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[tigers_gonads]

Sat down last night with the missus and the conversation went back to when we was all kids and our parents used to tell us porkies to shut us up 


Stick your memories on here 




I'll start ............

Don't pull that face because if the wind changes, it will stay like that

Don't eat the apple pips or you will get a apple tree growing in your tummy 

The ice cream van plays that sound when he has run out of ice cream (evil bastids my mam and dad  )

Eat that burnt toast, it will put curls in your hair (said to my sister all the time  )

Stop picking your nose or your head will cave in ........

When you grow up and pass your test, don’t drive like that idiot doing 100 MPH in the fast lane, because you don’t get there any quicker.

Get a trade, get a good job with a good firm and keep your head down - job for life son................

[STEMO]

My dad used to say "I'll throw you up through the top window, you pass the gear down, lad. If the police come, I won't run away and leave you".
I fell for it every time 

[Nick W]

Don't worry, it can't get any worse.

Which is 'dangle berries', because things can always get worse

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Don't worry, it can't get any worse.

Which is 'dangle berries', because things can always get worse

Would you say you are blessed with an optimistic nature, Nick?......

[btc]

This will hurt me more than it does you as he skelpt my arse 

[Mr Skrunts]

Shut the door, were you born in a field

Do you think money grows on tree's

Do you think we were born yesterday

[zirk]

Dont listen to Politicians.

[Marks DTM Calib]

Stop playing with it or it will fall off.....

.....it hasn't, yet!

[Nick W]

Don't worry, it can't get any worse.

Which is 'dangle berries', because things can always get worse

Would you say you are blessed with an optimistic nature, Nick?......

Life has worn it out. Especially recently.

[Diamond Black Geezer]

Stop playing with it or it will fall off.....

.....it hasn't, yet!

that suggests you're typing this one-handed, then? 


Don't watch too much telly, you're get square eyes / rots your brains

He (the massive spider) is more scared of you that you are of it

They can't get pregnant if you do it standing up




Ok, so the last one I made up 

[tigers_gonads]

Shut the door, were you born in a field

Do you think money grows on tree's

Do you think we were born yesterday

 

My mother said that to me when I was about 10 years old 
I didn't know were to look what the old man laughed and said I might have been conceived in one 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

My late father used to say.

Women talk a lot, but rarely about anything important.

[Sir Tigger KC]

My late father used to say.

Women talk a lot, but rarely about anything important.

Ah the apple rarely falls far from the tree M'lud. 

[Doctor Gollum]

Your father does love you. He simply chooses not to show it.

[raywilb]

come here & I,ll box yer ears. so i.d run off.