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[nick v6]

One other thing thats been missed here....is a 5 year old having run of the house while you are all asleep....

nothing really unusal there.....just be aware of her safety, ie pills, chemicals, knifes, windows not accessible.

just common sense, sure you have something in place, but maybe you expect to always be aware of what she is doing....which isnt currently the case.

at least with teachers aware, i would like to think they can put a stop to in-class distribution now they are aware it shouldnt be happening ( although I would have expected a heads-up off the teacher before hand for that)

everything is out of her reach
we didnt even know that she was walking the house when we was asleep
i only found out when i found the ice cream wrappers in her bed room

i have thought about getting a movement sensor alarm for down stairs that if she does decide to walk the house when we are all asleep she would set the alarm off

[JamesV6CDX]

ive tried the police station and now they wont talk to her

Out of interest, what reason did they give?

[Personal opinion] It's probably better dealt with at home, than involving Police

[nick v6]

ive tried the police station and now they wont talk to her

Out of interest, what reason did they give?

[Personal opinion] It's probably better dealt with at home, than involving Police

the first time i took her they was really helpfull
this time they turned round and said i'm wasting police time

[cem_devecioglu]

two facts.. Zulu goes strategic and have right..

And also Marks DTM..  goes directly for result..

No punishment, no result..

so you two must play different roles.. One must be good and other must be bad..

and in those conditions you have to punish her..

and cut all games,tv and the stuff she likes.. will be effective..

and tell her the second time you will be a different person..

while ann playing the soft one which will be more suitable..

[Lizzie_Zoom]

Nick I am reading this thread and trying hard to remind myself your daughter is just 5 years old, a young child who is well below the age of criminal and moral responsibility .

At that age they will push the boundaries and seek out weaknesses in the parents ability to control what is just a small child, with maybe a desire to seek attention for some reason that maybe only you and your wife can identify with.  Many young girls will start to have a fascination in cosmetics, purely due to the fact that what mummy does.  Certainly at 5 I was plastering make on all over my face because it seemed a fun thing to do.  Your daughter taking (not stealing, she is far too young to know that!) your wife's cosmetics is becuase she wants 'a bit of that', and doesn't realise it is wrong. 

You and your wife, I advise, should sit down with her and talk to her in a proper parent child manner for her age to explain the rights and wrongs of life, but only at the level she will understand at that age, including all that she has been up to, and what you expect from her from now on.  Explain to her that what she has been up to has worried her mummy and daddy. Remind her that everything has to be paid for, and perhaps your wife could take her shopping regularly, letting your daughter hand over the money the shop assistant requires to get her used to the idea 8-) 8-) 8-). Remember, with most girls we LOVE shopping from an early age, so play on that.  Ensure that there is no misunderstanding about the fact you have to pay for things in shops, and make that fun for her!  Maybe you could also let her have a little set of mum's old make up to play with and a dressing up box for being good, but warn her it will be all taken away if she is naughty again.

Please remember Nick she is only a child of 5, and at that age you both can dictate her behaviour by your actions as the parents; be firm but not too over-bearing.

Believe me what you are going through now may seem testing, but when she becomes a young teenager ...........I'll say no more as that is a long, long, way off, and you may have a trouble free time . 

Do not take this too seriously, as young children often can give you grief, but handle this in a way that is, I repeat, suitable for a five year old girl.     

[Gaffers]

Nick, the first thing that you need to do is sit with Ann and agree on the punishment because if you 2 as parents dont agree then it ill have a detramental affect. So discuss it and set the base line agreed level 

It needs to be hard and fair and will probably involve depriving her of some thing she enjoys (grounding, removal of computer/TV/DVD/MP3 player etc).
 

This is what I was going to suggest but then I have no kids and my experience of looking after one can be written in capitals on the reverse of a postage stamp!

As for you:


HAVE A HUG!


>--------------------------------- ------------------------------<

[going crazy]

I have been reading '1 minute father' by 'Spencer Johnson' and I reckon it is a good read atleast for someone like me with very little experience and virtually no family support. The book goes on to describe how parents tend to provide attention when the little one is naughty as opposed to rewarding for good behavoiur.

HTH

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-listing/0007191413/sr=8-1/qid=1245773511/ref=olp_tab_all?ie=UTF8&coliid=&me=&qid=1245773511&sr=8-1&seller=&colid=

[cem_devecioglu]

Nick I am reading this thread and trying hard to remind myself your daughter is just 5 years old, a young child who is well below the age of criminal and moral responsibility .

