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[Stemo]

Programme on ITV at 7:30 tonight. May be of interest to you.

[chrisgixer]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

[Stemo]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

[chrisgixer]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

Nor forgetting the dock leaf on top.

[Stemo]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

Nor forgetting the dock leaf on top.

Dock leaf? Are you a real doctor? 

[chrisgixer]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

Nor forgetting the dock leaf on top.

Dock leaf? Are you a real doctor? 

Yes, my credentials are on the internet. Somewhere.

[Stemo]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

Nor forgetting the dock leaf on top.

Dock leaf? Are you a real doctor? 

Yes, my credentials are on the internet. Somewhere.

I've seen your credentials, they're tiny.

[chrisgixer]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

Nor forgetting the dock leaf on top.

Dock leaf? Are you a real doctor? 

Yes, my credentials are on the internet. Somewhere.

I've seen your credentials, they're tiny.

Us Drs don't do eye tests. You need an optician you short sighted person you.

[chrisgixer]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

Nor forgetting the dock leaf on top.

Dock leaf? Are you a real doctor? 

Yes, my credentials are on the internet. Somewhere.

I've seen your credentials, they're tiny.

Us Drs don't do eye tests. You need an optician you short sighted person you.

Actually we have one here. Dr Opti? Perhaps?

[Stemo]

A stiff brandy 'll fix that.

I agree. Oh, and put a bread poultice on it. 

Nor forgetting the dock leaf on top.

Dock leaf? Are you a real doctor? 

Yes, my credentials are on the internet. Somewhere.

I've seen your credentials, they're tiny.

Us Drs don't do eye tests. You need an optician you short sighted person you.

Actually we have one here. Dr Opti? Perhaps?

Dr Opti is from south Lincs. He likes to put his hands up horses arses. Well, actually, from what I've heard, any arse will do.

[Stemo]

You two doctors should get together.

[chrisgixer]

Ooh he's on form tonight

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Far too many bogus doctors around here for my liking. I'm minded to complain to the medical council.

I can certainly get that Gixer chappie struck off.

[Stemo]

Far too many bogus doctors around here for my liking. I'm minded to complain to the medical council.

I can certainly get that Gixer chappie struck off.

Ohhhhhhh.........yes please.

[chrisgixer]

Now look. If you where a real Dr you'd know that one Dr never incriminates another.

So that's you rumbled. Oh yes!