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[STEMO]

I rang up on Monday to claim mine for this year, I wasn't sure about the timescale but I am old enough. Got through to a young chap in Newcastle, and I've never been treated like this on the phone before. He spoke really s l o w l y and repeated every answer back to me. Asked me if I had any idea what my national insurance number was...erm...yes..I have. Then, towards the end...are you married? Yes. And can you remember the date you got married? I was waiting for him to say 'take your time'.
I got right into it and the end and said 'Thanks for being so kind, son' and he was chuffed. 

Now....how can I convince the wife that I'm old and infirm so she doesn't make me do.....'things'. 

[Bigron]

Mind you don't "have a fall" when you go out - make sure that nursey is with you. 

Ron.

[STEMO]

Mind you don't "have a fall" when you go out - make sure that nursey is with you. 

Ron.

After I'd finished speaking with him, Ron, I went for a quick three mile walk with the dog. 

[Sir Tigger KC]

You should phone up Arlene and thank her for her efforts in making sure that wealthy old codgers like you continue to get it! 

[STEMO]

You should phone up Arlene and thank her for her efforts in making sure that wealthy old codgers like you continue to get it! 

I'm not wealthy, Sir Tig, I haven't got a pot to piss in 

[Sir Tigger KC]

You should phone up Arlene and thank her for her efforts in making sure that wealthy old codgers like you continue to get it! 

I'm not wealthy, Sir Tig, I haven't got a pot to piss in 

Ah shame.  Maybe Lord Opti will lend you a few quid? 

[STEMO]

The £200 I get will buy me some fuel and a pair of thermal long johns. In Barnsley, we put them on in November and take them off again in April.

[STEMO]

You should phone up Arlene and thank her for her efforts in making sure that wealthy old codgers like you continue to get it! 

I'm not wealthy, Sir Tig, I haven't got a pot to piss in 

Ah shame.  Maybe Lord Opti will lend you a few quid? 

He has a jag to run, and an account with pc world to maintain.

[Sir Tigger KC]

You should phone up Arlene and thank her for her efforts in making sure that wealthy old codgers like you continue to get it! 

I'm not wealthy, Sir Tig, I haven't got a pot to piss in 

Ah shame.  Maybe Lord Opti will lend you a few quid? 

He has a jag to run, and an account with pc world to maintain.

Ah yes I forgot, he hasn't got a pot to piss in either! 

[Bigron]

You should phone up Arlene and thank her for her efforts in making sure that wealthy old codgers like you continue to get it! 

I'm not wealthy, Sir Tig, I haven't got a pot to piss in 

Ahem, at your age and degree of incontinence, do you really need a pot?

Ron. (Sorry!)

[STEMO]

If the public pay sector cap is 'softened' we may be able to afford a proper toilet, Ron.

[Sir Tigger KC]

If the public pay sector cap is 'softened' we may be able to afford a proper toilet, Ron.

There's been talk of tax increases today from my MP Oliver Letwin. 

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

Hes already trying to lose the next election then ! 

[Sir Tigger KC]

Unless there's another election imminently I don't think he'll be standing again, so I guess he can say what he wants! 

[STEMO]

If the public pay sector cap is 'softened' we may be able to afford a proper toilet, Ron.

There's been talk of tax increases today from my MP Oliver Letwin. 

Oliver who? That silly little twerp pops his head up now and again, but is usually slapped down and then sulks for a couple of years.