Omega Owners Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Welcome to OOF

Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: New Boot's  (Read 1198 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Mr Skrunts

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Skruntie Land.
  • Posts: 25689
  • 3.O Elite Saloon with all the toys,
    • 2003 CD 2.2 Auto
    • View Profile
New Boot's
« on: 19 June 2008, 12:53:33 »
An old farmer went out and bought a new pair of boots.

He got home and tried to get his old lady to notice them, but she didn't. So he went in the bedroom, took off all his clothes, and came out wearing only the new boots.

"Notice anything?", He said.

"All I can see is a limp dick". She replied.

"Yes, but look at what its pointing at, My new boots". He said.

"Huh" she replied, "Then you should have bought a new hat"!
Logged
Ask yourself :  " WHY do I believe in what I believe?"

Remember that my opinions expressed here are not representative of the opinions of other members on the OOF Forum.

Mr Skrunts

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Skruntie Land.
  • Posts: 25689
  • 3.O Elite Saloon with all the toys,
    • 2003 CD 2.2 Auto
    • View Profile
Chicken At The Movies
« Reply #1 on: 19 June 2008, 12:58:29 »
A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"
« Last Edit: 19 June 2008, 13:01:58 by skruntie »
Logged
Ask yourself :  " WHY do I believe in what I believe?"

Remember that my opinions expressed here are not representative of the opinions of other members on the OOF Forum.

Jimbob

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Chester / Flintshire
  • Posts: 24530
  • I like traffic lights, but only when they're green
    • E250 Est / Golf GTI
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #2 on: 19 June 2008, 13:01:15 »
 ;D ;D ;D
Logged

Vamps

  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bishop Middleham, Co Durham.
  • Posts: 24708
  • Flying Tonight, so Be Prepared.
    • Mig 2.6CDX and 2.2 Honda
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #3 on: 19 June 2008, 13:41:05 »
 ;D ;D ;D
Logged

psychnurse

  • Omega Baron
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Leominster, Herefordshire
  • Posts: 2047
  • Whats in the fridge today? Beer and Sausages....UM
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #4 on: 19 June 2008, 13:43:13 »
LOL  ;D ;D ;D Where do you get them ::)
Logged

Mr Skrunts

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Skruntie Land.
  • Posts: 25689
  • 3.O Elite Saloon with all the toys,
    • 2003 CD 2.2 Auto
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #5 on: 19 June 2008, 13:49:32 »
Quote
LOL  ;D ;D ;D Where do you get them ::)

Normally from a shoe shop or wharehouse.....   Sotty, couldnt resist.    ;D ;D ;D ;D

I get a lot from a mate, we have been collecting them since we were first on the internet.
Logged
Ask yourself :  " WHY do I believe in what I believe?"

Remember that my opinions expressed here are not representative of the opinions of other members on the OOF Forum.

Vamps

  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bishop Middleham, Co Durham.
  • Posts: 24708
  • Flying Tonight, so Be Prepared.
    • Mig 2.6CDX and 2.2 Honda
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #6 on: 19 June 2008, 13:51:12 »
Quote
Quote
LOL  ;D ;D ;D Where do you get them ::)

Normally from a shoe shop or wharehouse.....   Sotty, couldnt resist.    ;D ;D ;D ;D

I get a lot from a mate, we have been collecting them since we were first on the internet.


ooooohhhhhhh dear, guess that means no shortage of them then. ;) ;) ;)
Logged

LJay

  • Omega Baron
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • North Wales
  • Posts: 3203
  • The Acrobatics Queen!
    • 3.2 - MV6 Big Blue!
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #7 on: 19 June 2008, 16:22:07 »
Keep them coming, they make me smile! :y
Logged
Been there, fallen over it!

Elite Pete

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Chester
  • Posts: 19580
  • My spider senses are tingling
    • Audi SQ5 GSX1400
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #8 on: 19 June 2008, 17:12:23 »
 ;D ;D

Logged
Retired

psychnurse

  • Omega Baron
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Leominster, Herefordshire
  • Posts: 2047
  • Whats in the fridge today? Beer and Sausages....UM
    • View Profile
Re: New Boot's
« Reply #9 on: 19 June 2008, 17:15:35 »
Keep it up mate!!! 06:30 was made much better by having a laugh this morning  :y ;D ;D
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »
 

Page created in 0.01 seconds with 16 queries.