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[Sir Tigger KC]

An English Lesson With Little Johnnie!

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

[STEMO]

  Little Johnny should be excluded.

[Nick W]

What about at the supermarket ..... 10 items or less? Should apparently be 10 items or fewer 

it relates to count or measure quantities. If you can put a number on it, then 'fewer' is grammatically correct - less money, fewer coins. The distinction exists, so getting it right can be good for your credibility in certain circumstances; a published paper would be a good example.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

However...'a pony' in the singular can be 'a few ponies' in the plural.

Who said English was not difficult? 

Or in good old Cockney £25, but then you do not say a "few ponies".  You say "a ton" for £100, or "a monkey" for £500! But all that would really start to confuse anyone outside London!

I can never understand why the word things is pronounced 'fings'.... and three is pronounced 'free'. Is there a reason for this or is it just a case of 'lazy speech'?

[Lizzie Zoom]

However...'a pony' in the singular can be 'a few ponies' in the plural.

Who said English was not difficult? 

Or in good old Cockney £25, but then you do not say a "few ponies".  You say "a ton" for £100, or "a monkey" for £500! But all that would really start to confuse anyone outside London!

I can never understand why the word things is pronounced 'fings'.... and three is pronounced 'free'. Is there a reason for this or is it just a case of 'lazy speech'?

It is like "barf" for bath or "larf" for laugh and many other examples which are common in South East London as well as the East End.  It is just everyday language that people just 'do'.  Rather like the Bristolians add "l" after any word ending in "a" ; idea becomes "ideal", area becomes "areal" and Cortina was always "Cortinal"

I class it as Regional accent differences, as you will find in Geordie or Liverpudlian.  All great stuff, and shows our individuality as people from different parts.

[Andy B]

However...'a pony' in the singular can be 'a few ponies' in the plural.

Who said English was not difficult? 

Or in good old Cockney £25, but then you do not say a "few ponies".  You say "a ton" for £100, or "a monkey" for £500! But all that would really start to confuse anyone outside London!

I can never understand why the word things is pronounced 'fings'.... and three is pronounced 'free'. Is there a reason for this or is it just a case of 'lazy speech'?

It is like "barf" for bath or "larf" for laugh and many other examples which are common in South East London as well as the East End.  It is just everyday language that people just 'do'.  Rather like the Bristolians add "l" after any word ending in "a" ; idea becomes "ideal", area becomes "areal" and Cortina was always "Cortinal"

I class it as Regional accent differences, as you will find in Geordie or Liverpudlian.  All great stuff, and shows our individuality as people from different parts.

If we're having fs for ths then it's baff & laff ......  No R in bath or laugh 

fs instead of ths gets right on my t1ts but it's become very common up here up and around here. My grand daughter's Mum does it so consequently Chloe says it too ..... she gets corrected but I think gets confused over it (she is only four  )

[STEMO]

However...'a pony' in the singular can be 'a few ponies' in the plural.

Who said English was not difficult? 

Or in good old Cockney £25, but then you do not say a "few ponies".  You say "a ton" for £100, or "a monkey" for £500! But all that would really start to confuse anyone outside London!

I can never understand why the word things is pronounced 'fings'.... and three is pronounced 'free'. Is there a reason for this or is it just a case of 'lazy speech'?

It is like "barf" for bath or "larf" for laugh and many other examples which are common in South East London as well as the East End.  It is just everyday language that people just 'do'.  Rather like the Bristolians add "l" after any word ending in "a" ; idea becomes "ideal", area becomes "areal" and Cortina was always "Cortinal"

I class it as Regional accent differences, as you will find in Geordie or Liverpudlian.  All great stuff, and shows our individuality as people from different parts.

If we're having fs for ths then it's baff & laff ......  No R in bath or laugh 

fs instead of ths gets right on my t1ts but it's become very common up here up and around here. My grand daughter's Mum does it so consequently Chloe says it too ..... she gets corrected but I think gets confused over it (she is only four  )

You mean your daughter in law then? 

[STEMO]

Unless it's your daughter 

[Andy B]

....
You mean your daughter in law then? 

Not really as my grand daughter's Mum & Dad are no longer together ....

consequently Chloe gets passed from pillar to post 

[Lizzie Zoom]

However...'a pony' in the singular can be 'a few ponies' in the plural.

Who said English was not difficult? 

Or in good old Cockney £25, but then you do not say a "few ponies".  You say "a ton" for £100, or "a monkey" for £500! But all that would really start to confuse anyone outside London!

I can never understand why the word things is pronounced 'fings'.... and three is pronounced 'free'. Is there a reason for this or is it just a case of 'lazy speech'?

