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[The Elite]

1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint to toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4. You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5. Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6. Reading when you're drunk is horrible, don't even bother trying if
you're stoned.

7. Your never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

8. Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.

9. You never know where to look when eating a banana.

10. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

11. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

12. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

13. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

14. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

15. The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is to call your teacher Mum or Dad.

16. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

17. Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

18. Old men or women with mobile phones look wrong !

19. Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

20. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

21. You never ever run out of salt.

22. Old ladies can eat more than you think.

23. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

24. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your head or hand trapped in something

25. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

26. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

27. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

28. People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard

29. You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

30. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

31. Bricks are horrible to carry.

32. In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

[The Red Baron]

no 29, how true.

[Entwood]

Undeniably so Mr Watson ......    

[The Barge Captain]

no 29, how true.

That's me then

Bugger............

[Banjax]

 

[The Red Baron]

no 29, how true.

That's me then

Bugger............

does that mean we are getting old then

[cem_devecioglu]

2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.  

exactly.. I dont know why

9. You never know where to look when eating a banana.
  yep

10. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

 Take a hair dryer and dry the the poor animal

23. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
 nope..


28. People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard..  
 Ahhh thats my biggest problem

 

[jimmas]

very good  

[Kevin Wood]

10. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

 Take a hair dryer and dry the the poor animal

Being stupid, Mrs. KW's cat always goes out in the rain.

I'm waiting for the opportunity to dry it with my air line.

Kevin

[bob.dent]

LOL, I can associate with most of those!

Can't remember what the calculator thing was (No.5) - was it supposed to spell something when held upside down? :-/

[The Red Baron]

LOL, I can associate with most of those!

Can't remember what the calculator thing was (No.5) - was it supposed to spell something when held upside down? :-/

BOOBLESS

[bob.dent]

LOL, I can associate with most of those!

Can't remember what the calculator thing was (No.5) - was it supposed to spell something when held upside down? :-/

BOOBLESS

Ah yes, that was it.  

[Martin_1962]

10. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

 Take a hair dryer and dry the the poor animal

Being stupid, Mrs. KW's cat always goes out in the rain.

I'm waiting for the opportunity to dry it with my air line.

Kevin

A pre marriage cat?

[cem_devecioglu]

10. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

 Take a hair dryer and dry the the poor animal

Being stupid, Mrs. KW's cat always goes out in the rain.

I'm waiting for the opportunity to dry it with my air line.

Kevin

 

[Kevin Wood]

10. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

 Take a hair dryer and dry the the poor animal

Being stupid, Mrs. KW's cat always goes out in the rain.

I'm waiting for the opportunity to dry it with my air line.

Kevin

A pre marriage cat?

Yes. Cat came as part of the deal.  

No so much of a problem. Most cats play up my allergies but not this one, it seems.

Kevin