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[Richie London]

see i think i am a bad mum some times.

i work all the time and spend hardly anytime with my son.

but is this my job? (royal navy leading aircraft engineering technichan)
i want whats best for him and i know keeping my job with whats going on in the uk today is a good start.

i used to think that but they understand more now, my x is a saint most of the time but does get me goat when she cant control the eldest and rings me. i know i was the worse kid going but that was the fault of my father for all the beating i used to get when young. so i cant say a lot to my kids now.

[Entwood]

You feel guilty about applying discipline ... he knows this and plays on it .. you feel even worse .. he plays on it even more.....

Its a battle he is winning. Unfortunately the only answer is tough love.

He must learn, the hard way if neccessary, that you are the boss and your word is law. Otherwise things will just get worse.

Believe it or not .. 48 hours of extreme hard work will ensure results . the only thing is .. and this is critical ... both your and your hubby MUST be exactly the same on ALL matters, or he'll play one against the other. and you'll end up fighting each other.

I came home from a detachment many moons ago to exactly this situation ... my wife had allowed things to go soft as the lad seemed to upset at me being away ... clever lad was playing it for all it was worth .. aged 5 !!! None of us enjoyed the following 48 hours, but once he realised he would not get his own way normality returned.

23 years later we still get on and he takes me to the pub to buy me a beer

It might sound daft .. but right now he needs you to be a parent .. not a friend .... too many folks try to be their kids friend .. don't work IMHO ...

[Marie]

entwood you are so right! and 90 % of the time me and jase do agree.

shane just doesnt seem to learn.

he does play us off against each other and we have both learnt to ask each other before we say anything to shane.

i suppose i and tired of fighting with shane. but i cant give up now.

its like a switch with shane one minute hes great and i mean bl@@dy great then the next its like the devil has got hold of him!

[Richie London]

when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing.  

[Marie]

when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing.  

i wish shane would do this, he starts throwing stuff then kicking and punchin walls and doors. hes like a little pi$$ed off drunk when he starts.

[Vamps]

when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing.  

i wish shane would do this, he starts throwing stuff then kicking and punchin walls and doors. hes like a little pi$$ed off drunk when he starts.

Marie, you need to nip this in the bud NOW, such behaviour will only get worse, the rows more freequent and your enjoyment of your child less. Entwood is right, firm but fair and he should soon learn. Good Luck.

[Entwood]

when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing.  

i wish shane would do this, he starts throwing stuff then kicking and punchin walls and doors. hes like a little pi$$ed off drunk when he starts.

What I did .. and remember I'm not an expert by any means ....  ALL his toys, books .. everything .. went in a box and didn't come out until he behaved. In those days no compters.TV's etc in their rooms .. I made life very very tedious and boring for him (and us BTW) and he was allowed no choices in anything... it was ALL do as I say until he co-operated, then for every thing he did right... . something was returned.... when he misbehaved .. it ALL went.. everything back to the start.

He never ever tried to kick/punch etc .. if he had he WOULD have been smacked .. HARD.

[Marks DTM Calib]

Typical 4 year pushing his boundaries.

We get that and sometimes it lasts for an hour or more.

Its a case of never give in....my little one has been stood on the front door step with no pants on for 10 minutes screaming before and I have removed the door handle from his room so he couldn't get out on more than one occasion.

Generaly, hes a good lad though!.

[Marie]

jases dad did this to him but he never got it back it went in the bin on bin day. needless to say jase always had a clean room!

i might just try it tomorrow. that will be one hell of a shock to him.

but then he doesnt get time to play with them in the week, lets see how tomorrow goes.

[Entwood]

Don't do it tomorrow and try to shock him .. do it NOW .. in front of him .. and explain why as you do it...... he doesn't need surprise or shocks .. he needs control ... and that requires explanations for everything you do in response to his actions ...

When he is good and you return something .. tell him why .. when he is bad and you clear his room again .. also tell him why ...  

[Marie]

hes being good right now which is a shock!

we explain all our actions to him i used to hate my mother says because i said so or because i told you to!

he has cried himself to sleep the last 2 days.

its the false cryin i cant handle

[Andy B]

You think it's bad now .... wait while he's 19 or 20!  

[Marie]

You think it's bad now .... wait while he's 19 or 20!  

he wont be living at home at that age! he will be long gone by then!

[Darth Loo-knee]

my son that is......arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hubby is going to get a gob full to at this rate. he just walks off!

son is driving me round the bend. hes only 4 but god.

he back chats, yells at us is rebellious and his temper is shocking.

i have tried the naughty step and putting him in his bed, its just not working!

god here we go again.............HELP!!!!!

Could he get this from you I wonder?

[Marie]

i dont think so! dad maybe good possibility