     Each to thier own though. :y
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FRE07962128

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #19 on: 24 May 2008, 20:28:42 »

Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)
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amigov6

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #20 on: 24 May 2008, 20:32:32 »

There's an offer you can't refuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #21 on: 24 May 2008, 20:40:20 »

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Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)

Are you into the fetish stuff then.?
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FRE07962128

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #22 on: 24 May 2008, 20:48:24 »

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Quote
Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)

Are you into the fetish stuff then.?


No I am never cruel!  I am a delightful loving and caring women who knows what men need, which often requires some persuation for you to recognize it. ;D ;D ;D ;)  
« Last Edit: 24 May 2008, 20:48:57 by FRE07962128 »
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #23 on: 24 May 2008, 20:56:30 »

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Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)

Are you into the fetish stuff then.?


No I am never cruel!  I am a delightful loving and caring women who knows what men need, which often requires some persuation for you to recognize it. ;D ;D ;D ;)  

What can I say to that

I think you better PM your CV and apply for the job.  

I dont have a lot to offer, I am prepared to buy a top of the range dishwasher to give you some time off.

I dont mind moving for someone that has so much to offer, but I think I may need one or two more incentives.   :D ::) ::) :y


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FRE07962128

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #24 on: 24 May 2008, 21:07:40 »

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Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)

Are you into the fetish stuff then.?


No I am never cruel!  I am a delightful loving and caring women who knows what men need, which often requires some persuation for you to recognize it. ;D ;D ;D ;)  

What can I say to that

I think you better PM your CV and apply for the job.  

I dont have a lot to offer, I am prepared to buy a top of the range dishwasher to give you some time off.I dont mind moving for someone that has so much to offer, but I think I may need one or two more incentives.   :D ::) ::) :y




I would need more than a top of the range dishwasher!  That's my handicap; I have very expensive tastes! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #25 on: 24 May 2008, 21:09:28 »

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Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)

Are you into the fetish stuff then.?


No I am never cruel!  I am a delightful loving and caring women who knows what men need, which often requires some persuation for you to recognize it. ;D ;D ;D ;)  

What can I say to that

I think you better PM your CV and apply for the job.  

I dont have a lot to offer, I am prepared to buy a top of the range dishwasher to give you some time off.I dont mind moving for someone that has so much to offer, but I think I may need one or two more incentives.   :D ::) ::) :y




I would need more than a top of the range dishwasher!  That's my handicap; I have very expensive tastes! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)

Ahhhhh, I just remembered why I styed single all this time.   ;D ;D ;D :y
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FRE07962128

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #26 on: 24 May 2008, 21:12:01 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)

Are you into the fetish stuff then.?


No I am never cruel!  I am a delightful loving and caring women who knows what men need, which often requires some persuation for you to recognize it. ;D ;D ;D ;)  

What can I say to that

I think you better PM your CV and apply for the job.  

I dont have a lot to offer, I am prepared to buy a top of the range dishwasher to give you some time off.I dont mind moving for someone that has so much to offer, but I think I may need one or two more incentives.   :D ::) ::) :y




I would need more than a top of the range dishwasher!  That's my handicap; I have very expensive tastes! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)

Ahhhhh, I just remembered why I styed single all this time.   ;D ;D ;D :y

Damn!   I have over played it yet again! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #27 on: 24 May 2008, 21:32:53 »

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Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Shame you live so far away Skruntie.  I would soon whip you into shape! ;D ;D ;)

Are you into the fetish stuff then.?


No I am never cruel!  I am a delightful loving and caring women who knows what men need, which often requires some persuation for you to recognize it. ;D ;D ;D ;)  

What can I say to that

I think you better PM your CV and apply for the job.  

I dont have a lot to offer, I am prepared to buy a top of the range dishwasher to give you some time off.I dont mind moving for someone that has so much to offer, but I think I may need one or two more incentives.   :D ::) ::) :y




I would need more than a top of the range dishwasher!  That's my handicap; I have very expensive tastes! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)

Ahhhhh, I just remembered why I styed single all this time.   ;D ;D ;D :y

Damn!   I have over played it yet again! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)

You were doing so well.

I was starting to think of the neatly laid out tables, the wonderfull aroma's emerging from the kitchen, the silk sheets, the fancy cocktails and of course the whip(s)



and then I woke up........ ;D ;D ;D
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FRE07962128

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #28 on: 24 May 2008, 21:35:29 »

Yes, I know, some things can never last and be perfect! ;D ;D ;)
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