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Author Topic: Joke Time - I'm Bored  (Read 524 times)

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Mr Skrunts

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Joke Time - I'm Bored
« on: 26 July 2008, 12:12:06 »
[size=12]
A job negotiator and a feminist were in dispute... The feminist was argueing over the different pay scales that her women were receiving...
Fem: Okay, why are women paid less than men for doing the same job that a man does.
Neg: It says in the Bible that women are worth less than men.
Fem: Where does it say that? I don't think so.
Neg: Well, you do agree that woman was made from a rib, correct?
Fem: Yeah, so?
Neg: Well, there you have it. A rib is a cheaper cut of meat![/size]
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #1 on: 26 July 2008, 12:15:32 »
[size=12]

A Man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A Woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need

A Woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

Married men live longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change but she does [/size]
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #2 on: 26 July 2008, 12:17:08 »

[size=12]What Men Mean


Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass

I'm a Romantic = I'm poor

I need you" = My hand is tired

I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised

I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation

You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me

I really want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it

It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head

he's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue

I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me

I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good

Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood

How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small

I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you

o you love me? = I've done something stupid and you might find out

Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later

How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now

I have something to tell you = Get tested

I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again

I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk

I think we should just be friends = You're ugly

I've learned a lot from you = Next [/size]
« Last Edit: 26 July 2008, 12:20:29 by skruntie »
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #3 on: 26 July 2008, 12:18:41 »

[size=12]12 Inches Required

3 men walk into a bar.

After they drink a couple of beers they are ready to leave, but the bartender won't let them unless they have 12 inches of dick between them.

The first guy whips his out and shows 6 inches.

The second guy drops his pants and shows 5 inches.

Finally, the third guy shows his 1 inch dick.

The bartender says "Ok, thats 12 inches you can go".

As the're walking away the first guy said to the third, "Thank god you had a boner or we'd still be there." [/size]
« Last Edit: 26 July 2008, 12:20:18 by skruntie »
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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #4 on: 26 July 2008, 12:19:56 »

 [size=12]Sex in the dark

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.

After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" [/size]
« Last Edit: 26 July 2008, 12:20:09 by skruntie »
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FRE07962128

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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #5 on: 26 July 2008, 12:39:31 »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

You certainly can see that you are bored Skruntie!! ;D :D
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Plomien

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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #6 on: 26 July 2008, 12:41:11 »
They brought a smile to my face thanks Skruntie  :y
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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #7 on: 26 July 2008, 12:43:01 »
Quote
They brought a smile to my face thanks Skruntie  :y

Try my best.

Thought Saturday afternoon there would be something good on TV, affraid thats the biggest joke of them all. :-/
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Re: Joke Time - I'm Bored
« Reply #8 on: 26 July 2008, 12:48:45 »
[size=12]
Bedside Wife

A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.

He said, " Martha, I have something to confess to you."

She said, "No dear, save your energy."

He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."

She said, " I know, I poisoned you." [/size]
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