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Please play nicely.  No one wants to listen/read a keyboard warriors rants....

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Author Topic: One for the Girls  (Read 696 times)

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M16

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One for the Girls
« on: 03 August 2008, 23:28:02 »


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX  
   (because they are plugged into a genius)
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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?    
    (they don't have enough time)
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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
     (they don't stop to ask directions)
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4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
 (because their b@lls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
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(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?  
 (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
 (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
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7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
 (don't know.....it never happened)
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    ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
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And the personal favorite:  
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
     (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face andlaughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
And they say blondes are dumb...
---------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'  

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'  
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor  
------- ---------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.  AMEN  
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Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.  
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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dieseldean

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Re: One for the Girls
« Reply #1 on: 03 August 2008, 23:34:53 »
 ;D jokes like that your missus must bhe on your laptop  ;D
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Debs.

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Re: One for the Girls
« Reply #2 on: 04 August 2008, 06:37:35 »
 ;D Now, they`re hilarious; had me ROTFLOL! :y
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FRE07962128

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Re: One for the Girls
« Reply #3 on: 04 August 2008, 06:41:21 »
Really to the point Damien and brilliant! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Apart from Skruntie, you are one of the few men on here bold enough to give us woman this type of support!! ;D ;D :D ;)  Keep it up.....the joke writing!!!!! :D :y
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amigov6

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Re: One for the Girls
« Reply #4 on: 04 August 2008, 22:22:28 »
Man get's home from work. Wife tells him she scraped the car @ the supermarket. Man has a rant, women drivers blah de blah,
    Wife shoots him down in flames with, "that's because you blokes keep telling us 6 inches is a foot"!!! :D
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maria

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Re: One for the Girls
« Reply #5 on: 04 August 2008, 23:03:17 »
Now they made me laugh :y ;D
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: One for the Girls
« Reply #6 on: 04 August 2008, 23:05:14 »
Quote
Really to the point Damien and brilliant! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Apart from Skruntie, you are one of the few men on here bold enough to give us woman this type of support!! ;D ;D :D ;)  Keep it up.....the joke writing!!!!! :D :y

Haha, that's a joke all on it's own for me these day's.   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D   Nobody love's me anymore.   :-/ :-/ :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
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maria

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Re: One for the Girls
« Reply #7 on: 04 August 2008, 23:07:15 »
Quote
Quote
Really to the point Damien and brilliant! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Apart from Skruntie, you are one of the few men on here bold enough to give us woman this type of support!! ;D ;D :D ;)  Keep it up.....the joke writing!!!!! :D :y

Haha, that's a joke all on it's own for me these day's.   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D   Nobody love's me anymore.   :-/ :-/ :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(


aw you poor thing ::)
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