This car is going to keep me busy for a little while.

Pulled up in Surrey to buy, and fair play the car was gleaming. He had well under-sold the condition. Apart from a couple of almost un-noticable bumper scuffs and some marks on the alloys, the only word I can find is mint. And the interior looks like it came straight from the showroom, it really is immaculate for the money. And all the onboard systems work (not tested CD changer yet). The BOSE is AWESOME 8-)
But that's where the honesty in the ad ends.
When the seller wrote on his ad "drives very smoothly" - what he failed to add on the end of that sentance was, "until it changes into top gear, when the transmissions slips like bu99ery and it
thumps into gear

I will check the level in the morning, but in short, I think the gearbox is rubber ducked.
Also, when driving along the road, it began to tramline like a goodun and generally felt extremely unstable. I stopped and checked tyre pressures - agh.... 15psi in one front - so I corrected these and it was a million times better. Still tramlining a bit though - I suspect steering idler and maybe wishbones need changing.
The engine - when I stopped, I couldn't re-start it. Signs of flat battery

Finally got it to catch and noticed that the negative battery terminal was red hot. Poor earth, resulting in poor charging is my guess. Not too difficult a fix.
There is a noticable smell of hot oil - haven't inspected yet 'cos it's dark, but ususal camcover suspect is probably high on the agenda.
Also, the engine - something is amiss. It's full of power and very smooth, but at a steady 68mph on cruise on the M4, I struggled to get 23mpg. I know it's not an economical car, I don't expect that - but this doesn't ring right. Darn good service and take it from there, I think - I suspect the cam timing is way out, the belt definately wasn't done at a dealer last, and I doubt they had the setting kit like we do!
Pulled up at Maria's at about half past midnight after a 4 hrs drive home. Went to take her for a little spin around the block - won't start! It fires, and idles very low, with no throttle response at all. I've a horrible feeling it's run out of petrol, as I ran it on red for a while before getting home, so I probably can't blame anyone but myself for that!

(Range says 22 miles, tho!)
Also, the wipers seem to rest half way up the screen. They go to the bottom, but then come up. Will need to investigate that too.
In short, this is a VERY nice car and once it's had these jobs done, will be a real gem. I need to do at minimum:
Cambelt kit, water pump, aux belt, aux belt tensioner.
Camcover gaskets, full breather clean, full service.
Check out and most likely replace the gearbox
New wishbones, new steering idler, check all other suspension and get it setup.
Code read - investigate any errors.
Check all brake components and consider a fluid change
The thing that really annoys me here, is that the seller wasn't honest.
I appreciate it's a case of buyer beware, and I won't complain to him,
but He should have put on the ad that it had a major fault with the transmission! He cannot have not known if he drove the car.
The stupid thing is, even with the faults found this car was still a real bargain at what I paid, and I wouldn't have minded at all - I just feel really disheartened that he thought he had to hide it.
Oh well, enough of my rambling. I may sound a bit fed up, but TBH it's better than I expected and I am pleased with my buy. I will sort out the known issues and I think this will be a VERY nice car.
On the other hand, if I wasn't mechanically competent to do these jobs myself and with my enthusiast mates here, I would be screwed. It would cost more than the car is worth for a garage to do that lot, whereas in reality for me it won't be a huge amount of money, moreso time.
I think I'd be crying if I bought it and didn't know how to fix it.
Just goes to show - trust nobody
