Omega Owners Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Search the maintenance guides for answers to 99.999% of Omega questions

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down

Author Topic: joke NWS  (Read 916 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Richie London

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • heathrow
  • Posts: 10932
    • View Profile
joke NWS
« on: 11 August 2009, 20:16:05 »

Paddy goes to the doctors and says 'doctor i have a sore arse'.The doctor bends him over and finds a wad of money up there.'How much was up there asks Paddy'?The docotor replies £1900'.'Sounds about right' replies paddy, 'i knew i didnt feel too grand'!   
Logged

Richie London

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • heathrow
  • Posts: 10932
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #1 on: 11 August 2009, 20:22:22 »

A young pikey couple get married,the brides mother says to her...
"Now that you are married your husband is going to want to put his prize possession where you piss"

Daughter replies
"Why the opps would he want to put his tarmac rake in the caravan sink?"
Logged

waspy

  • Guest
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #2 on: 11 August 2009, 20:25:18 »

Quote
Paddy goes to the doctors and says 'doctor i have a sore arse'.The doctor bends him over and finds a wad of money up there.'How much was up there asks Paddy'?The docotor replies £1900'.'Sounds about right' replies paddy, 'i knew i didnt feel too grand'!   


 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Logged

Richie London

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • heathrow
  • Posts: 10932
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #3 on: 11 August 2009, 20:27:30 »

In a small parish church, one Sunday, an almighty cloud of smoke appeared, followed by a big flash.
When the smoke cleared, the devil was stood in the middle of the church, laughing.
All the parishioners screamed and ran out the door, closely followed by the vicar! All except one old man sat in the front.
"Why didn't you run away like everyone else? Do you know who I am? " the devil asked.
"I'm surprised that you don't recognise me." replied the old man, " I married you're sister."
Logged

Dishevelled Den

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12545
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #4 on: 11 August 2009, 20:35:23 »

All three  ;D ;D ;D :y
Logged

Welung666

  • Guest
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #5 on: 11 August 2009, 20:36:35 »

I had the Pikey one in a text the other day, I nearly soiled myself laughing when I read it ;D
Logged

Lizzie_Zoom

  • Guest
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #6 on: 11 August 2009, 20:36:39 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Logged

Vamps

  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bishop Middleham, Co Durham.
  • Posts: 24708
  • Flying Tonight, so Be Prepared.
    • Mig 2.6CDX and 2.2 Honda
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #7 on: 11 August 2009, 21:00:35 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
Logged

dbug

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Northants
  • Posts: 14279
  • Dont knock Linux!
    • Jaguar XJ 5.0V8 Portfolio
    • View Profile
    • Dbug IT Services
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #8 on: 11 August 2009, 22:47:50 »

Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had s*x for
 the first time, the proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate,
 but you will have to wait until next pay day' boy says 'that's alright
 Dad, my a*se is too sore to ride it anyway'
Logged
1972 Ferrari Dino, 1967 Triumph TR4A, Mondeo 2.0TDCi Estate, Jaguar XJ 5.0V8 Portfolio

dbug

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Northants
  • Posts: 14279
  • Dont knock Linux!
    • Jaguar XJ 5.0V8 Portfolio
    • View Profile
    • Dbug IT Services
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #9 on: 11 August 2009, 22:48:23 »

Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's
 home last night. They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed
 themselves.
Logged
1972 Ferrari Dino, 1967 Triumph TR4A, Mondeo 2.0TDCi Estate, Jaguar XJ 5.0V8 Portfolio

dbug

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Northants
  • Posts: 14279
  • Dont knock Linux!
    • Jaguar XJ 5.0V8 Portfolio
    • View Profile
    • Dbug IT Services
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #10 on: 11 August 2009, 22:48:53 »

I was at Tesco this afternoon, when a lady dropped dead in
 front of me, I felt really sorry for her - she had just bought a Bag
 for Life.
Logged
1972 Ferrari Dino, 1967 Triumph TR4A, Mondeo 2.0TDCi Estate, Jaguar XJ 5.0V8 Portfolio

Dishevelled Den

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12545
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #11 on: 11 August 2009, 22:49:45 »

Quote
Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had s*x for
 the first time, the proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate,
 but you will have to wait until next pay day' boy says 'that's alright
 Dad, my a*se is too sore to ride it anyway'



 ;D ;D ;D quality :y :y
Logged

Mr Skrunts

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • Skruntie Land.
  • Posts: 25648
  • 3.O Elite Saloon with all the toys,
    • 2003 CD 2.2 Auto
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #12 on: 12 August 2009, 10:30:40 »

Excellent, keep them coming. 
Logged
Ask yourself :  " WHY do I believe in what I believe?"

Remember that my opinions expressed here are not representative of the opinions of other members on the OOF Forum.

Ghost

  • Omega Baron
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Seaham, North East england
  • Posts: 2234
    • 2.6 V6 CDX Estate
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #13 on: 12 August 2009, 11:15:41 »

Brill think there good [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif]
Logged
He who brakes Looses
To old to die young

Richie London

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • heathrow
  • Posts: 10932
    • View Profile
Re: joke Skrunties sex maniac thread
« Reply #14 on: 12 August 2009, 16:27:30 »

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained;

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any rather Frenchmen to show it to."
Logged
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.024 seconds with 16 queries.