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[Varche]

My elderly (90) disabled mother in law has lived in the same house for the last 65 years. She bought her council house.

Maybe 20 years ago a woman out of "benefits street" TV programme moved in next door into what had become a housing association property.

She lives on benefits, lifetime drug addict and has multiple children from unknown fathers. Some of those under age children are now parents of children of unknown fathers. They have zero regard for property maintenance. The back garden for example became so overgrown with weeds, brambles and conifers that grew to 50 foot in height blocking out all light. Sometimes the mother vanishes and lives elsewhere.

Complaints from the MIL about the rampant weeds growing through and over the six foot fence eventually resulted in some activity. The housing association sent workmen round who chopped a load of stuff down and threw it on the heap of the now sawn off conifer tops which themselves are hardly visible from the latest crop of weeds.

Recently they made an effort (maybe been given an ultimatum by the housing association) and cleared sufficient space for children to play in the back garden for the first time in twenty years. That led inevitably to frisbees and balls occasionally making their way into the MIL's garden. Shortly followed by knocking at the door "can we have our ball back". The MIL moves around extremely slowly and with difficulty by zimmer frame only so this has created a problem. My solution was to tell them anything that came over could be Knocked for and collected once a day at say 5 p.m.ONLY.

That went down like a lead balloon and since then the kids/young adults (as they are old enough to have had children) have started a campaign of silly things like when the family go out, one stays behind and knocks over the full dustbin and then runs on to join the rest. (that was witnessed by the SIL who visited one day). The MIL mobility scooter has been damaged while she goes inside and round to open up the garage.  They can often be heard muttering in the adjoining entryway and yesterday the MIL misplaced her front door key and went into a bad panic as she thought they'd come in and taken it.  On the phone last night she was reducing to whispering "in case they can hear me".

This all might sound like little things but it is having an effect on the MIL's health worrying about what next. Fire? brick threw a window.?

Anyway if you have managed to read so far, anyone got any advice please on a way forward.?  Don't hold out much hope from the H.Assoc as they'd need evidence and she's too old and frail and afraid to provide any.
     

[steve6367]

Not easy thing, but given MIL age and therefore I imagine not being ready for a long fight over the issues can she move?

I know it sound like giving up, but quality of life might be better than 'winning'.

If you want to fight I imagine other family member will need to spend a lot of time there and collecting and recoding evidence will be paramount if the authorities are to do anything.

Steve

[Varche]

Not easy thing, but given MIL age and therefore I imagine not being ready for a long fight over the issues can she move?

I know it sound like giving up, but quality of life might be better than 'winning'.

If you want to fight I imagine other family member will need to spend a lot of time there and collecting and recoding evidence will be paramount if the authorities are to do anything.

Steve

Not really an option. The house has too many memories and has over the years had many adaptations for disabled living. If she were to move it would be to a care home and that would probably finish her off.

[Andy B]

Would CCTV evidence be of any use? 

[mrgreen]

Shit situation,
maybe go around there and talk to them and try and reason with them if there is such a thing with these people, try and play on there sympathy if they have any, bad neighbours are the worst and i can imagine how your MIL is feeling right now, the next step I would take would be to send someone BIG around there "as a friend of your family" and talk with them, usually this works the best in my experience.

 the H.assoc and police  would be last resort as then you're labelled grass and blah blah in the mind of these towrags and it generally doesn't help but if you do go that route i would install cameras and start gathering evidence.

[cleggy]

Friends  called Base Ball and Bat

[mrgreen]

Friends  called Base Ball and Bat

+1

[steve6367]

Problem is, you / friend will then have committed a crime and you may just end up in trouble not them - May not go well once said friend has left and the MIL is on her own.

[Varche]

Good suggestions however nearest male family member is me 1700 miles away.

No Internet at the house but we have toyed with a having service put in purely to hook a Skype phone up to.Maybe we could have a couple of discrete live cams on that as well we could monitor from here. I guess they straight away would lob stones at them and create further distress and mess.

The Housing Association has a whole page of its website devoted to "fine words" about harrasment but would have to be involved at some stage. Whether that would result in them behaving decently as a result is anyones guess.

[Lizzie_Zoom]

Varche, you need to speak to your mother in laws local police about what is anti-social behaviour, with the added element of harassment and threatening behaviour by these individuals towards a disabled OAP.

In addition speak to the local council covering your mother in laws property and explain fully the issues.

Certainly the police take these crimes very seriously and will use their hate crime dept. to investigate and take action, working with the council, to resolve the issues permanently. If this "family" have already received warnings over previous actions then your input can only assist in a resolution.

PS If your mother in law lives in Kent I can give you some contact numbers for the police.

[mrgreen]

Varche, you need to speak to your mother in laws local police about what is anti-social behaviour, with the added element of harassment and threatening behaviour by these individuals towards a disabled OAP.

In addition speak to the local council covering your mother in laws property and explain fully the issues.

Certainly the police take these crimes very seriously and will use their hate crime dept. to investigate and take action, working with the council, to resolve the issues permanently. If this "family" have already received warnings over previous actions then your input can only assist in a resolution.

PS If your mother in law lives in Kent I can give you some contact numbers for the police.

do they really, i'm not always sure, we had a drug dealer living under us in Lewisham and they didn'T seem to care about that or the fact that he threatened one of the flatmates with a knife

[Lizzie_Zoom]

Oh yes they do, but they need often to build a case and gather evidence before taking the final action the public seek. Sometimes this means a gradual process of warnings, cautions, and then arrests before full resolution is possible.

Do not forget the process of law must be thorough and the police are required to satisfy the Crown Prosecution Service that a prosecution, or lesser action, is possible. This can seem a lengthy process at times, and can be in fact due to legal complications.

It all requires intelligence from the general public to assist the police achieve what we all want.
 

[flyer 0712]

Lizzie I agree it all takes time to build up a case against scum like that,however to try to sort this out nicely it has to begin somewhere...If your m.i.l. is capable could she note down,days..times..and  happenings  of these people over a period of say 4 weeks...could you install cctv with a recorder to build up a case of harassment...and then present it to the old bill and housing association as evidence .......Can social services help by going in to see her so that they see people going in and out....Makes me so angry that a person of that age and who is so helpless cant get the protection that she is entitled too,,,,,I would go banging on doors,,police...housing association .....and bang ,and bang and bang until someone took notice of the situation she is in....The yobs like them all have something in common,,big mouths that make big noises and they are listened to....(arh poor things )...so start shouting yourself and hope fully you will be heard too.

[flyer 0712]

Or   send in the heavies 

[Gaffers]

CCTV and follow up with the police. They can be evicted if they are found guilty of being anti-social.  You just need the proof