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Author Topic: Joke.  (Read 3207 times)

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amigov6

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Joke.
« on: 11 December 2008, 21:39:18 »
Man get's pulled over for speeding. The police car follows the speeder into a lay by & is shocked to see the man get out of the car, let his dog out, & smack it a few times. Outraged the cop says "Right. Not only am i going to charge you with speeding but cruelty to that poor animal, WTF do you think you were doing?"
    " I'm really sorry" says the man "But he just ate my tax disc"!

   I'll see myself out. :D
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vauxfan2k

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #1 on: 11 December 2008, 21:44:01 »
Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum.

He asked her name, 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said.'I'm the one with the nuts,' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg.

He showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs. Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring.

He was quite pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who apparently had Allsorts!!!

 ::) ::) ::)
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Banjax

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #2 on: 12 December 2008, 00:51:26 »
i heard she was Lion on the grass having a Picnic and discovered a finger of Fudge was just enough  ;)

and I'll get my coat  ;D
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Taxi_Driver

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #3 on: 12 December 2008, 03:55:29 »
Quote
Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum.

He asked her name, 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said.'I'm the one with the nuts,' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg.

He showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs. Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring.

He was quite pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who apparently had Allsorts!!!

 ::) ::) ::)

LOL  i like that one ;D ;D ;D ;)
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gwa

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #4 on: 12 December 2008, 07:23:34 »
Good ones!!  ;D ;D
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gwa

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #5 on: 12 December 2008, 07:51:51 »
Mr Senior Service (a Bachelor) took Miss Player along the Strand, down Pall Mall and round Piccadilly. They went past Buckingham palace and down Park Drive where he took her behind Benson & Hedges and laid her on a Gold Leaf. He took out his Rothmans King Size and placed it in her Golden Virginia and enjoyed an Old Shag. Nine months later produced a little Cadet, it just shows “Senior Service Satisfies”
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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waspy

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #6 on: 12 December 2008, 09:33:30 »
Quote
Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum.

He asked her name, 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said.'I'm the one with the nuts,' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg.

He showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs. Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring.

He was quite pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who apparently had Allsorts!!!

 ::) ::) ::)

Tears in my eyes ;D ;D ;D ;D
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waspy

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #7 on: 12 December 2008, 09:34:05 »
Quote
Man get's pulled over for speeding. The police car follows the speeder into a lay by & is shocked to see the man get out of the car, let his dog out, & smack it a few times. Outraged the cop says "Right. Not only am i going to charge you with speeding but cruelty to that poor animal, WTF do you think you were doing?"
    " I'm really sorry" says the man "But he just ate my tax disc"!

   I'll see myself out. :D

Good one ;D ;D ;D :y
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Lizzie_Zoom

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #8 on: 12 December 2008, 09:36:17 »
Both brilliant and don't we need jokes like this at the mo with what is going on!  8-) 8-) 8-) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
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The Red Baron

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #9 on: 12 December 2008, 09:40:53 »
very good, nice to have a giggle on a dull friday morning.  ;)
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #10 on: 12 December 2008, 10:01:18 »
Quote
very good, nice to have a giggle on a dull friday morning.  ;)

Good to have a giggle evey day of the week. ;D ;D
« Last Edit: 12 December 2008, 10:10:46 by skruntie »
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Re: Joke.
« Reply #11 on: 12 December 2008, 10:07:05 »
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very good, nice to have a giggle on a dull friday morning.  ;)

Good to have a giddle evey day of the week. ;D ;D

whats one of them then? :D
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #12 on: 12 December 2008, 10:10:32 »
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very good, nice to have a giggle on a dull friday morning.  ;)

Good to have a giddle evey day of the week. ;D ;D

whats one of them then? :D

Like I said in the other thread, all going to pot. Eye sights going as well, and it's not as if the 2 keys are actually side by side.  :-[
« Last Edit: 12 December 2008, 10:11:09 by skruntie »
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LJay

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Re: Joke.
« Reply #13 on: 12 December 2008, 10:13:36 »
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very good, nice to have a giggle on a dull friday morning.  ;)

Good to have a giddle evey day of the week. ;D ;D

whats one of them then? :D

Like I said in the other thread, all going to pot. Eye sights going as well, and it's not as if the 2 keys are actually side by side.  :-[

Poor Skruntie! You do make me laugh though! :y
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Re: Joke.
« Reply #14 on: 12 December 2008, 10:19:26 »
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very good, nice to have a giggle on a dull friday morning.  ;)

Good to have a giddle evey day of the week. ;D ;D

whats one of them then? :D

Like I said in the other thread, all going to pot. Eye sights going as well, and it's not as if the 2 keys are actually side by side.  :-[

Poor Skruntie! You do make me laugh though! :y

Sign of advancing years m8 - wait to when you forget why you are looking at some of your pics!!! :o :o :o ;D ;D
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