At that age they will push the boundaries and seek out weaknesses in the parents ability to control what is just a small child, with maybe a desire to seek attention for some reason that maybe only you and your wife can identify with.  Many young girls will start to have a fascination in cosmetics, purely due to the fact that what mummy does.  Certainly at 5 I was plastering make on all over my face because it seemed a fun thing to do.  Your daughter taking (not stealing, she is far too young to know that!) your wife's cosmetics is becuase she wants 'a bit of that', and doesn't realise it is wrong. 

You and your wife, I advise, should sit down with her and talk to her in a proper parent child manner for her age to explain the rights and wrongs of life, but only at the level she will understand at that age, including all that she has been up to, and what you expect from her from now on.  Explain to her that what she has been up to has worried her mummy and daddy. Remind her that everything has to be paid for, and perhaps your wife could take her shopping regularly, letting your daughter hand over the money the shop assistant requires to get her used to the idea 8-) 8-) 8-). Remember, with most girls we LOVE shopping from an early age, so play on that.  Ensure that there is no misunderstanding about the fact you have to pay for things in shops, and make that fun for her!  Maybe you could also let her have a little set of mum's old make up to play with and a dressing up box for being good, but warn her it will be all taken away if she is naughty again.

Please remember Nick she is only a child of 5, and at that age you both can dictate her behaviour by your actions as the parents; be firm but not too over-bearing.

Believe me what you are going through now may seem testing, but when she becomes a young teenager ...........I'll say no more as that is a long, long, way off, and you may have a trouble free time . 

Do not take this too seriously, as young children often can give you grief, but handle this in a way that is, I repeat, suitable for a five year old girl.     

Lizzie , new series!    children in 5 years of age is more clever than our  10.. They got impulses and knowledge bomdardment uncomparable to us..

So dont underestimate them..

Although I dont have children , I grow up-live together many from the family and I have serious   experiences ..

And an example we have a neighbour with a 5 year old girl..Although she is a  specific example,
I must say she just play with the parents how she wants.. :-?

[Lazydocker]

Nick, my thoughts on this are hard to fathom TBH... But I agree with MDTM... Needs to be a hard punishment which both you and Ann agree on and stick to.

I helped my mum out in a similar situation with my 15 year old brother about 8 months ago. Luckily, because I'm much older than him and live away from home, I carry a lot of sway with him. I drove up there (250+ miles) early one morning and read him his horoscope. Then confiscated his PS2, Nintendo DS and anything else he enjoyed. He has earnt these items back, slowly, and I hope he's learnt his lesson.

Now, he's considerably older than your girl but perhaps something along the same lines? :-/ :-/

[nick v6]

we have taken her toys and dolls away
her bedroom is nearly empty just her bed and cupboard now

so its just a case of is she going to do it again :-/

[Del Boy]

I agree with what Mark said 
I always did that but gave in, but both my sons used to get the idea to be honest 

[nick v6]

my dad was really strickt

he told me if he caught me stealing he would cut my fingers off
if he caught me smoking which he did once wen i was 10
and he made me sit and eat a fag

[cem_devecioglu]

my dad was really strickt

he told me if he caught me stealing he would cut my fingers off
if he caught me smoking which he did once wen i was 10
and he made me sit and eat a fag

has was a pragmatic guy who showed you the realities

[Vamps]

Have re-read the original post.
Q Nick you are up at 5 every morning, is your daughter back in bed and asleep?

Look Knee made a lot of sense re being popular in class, I know from York that she is not shy

She is the eldest, If I remember correctly, does she feel left out at all. Think about this, does she feel left out, not what you think? and as someone mentioned, you do have the wedding coming up.

Seems like some form of attention seeking behaviour, could be something or nothing, but the one big thing you need to remember is that You and Ann must agree and stick together, in front of her.

 You are both adults and need to behave as such, so disagree by all means, but in private.

It is important to instill 'Values' at a young age, but the thought of dragging a 4 year old, assuming she was last time, down the Police station horrifies me, she needs to be able to build up a trusting relationship with the Police.

No easy answers or quick fixes.

[Vamps]

we have taken her toys and dolls away
her bedroom is nearly empty just her bed and cupboard now
so its just a case of is she going to do it again :-/

I hope she has a cuddly toy or two at bed time........