Qualcast VTEC.

[dave the builder]

hope you declared these performance modifications to your insurer 
you'll be lowering it next  and fitting alloy wheels   

[Doctor Gollum]

hope you declared these performance modifications to your insurer 
you'll be lowering it next  and fitting alloy wheels   

Wide wheels are actually good for the lawn as they prevent bogging

[TheBoy]

I got banned from the local Go-Kart track when I found I could reach behind me and open the throttle properly on the engine, so I pissed past all the restricted Karts!   

Is your mower self propelled M'lud? 

If so you should be careful at your age!   

Yes.....SP.

But it does not work that well.

Just as well then, as I can see the headline in the Lincolnshire Post.....

"Elderly aristocrat dragged through hedge by modified mower!"    

Must have been one hell of a bush to need a mower to trim it up...

[TheBoy]

Reading this, I wonder if I should do the same to mine, as although it does the job and never stalls, the actual cut could be better, no matter how much I sharpen the blade 


When I say "I", I was thinking more of driving around Oxfordshire until I see a black estate, and dumping it there, with a post-it saying I want a GTi conversion.

[YZ250]

Reading this, I wonder if I should do the same to mine, as although it does the job and never stalls, the actual cut could be better, no matter how much I sharpen the blade 


When I say "I", I was thinking more of driving around Oxfordshire until I see a black estate, and dumping it there, with a post-it saying I want a GTi conversion.

I don't mind having a look.    

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

hope you declared these performance modifications to your insurer 
you'll be lowering it next  and fitting alloy wheels   

Wide wheels are actually good for the lawn as they prevent bogging

The fake plastic tyres on small wheels give little grip.......

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I got banned from the local Go-Kart track when I found I could reach behind me and open the throttle properly on the engine, so I pissed past all the restricted Karts!   

Is your mower self propelled M'lud? 

If so you should be careful at your age!   

Yes.....SP.

But it does not work that well.

Just as well then, as I can see the headline in the Lincolnshire Post.....

"Elderly aristocrat dragged through hedge by modified mower!"    

Must have been one hell of a bush to need a mower to trim it up...

When you say 'bush' do you refer to a garden bush or a lady garden porn bush from the seventies?

Please clarify.

[STEMO]

hope you declared these performance modifications to your insurer 
you'll be lowering it next  and fitting alloy wheels   

Wide wheels are actually good for the lawn as they prevent bogging

The fake plastic tyres on small wheels give little grip.......

Fake plastic? What are they then, rubber? 

[Sir Tigger KC]

hope you declared these performance modifications to your insurer 
you'll be lowering it next  and fitting alloy wheels   

Wide wheels are actually good for the lawn as they prevent bogging

The fake plastic tyres on small wheels give little grip.......

Fake plastic? What are they then, rubber? 

I can see this turning into a mower tyre thread!   

[Lizzie Zoom]

hope you declared these performance modifications to your insurer 
you'll be lowering it next  and fitting alloy wheels   

Wide wheels are actually good for the lawn as they prevent bogging

The fake plastic tyres on small wheels give little grip.......

Fake plastic? What are they then, rubber? 

I can see this turning into a mower tyre thread!   

I suppose Opti you will not have to fit winter tyres on your mower for the rare event of snow in June?

[Doctor Gollum]

I got banned from the local Go-Kart track when I found I could reach behind me and open the throttle properly on the engine, so I pissed past all the restricted Karts!   

Is your mower self propelled M'lud? 

If so you should be careful at your age!   

Yes.....SP.

But it does not work that well.

Just as well then, as I can see the headline in the Lincolnshire Post.....

"Elderly aristocrat dragged through hedge by modified mower!"    

Must have been one hell of a bush to need a mower to trim it up...

When you say 'bush' do you refer to a garden bush or a lady garden porn bush from the seventies?

Please clarify.

Does it matter either way? 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

hope you declared these performance modifications to your insurer 
you'll be lowering it next  and fitting alloy wheels   

Wide wheels are actually good for the lawn as they prevent bogging

The fake plastic tyres on small wheels give little grip.......

Fake plastic? What are they then, rubber? 

Nobody likes a smartarse scouser.........

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I got banned from the local Go-Kart track when I found I could reach behind me and open the throttle properly on the engine, so I pissed past all the restricted Karts!   

Is your mower self propelled M'lud? 

If so you should be careful at your age!   

Yes.....SP.

But it does not work that well.

Just as well then, as I can see the headline in the Lincolnshire Post.....

"Elderly aristocrat dragged through hedge by modified mower!"    

Must have been one hell of a bush to need a mower to trim it up...

When you say 'bush' do you refer to a garden bush or a lady garden porn bush from the seventies?

Please clarify.

Does it matter either way? 

I imagine the shaving rash will be worse if a mower is used to trim a lady garden.

[Doctor Gollum]

Real men prune with their teeth.

[TheBoy]

Reading this, I wonder if I should do the same to mine, as although it does the job and never stalls, the actual cut could be better, no matter how much I sharpen the blade 


When I say "I", I was thinking more of driving around Oxfordshire until I see a black estate, and dumping it there, with a post-it saying I want a GTi conversion.

I don't mind having a look.   

I actually filled it up to brim with petrol today, and it ran worse.  I think the fact I usually am running it on fumes makes it a bit lean, and it revs better