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Author Topic: women and cars......  (Read 1605 times)

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sir moanalot

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women and cars......
« on: 13 December 2006, 21:50:49 »
as we have all been involved with our beloved cars for some time, im wondering how many of us have funny stories of our "wags" past and present, regarding their driving/mechanic skills??

my funny happened while i was earning a little xtra cash pizza delivering. one night i was sent to a cul-de-sac for a delivery. while i ran up to the house with the grub i asked the girlfriend to reverse the car around for a quick exit.
on my return to the car i found the front bumper about 1cm away from one of the house gates. when i asked why she was still facing the opposite way and jammed up against a house gate she told me that she could not find reverse and kept putting it in 5th and moving forward inch by inch and eventually had nowhere further to go...... she did not realise there was a "standard lift on the gearstick for reverse"  i love her to bits.............
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tunnie

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #1 on: 13 December 2006, 21:55:19 »
 ;D ;D

Quite a few years ago i went to scotland with my parents... flew up there got to the Herz stand, dad asked for a motor.... but he has only driven autos for the past 15 years, and wasn't about to learn a manual, so what autos have you got he asked?

The reply came back, a "Merc E320 is the only Auto i have sir" damn i thought, we have to have that, so we did.

Being our first merc, me and dad got in, mum waiting outside cause the car was in the wrong way to load the boot.

Fancy looking key but, key in, ignition on, started engine, Lift from P into D... and errrrr where is the Handbrake???

Thought ohh must be auto release? gave it some gas... heard some nasty sounds... took us around 5 mins to find it!  ;D ;D ::)
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Chopsdad

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #2 on: 13 December 2006, 21:56:00 »
I had my first omega reversed into a metal bollard whilst she tried a 3 point turn  - her excuse - I couldn't see it cos its so big!  :D
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Del Boy

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #3 on: 13 December 2006, 22:01:26 »
Lol ;D ;D
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sir moanalot

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #4 on: 13 December 2006, 22:10:20 »
told another girlfriend that when her "wear bar indicators" were worn down on her tyres that means her tyres needed replacing. she then asked wether she could have only the wear bars replaced to save money!!!!
didnt love her to bits.....
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Big Rod

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #5 on: 14 December 2006, 09:42:45 »
Just after my 'now wife' moved to Scotland, we were driving along the M8 towards Glasgow Airport in her Micra, (Yes I did have a brown paper bag just for that reason!).

She was in the middle lane, (surprise surprise!!), then asked me why the lorry behind her was driving so close. (Now, I can't condone tailgating, but it must be so irritating when a little piece of Japanese automotive detritus gets in the way of your 40 ft leviathan!!)

So I informs her that the lorry isn't allowed by law to use the third lane to overtake and that she should pull over to let him past...............

Guess which lane she changed to?!?!?!?!?!?

Yup, lane three!!!  :-[ Straight into the path of a Vectra on 'hyperdrive'!!  :o

Then she had the audacity to blame the lorry driver for forcing her to change lanes and the Vectra driver for driving too fast!!

Funny tho', now she's got a Meega, her driving's actually better!!  :question
« Last Edit: 14 December 2006, 09:43:27 by Big_Rod »
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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #6 on: 14 December 2006, 10:38:34 »
Quote
Just after my 'now wife' moved to Scotland, we were driving along the M8 towards Glasgow Airport in her Micra, (Yes I did have a brown paper bag just for that reason!).

She was in the middle lane, (surprise surprise!!), then asked me why the lorry behind her was driving so close. (Now, I can't condone tailgating, but it must be so irritating when a little piece of Japanese automotive detritus gets in the way of your 40 ft leviathan!!)

So I informs her that the lorry isn't allowed by law to use the third lane to overtake and that she should pull over to let him past...............

Guess which lane she changed to?!?!?!?!?!?

Yup, lane three!!!  :-[ Straight into the path of a Vectra on 'hyperdrive'!!  :o

Then she had the audacity to blame the lorry driver for forcing her to change lanes and the Vectra driver for driving too fast!!

Funny tho', now she's got a Meega, her driving's actually better!!  :question

You could change your name to Mr McGoo ;D
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The Barge Captain

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #7 on: 14 December 2006, 13:37:02 »
Fastest vehicle in the world must be an Astravan with a ladder on the roof.
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Elite Pete

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #8 on: 14 December 2006, 15:13:21 »
Dare I say it








































No cant do it :-X
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Del Boy

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #9 on: 14 December 2006, 17:32:22 »
Quote
told another girlfriend that when her "wear bar indicators" were worn down on her tyres that means her tyres needed replacing. she then asked wether she could have only the wear bars replaced to save money!!!!
didnt love her to bits.....

How stupid can some people be?
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Taxi_Driver

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Re: women and cars......
« Reply #10 on: 14 December 2006, 18:42:20 »
Quote
;D ;D

Quite a few years ago i went to scotland with my parents... flew up there got to the Herz stand, dad asked for a motor.... but he has only driven autos for the past 15 years, and wasn't about to learn a manual, so what autos have you got he asked?

The reply came back, a "Merc E320 is the only Auto i have sir" damn i thought, we have to have that, so we did.

Being our first merc, me and dad got in, mum waiting outside cause the car was in the wrong way to load the boot.

Fancy looking key but, key in, ignition on, started engine, Lift from P into D... and errrrr where is the Handbrake???

Thought ohh must be auto release? gave it some gas... heard some nasty sounds... took us around 5 mins to find it!  ;D ;D ::)

First merc i ever drove......bout 20 years ago.....i was sent to collect a merc company car from an ex employee.....knocked the door, got the keys......5 mins later i was knocking back at the door asking how you take the handbrake off  :-[

Ended up being given the merc as my company car......six months later i killed it!!  :o

Cambelt snapped..... ::)
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