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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

It's the central locking system again......had the same problem with my previous XFR.

The annoying double beep and the doors wont lock with either key, or the door button. Of course the problem, being a devious little f*ucker, decides to pick and choose when it reveals itself so as to create maximum embarrassment. Five times in a day, or not at all for a week. Who knows.

Anyway......took her to the dealer sat back and enjoyed free posh coffee served by a fragrant well groomed receptionist aged about thirty.

An hour and a half later they informed me they could find no fault but had cleared all previous codes (were there any? )and said that if the problem manifests itself again it will throw up a code and they will be able to deal with it.

Hmmm.

[STEMO]

Piece of junk. Get yourself a nice diesel astra, no faults on mine in the nearly 4 years I've had it.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Piece of junk. Get yourself a nice diesel astra, no faults on mine in the nearly 4 years I've had it.

It would be nice, but sadly I can only aspire to own an Astra derv.

I'm disappointed to say I will probably never be fortunate enough to own one.

You are a very lucky man.

[STEMO]

Piece of junk. Get yourself a nice diesel astra, no faults on mine in the nearly 4 years I've had it.

It would be nice, but sadly I can only aspire to own an Astra derv.

I'm disappointed to say I will probably never be fortunate enough to own one.

You are a very lucky man.

I've offered to swap, it's up to you. Do you want an expensive, fast car that lives in the workshop, or a reliable, useful car that runs perfectly every day? 

[STEMO]

Mine would probably tow yours no bother when you next break down. Give me a shout, if I'm near I'll drag you down to the dealer. Of course, because you drive a jag, I'd be obliged to charge you £700. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Piece of junk. Get yourself a nice diesel astra, no faults on mine in the nearly 4 years I've had it.

It would be nice, but sadly I can only aspire to own an Astra derv.

I'm disappointed to say I will probably never be fortunate enough to own one.

You are a very lucky man.

I've offered to swap, it's up to you. Do you want an expensive, fast car that lives in the workshop, or a reliable, useful car that runs perfectly every day? 

I'm so tempted by the idea of an exchange.

If your environmentally friendly derv was presented in the same fetching 'projectile vomit green' of your previous 1.4 petrol I'd bite your hand off.

Thank you so much for your kind offer.





 

[STEMO]

Piece of junk. Get yourself a nice diesel astra, no faults on mine in the nearly 4 years I've had it.

It would be nice, but sadly I can only aspire to own an Astra derv.

I'm disappointed to say I will probably never be fortunate enough to own one.

You are a very lucky man.

I've offered to swap, it's up to you. Do you want an expensive, fast car that lives in the workshop, or a reliable, useful car that runs perfectly every day? 

I'm so tempted by the idea of an exchange.

If your environmentally friendly derv was presented in the same fetching 'projectile vomit green' of your previous 1.4 petrol I'd bite your hand off.

Thank you so much for your kind offer.

Sorry, mate, that ship has sailed. The offer was for a working jag, not one that has more electrical problems than a 20 year old omega. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Mine would probably tow yours no bother when you next break down. Give me a shout, if I'm near I'll drag you down to the dealer. Of course, because you drive a jag, I'd be obliged to charge you £700. 

Both have been reliable apart form the parts sourced from Tandy in 1972.

Actually the tech in the new 2021 XF looks pretty good.

[Marks DTM Calib]

PM me the VIN and I will check the codes......

[STEMO]

Mine would probably tow yours no bother when you next break down. Give me a shout, if I'm near I'll drag you down to the dealer. Of course, because you drive a jag, I'd be obliged to charge you £700. 

Both have been reliable apart form the parts sourced from Tandy in 1972.

Actually the tech in the new 2021 XF looks pretty good.

When it works. 

[Andy B]

....
 served by a fragrant well groomed receptionist aged about thirty. ....

man/woman/other? 

[STEMO]

....
 served by a fragrant well groomed receptionist aged about thirty. ....

man/woman/other? 

Any holes's a goal 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

https://youtu.be/lNt_Iws6eVw

It's not all doom and gloom though. I believe Jaguar will introduce this new 'state of the art' navigation system in 2022.

[STEMO]

They are becoming more intelligent all the time. You'll be out and about and it will say "I've discovered another fault, I'm taking you to the nearest dealer". 

[Doctor Gollum]

Cars, like all computer filled gubbins, are only as good as the programmers... Some are in the same office, some work for Apple