It is like "barf" for bath or "larf" for laugh and many other examples which are common in South East London as well as the East End.  It is just everyday language that people just 'do'.  Rather like the Bristolians add "l" after any word ending in "a" ; idea becomes "ideal", area becomes "areal" and Cortina was always "Cortinal"

I class it as Regional accent differences, as you will find in Geordie or Liverpudlian.  All great stuff, and shows our individuality as people from different parts.

If we're having fs for ths then it's baff & laff ......  No R in bath or laugh 

fs instead of ths gets right on my t1ts but it's become very common up here up and around here. My grand daughter's Mum does it so consequently Chloe says it too ..... she gets corrected but I think gets confused over it (she is only four  )

"R's" were, and are, definitely present in my part of a South London family, and where I lived for a number of years with an Eastender mum, but a South London boyfriend until he became my husband, so I do know! My father was true South London, from Bermondsey, and he was a master at talking with the true local accent and pronunciations, along with often using Cockney slang, although he was not an Eastender, or born within the sound of Bow Bells.  My mum could not claim that, but both my grandmother and great grandmother certainly could and spoke Cockney slang! 

Otherwise "Baff", for instance, would never be recognised as a version of bath.  The secret is that the normal "th" is never pronounced without the sound of "rf" at the end of the word. In other words the tongue is not put between the teeth, but kept within the mouth when pronouncing words ending "th".  Hence, bath is pronounced as "barf"

[Andy B]

....

"R's" were, and are, definitely present in my part of a South London family, and where I lived for a number of years with an Eastender mum, but a South London boyfriend until he became my husband, so I do know! My father was true South London, from Bermondsey, and he was a master at talking with the true local accent and pronunciations, along with often using Cockney slang, although he was not an Eastender, or born within the sound of Bow Bells.  My mum could not claim that, but both my grandmother and great grandmother certainly could and spoke Cockney slang! 

Otherwise "Baff", for instance, would never be recognised as a version of bath.  The secret is that the normal "th" is never pronounced without the sound of "rf" at the end of the word. In other words the tongue is not put between the teeth, but kept within the mouth when pronouncing words ending "th"

 
Just  a Norff north Souff South thing 

[Lizzie Zoom]

....

"R's" were, and are, definitely present in my part of a South London family, and where I lived for a number of years with an Eastender mum, but a South London boyfriend until he became my husband, so I do know! My father was true South London, from Bermondsey, and he was a master at talking with the true local accent and pronunciations, along with often using Cockney slang, although he was not an Eastender, or born within the sound of Bow Bells.  My mum could not claim that, but both my grandmother and great grandmother certainly could and spoke Cockney slang! 

Otherwise "Baff", for instance, would never be recognised as a version of bath.  The secret is that the normal "th" is never pronounced without the sound of "rf" at the end of the word. In other words the tongue is not put between the teeth, but kept within the mouth when pronouncing words ending "th"

 
Just  a Norff north Souff South thing 

Yep, that it is and great it is too!

Imagine if we ALL spoke that "proper" English you can still hear if you watch the old newsreels of the 1940's and hear the public broadcasting of the 1950's?!  Even people being interviewed, that are truly proud working class, put on voices they would never use day to day!

[STEMO]

....
You mean your daughter in law then? 

Not really as my grand daughter's Mum & Dad are no longer together ....

consequently Chloe gets passed from pillar to post 

Oh.....sorry 

[BazaJT]

Don't posh people have a barth and put an "R" into several other words that don't have one in their spelling?It's often said[although I don't know if it's true]that Cockney rhyming slang came about to confuse the Irish immigrant workers of the time.My mother -who didn't speak with a broad Yorkshire accent-still nonetheless had a "telephone voice" when first answering the phone and which she kept up unless it was someone she found she knew.

[Lizzie Zoom]

Don't posh people have a barth and put an "R" into several other words that don't have one in their spelling?It's often said[although I don't know if it's true]that Cockney rhyming slang came about to confuse the Irish immigrant workers of the time.My mother -who didn't speak with a broad Yorkshire accent-still nonetheless had a "telephone voice" when first answering the phone and which she kept up unless it was someone she found she knew.

I’ve mentioned my Eastenders mum, well at the end of the war she trained and then worked as a GPO telephonist.  She ended up having a voice just like those perfectly speaking women in the early broadcasting days on the BBC. However, the fact she had now a trained “Queen’s English” voice so annoyed my Nan and great Nan. They considered that she had forgotten her roots, betrayed her Eastenders beginnings, and thought she was above everyone! I remember well my Nan in particular moaning about my mum’s falseness!

Funny days!