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[STEMO]

Just been over to see the doc about getting my ears syringed. "You should have seen the nurse" he says, "I know, but your receptionist said I had to see you first". Deep sigh. "Let me have a look. Hmmmmm....they need syringing, make an appointment with the nurse".

Back at reception, no appointments with nursie for two weeks. You can ring the district nurse, she'll do it. Here's her number.

Back home and ring district nurse. "Are you mobile?" "Yes" "I've got an appointment at Royston for 12 on Wednesday "  "OK, where is the medical place in Royston."

It's on blah blah road, it's an old wooden building, look's a bit like a hut. It's got a 'for sale' sign on it, but don't let that put you off" 

Kinnel.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Wassat? 

[STEMO]

Wassat? 

I've been using drops for the last three days, so they're not that bad. But..........doc said to me "Do you pay for your prescriptions?" "No, I'm over sixty" "Here's a script for a bottle of Otex" "I don't really need........" "'Ave it!!"   "OK" 

[KSR]

Yeah dont talk about it.


They seem to hate synriging ears...

[Varche]

Oh crikey.

The sooner they introduce half doctors in the UK the better. Keeping full doctors for important stuff.

I made an appointment (on line at a time that suited me) to see my Spanish doctor as I was a bit concerned about how sore my post op wound was.. Got there and while I was waiting, the nurse clocked me and said how is your wound? Come in lets have a look. No that is quite normal. No need to bother the doctor,  Pop in next week and I will take half the staples out. Off you go.

Got home and the phone was ringing. Regional admin. " Why didn't you turn up for your doctor app?   

[Shackeng]

Prescribed pills received last week: Doc's label on front: 'Suck one 4 times a day'
Manufacturers instructions inside: 'Do not suck these tablets'.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

The sexy nurse will get rid of the wax and put a tit in your ear instead.

[STEMO]

The sexy nurse will get rid of the wax and put a tit in your ear instead.

And what will it be if it's a male nurse?

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Wassat? 

I've been using drops for the last three days, so they're not that bad. But..........doc said to me "Do you pay for your prescriptions?" "No, I'm over sixty" "Here's a script for a bottle of Otex" "I don't really need........" "'Ave it!!"   "OK" 

They usually ask that you try drops for a week or so before they decide to syringe your 'lugs'

I had a solid ball of wax the size of a pea come out of my ear.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

The sexy nurse will get rid of the wax and put a tit in your ear instead.

And what will it be if it's a male nurse?

I dread to think.

[pauls]

You only need a tin of this

http://www.screwfix.com/p/arctic-air-duster-150ml/57314

[Diamond Black Geezer]

If it helps they're now introducing all nurses to start at degree level, ie: close to the 'half-doctors' route you suggest, so withing the next 20 years almost all nurses will be at the higher level. It's really interesting watching the process, and the indepth level the studying goes to. Case studies, psychology, history of medicine, essays, placements, not just 'learning all the bodyparts, and how to do injections' like you'd imagine it is, to be a nurse.

Fingers crossed there's still an NHS for them to be employed in, in 10-20 years. 

[Shackeng]

If it helps they're now introducing all nurses to start at degree level, ie: close to the 'half-doctors' route you suggest, so withing the next 20 years almost all nurses will be at the higher level. It's really interesting watching the process, and the indepth level the studying goes to. Case studies, psychology, history of medicine, essays, placements, not just 'learning all the bodyparts, and how to do injections' like you'd imagine it is, to be a nurse.

Fingers crossed there's still an NHS for them to be employed in, in 10-20 years. 

So there will be even less incentive for them to actually nurse patients. Sigh...

[Diamond Black Geezer]

I hear what you're saying... Sadly now, and indeed in years gone by, at no point in becoming a nurse is there a module, or qualification called 'how to care'. There is stuff in there about how to not offend people with the wrong phrases, food or treatment, there is stuff about understanding how not to be sued by the people you tried to save the life of (and, yes, being sued by people you have just saved the life of, it happens  ) and ever-more pedantic terminology. Now this isn't me suggesting that nurses don't, by and large care, and don't do a brilliant job, because they most certainly do. However, yes, it's going more academic, yes it's intended to push nurses closer to the skillset of doctors, and theoretically help relieve strain from them.

I suppose it's that choice between would you rather have someone with a lovely soothing voice patting your hand as you die, after giving you the wrong medicine, because they got confused, or someone who has professional detachment, but ultimately gets you better.

[Varche]

If I was younger , I would love to get involved with the NHS reform.

Came across a brilliant methodology last week. Elderly uncle in hopsital in Leicester and he can't see or hear very well and isn't bothered about eating. So they use a red tray. If patient hasn't eaten then a nurse helps them otherwise they die of malnutrition (you see i am a half nurse). His sister suffered the same thing in a variety of Scottish hospitals - not one had red tray scheme! They just cleared the tray away without even asking . Sometimes she didn't even know it had been mealtime she too is registered blind and hard of hearing. How hard could it be to adopt best practices.

In fact while I am at it, if a patient has a disability write it on the whiteboard above the bed. Times a doctor came to the bottom of the bed out of sight and earshot and mumbled something about progress.

Ear wax. There must be a multi dremmel fitting for getting in the awkward corners.