That's nothing, a few weeks back I caught my left arm in the tailgate of the Omega Estate, it was a late Sunday Evening around the back of the garages where nobody ventures, to make matters worse the House next to me had a lose drain down pipe and water was gushing down all over my face, I thought I was going to drown.
All I had on me was a small blunt penknife, giving a choice of crying for help, or man up, I decided to do the honourable thing and start hacking at my arm. The flesh part was relatively easy until I got to the bone, the knife was having no effect and the blood was making it all very slippery, I kept on hacking at the bone, like a blunt axe to a tree, till eventually I had chipped enough away and could crack the bone, persistently moving it backwards and forwards I heard the final cracking noise and I had succeeded my escape.
I went back indoors, took a couple of Aspirin and used some Gaffer Tape to hide any evidence of seeping blood that was still dripping from the parts of my remaining arm. I sat with the rest of the family to enjoy the rest of the evening, I cracked open a few beers and laughed and joked with my Boys before getting a good nights sleep and ready for work the next day.
That was a few weeks back now and things are fine, my arm is still trapped in the tailgate to serve me as a reminder of my stupidity every time I reverse the car, the only downside is the gear lever which is now becoming a sticky mess of gangrene where the mouldy fresh is starting to come away from the exposed bone. Maybe next time I have Gay moment I will get that seen to next time I get the car valeted.
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Topic: Manflu (Read 5694 times)