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Author Topic: If Microsoft made cars  (Read 447 times)

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razzo

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If Microsoft made cars
« on: 10 February 2009, 15:28:36 »


 


 
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.


At a  recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared  the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,  

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer  industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that go 1,000  miles to the gallon.'

In  response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press  release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics;

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........  
Twice  a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the  road, you would have to buy a new car.  

3. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason.  You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a  maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to  reinstall the engine.  

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was  reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal  Operation' warning light.  

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.  

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car  would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio aerial.  

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.  You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.  

PS - I'd like  to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer  service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some  foreign language how to fix your car  yourself!!!!

 :y



 
 
 
 
 
 
« Last Edit: 10 February 2009, 15:33:20 by razzo »
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Miggy24

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Re: If Microsoft made cars
« Reply #1 on: 10 February 2009, 15:35:56 »

They would prob be the best cars in the world lol
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